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    Do’s And Don’ts

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    As you look through your closet trying to find the perfect dress to wear to a wedding, there are some things that you need to be mindful of.

    Never mind the style of your outfit, it is basic etiquette to avoid certain colours.

    If you are not sure what those are, here are five colours you should avoid wearing.

    White

    80% of brides wear white to their wedding, and it’s important that a bride stands out on her special day. You do not want to look like you’re trying to upstage her. Only wear white when the bride has specifically asked guest to.

    Glitter (gold or anything metallic) 

    If not white, the bride I most likely to wear a champagne-coloured dress, which you won’t know until you see her.

    To stay on the safe side, avoid ensembles that are predominantly gold or champagne-colored.

    The color the bridesmaids wear

    If you can, ask the bride for a heads-up on what color the bridesmaids’ dresses are so you won’t look like the one that wasn’t included.

    If you don’t know the bride or any of the bridesmaids, use the wedding invitation as a clue—usually, an invite is designed to match a wedding’s colour palette.

    Overly bright colours

    Again, this could mean that you want the spotlight to be on you. Imagine rocking up wearing a neon dress. When choosing a bright colour, consider the season and where the wedding is going to be held.

    Denim

    This colour (fabric) comes across as too casual for a wedding. You can get away with wearing denim if it is a denim jacket as a coverup for a cold-weather event.

    Picture: Unsplash

    Parenthood doesn’t require DNA and some people already have children, either from a previous relationship or before marriage. When they decide to marry other people and bring their families together, they create a blended family.

    Bringing your families together and including them in your big day is a sweet way to honour them. Here are some ways to do it, and make sure no one feels neglected or left out.

    Have a unity Ceremony

    Unity ceremonies are meaningful rituals performed during your wedding to represent becoming a union and the joining of lives, families and communities. Being highly symbolic, there are multiple ways you can do this, which can be personalised to your new family. One idea is to write meaningful letters to each other and read them out during the ceremony, then put them in a jar to keep as a family symbol.

    Give them roles

    Another way you can include your blended family is by assigning them roles. From a ring bearer to a flower girl, the possibilities are endless. This is guaranteed to make them feel included in the ceremony and when you are all looking at the wedding album, they will be delighted to see themselves featured and having participated.

    Give them gift

    Gifting is one of the five universal love languages, it shows the next person that you have thought of them and value them enough to gift them. Give them the same or similar gifts to your biological kids, or get them something they have always wanted.

    Presenting something special to your new child/children is a wonderful gesture to symbolise that they are an important part of this new family.

    Include them in the planning 

    Kids love doing exciting things, to them everything is playtime and by including them in the planning process, you get the chance to bond with them. Let them participate in everything from cake tasting to licking invitation envelopes.

    Encourage them to invite a few of their best friends and their family members to the wedding so that they have familiar faces apart from you.

    Have a family dance 

    After the first dance, invite the kids to come out and join you on the dance floor to their favourite tune. It would be extra fun and special if you practiced a dance prior to the wedding. You can even give them the task of coming up with the steps to our dance routine as the kids of the family.

    Picture: Unsplash

    After getting engaged, you already know that the next step is getting married and that includes the wedding and its planning. Your date can be chosen based on a number of things like a season, a location, family members, or a special date. However, if you have always dreamt of a specific destination or venue, then your wedding date might depend on the availability of the place.

    Specific special dates

    Many wedding dates are related to a special day, like each other’s birthday, the day that you met, your favourite restaurant, or the day you got engaged. When you want a specific date, start planning as soon as possible and call venues and vendors you want to hire. Most wedding venues can be booked a year in advance.  You will have peace of mind knowing that you have secured the venue but you need to have a plan B just in case something unforeseen happens.

    Choose the season

    Start by thinking about your favourite times of the year. Is there is a month or season that you would like to get married in? It is also very important to understand that the time of the year can affect your venue, wedding colours, and theme. Consider the weather, holidays, and commitments you have each month before you choose to host the wedding then.

    Indoors or outdoors

    When you are going to choose to have a wedding outdoors it is important to consider the season because as a person, you don’t know what the weather will look like. For the bride, think about the type of gown that would be comfortable for the venue, a short-sleeved gown will probably not work for a beach wedding in winter. Research the weather conditions in the location you are planning on getting married in and ask your wedding planner.

    Think budget

    There are months that are cheaper than others, people buy winter clothes in summer and vice versa. If you are working with a budget then this might be the idea you take and run with. April, September, and December are some of the most popular marriage months, so prices are inevitably higher. You will most like to pay high prices for everything, from venues to decor. Pick an off-peak month, where you’re more likely to get discounted prices and a better selection of venues.

    Picture: Unsplash

    Music is one of the important parts of your wedding reception, because people come together on the dance floor. It’s the music that truly has the power to make or break the wedding reception so choosing what should be played at your wedding is a big decision to make.

    At the end of the day, it comes down to personal preference and costs, so here’s a look at the pros and cons of a live wedding band or DJ.

    A live band 

    In South Africa, a live band at a private function like a wedding costs roughly R 12 000 to R30 000. Prices vary based on your location and other factors, like the size of the band.

    Pros

    – Live song requests – people and the couple can ask the band to play their favourite songs

    – It is more personal than a DJ

    – It appeals to younger and older guests

    – You and your guests will experience the pleasure of a live performance

    Cons

    – The big disadvantage of hiring a band is that they tend to be a tad expensive

    – Bands also take up more space than a DJ

    – The travelling cost and accommodation might be your responsibility if the band is not local

    – A band might have one genre of music throughout

    A DJ 

    Private function DJs can cost anywhere between R6500 to R12 000, while celebrity DJ prices range from R20 000 to R45 000. Plenty of couples hire a wedding DJ and prefer the diversity of music over a live band.

    Pros

    – A DJ can play different genres of music to appeal to a larger crowd

    – They don’t require much space to set up

    – They are usually local unless you want a celeb DJ

    Cons

    – Your wedding reception lives and dies depending on the DJ

    – Since DJ equipment is usually a bit more “techy” it comes with a lot of wires – and sometimes it can look a little messy

    – The equipment could crash and that would be the end of music and the vibe it brings

    Some people prefer to have both, a DJ and a live band, to cater to everyone. The band is usually reserved for the romantic first dance. If this is the kind of vibe you want, then you should look into the cost of it all.

    Pictures: Unsplash

    Weddings are (almost) back to normal with the new Level 1 regulations. Venues may be filled to 50% capacity with the cap on outdoor venues at 500 people.  So, unless you live in Buckingham Palace, you shouldn’t have to cut too many from your guest list for a backyard wedding.

    Having your wedding in your own garden might be a very attractive option for some for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, you don’t have to budget for venue hire, and you can get any date you choose. Some might also feel safer in terms of COVID-19, as you don’t have to go into a public space.

    If you decide to go this route, you have to do it well. Here are our top tips on how to make sure your big day is extra special.

    Decide on the number of guests

    Firstly, depending on your space, budget and current lockdown regulations, you and your partner will need to decide how many guests you can invite. Backyard weddings tend to be smaller and more intimate, so firstly set out a list of your closest family and friends you want to invite. Remember to count all the vendors and the marriage officer too. All this will help determine how you lay out of the wedding and the rest of your plans.

    Consider the weather

    Depending on the season in the area you live, you might have to provide some form of cover from wind, rain or sun. Shop around for different styles of marquee tents, tepees, gazebos or even just umbrellas. You wouldn’t want to have everyone slosh around in mud or get heat stroke on your wedding day.

    Use available space economically

    Decide where you want the ceremony, the ‘waiting area’ and the reception. Of course, it can all be the same spot if you choose, but make sure guests know where you want them. Also be mindful of social distancing for your own and your guests’ safety. Place families together at dining tables and place seats at the reception far apart. Names on seats and tables are an easy way to guide everyone.

    Match your decor to what you already have 

    If your garden is the setting, you can work with what you have and just add subtle extras to complement existing beauty. Take note of the plants growing in your garden and match your colour scheme to that. Also try to use functional items doubly as decor. For example, if you have an arch at the ceremony, why not make it double as a photo booth at the reception? If you have a gifts table, ask your bridal parties to move the gifts indoors before the reception and convert that table into the drinks station.

    Images: Pinterest

    Featured Images: Pexels

    A newly married couple have been criticised for their ‘tasteless’ actions after they shared pictures from their recent wedding day.

    In the images the bride and groom, wearing old-fashioned plague masks, hold hands as their guests lay strewn around them as if they were dead. The images were captioned,  “For all the COVID brides! Don’t let it overshadow your fun!”

    The post was shared to Reddit, where users quickly admonished the couple and accused them of being offensive in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.

    “Of all the heartless and tacky things I’ve see lately on the sub, this one takes the wedding cake. This is absolutely disgusting, tasteless, and just sick,” wrote on Reddit user.

    “This is akin to having a wedding at the Auschwitz museum and being like, “lol, dead people!”. It’s not a joke, real people have died. People that were loved ones, real daughters and father’s who’s death devastated families. This isn’t a damn joke,” commented another.

    Feature image: Pexels

    It’s always tough to see an ex move on and find a new love. However, it’s a whole different can of worms if that ex found their partner while you were still together. This is exactly what happened to Nikyta Moreno, who accidentally discovered her ex-husband had cheated on her.

    Unfortunately, Moreno did not find this unsettling news out privately. She put two and two together when reading an article in the New York Times’ Wedding section, where her ex and his new wife had announced their recent nuptials.

    The article, originally published on August 7, detailed how her ex-husband Robert Palmer met and fell in love with Lauren Maillian. It was a very sweet story of love in the face of adversity, and Palmer even calls his new wife “the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is the most meaningful, deep connection I’ve ever had.”

    A beautiful story, except it had one false detail: it claimed that Palmer had never been married before.

    Moreno didn’t take this lying down. Instead, she wrote her own article for the New York Post to set the record straight.

    “According to the (New York Times) article, the couple, Rob and Lauren, started their relationship in January 2017. It also said that he had never been married. That was news to me — because I was his wife in January 2017,” Moreno wrote in her article. “We split in late March of that year, officially divorcing in January 2018, and I never exactly understood why. Until I read about it in the Times.

    “He was publicly admitting that he dated this woman while we were married — the details of his infidelity laid out on the page. When I put their presentation next to the truth, it was like one of those ­reality-versus-Instagram memes come to life.”

    “He was my best friend, and my whole life was destroyed,” she wrote. “But I knew something else was wrong. I suspected he had cheated on me, but when I confronted him about it, he never quite answered me.”

    Despite all of this, Moreno ended her article saying she wishes him and his new wife all the best.

    The article went viral as soon as it was published, and readers quickly took Moreno’s side. Palmer eventually released a statement, telling CNN: “Nikyta and I were separated and both consented to a mutual and amicable divorce. This is all very surprising to me and I was unaware that there was ever an issue. I’m happy with my family and I wish Nikyta the best.”

    Picture: Pexels

    Being a wedding photographer is a tough job. Tasked with capturing one of the most special days in a person’s life can be daunting, but South Africa has a wealth of talented individuals ready to rise to the occasion.

    Photographers, like all wedding vendors, have been deeply impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. For months, photographers were left without gigs as infections surged and people stayed indoors to avoid contracting the virus.

    As the industry slowly reopens under Level 2 lockdown, vendors will have to adjust to the new reality. Wedding ETC spoke to Cape Town-based photographer Micaela Peters of Micaela Sling Photography to hear the reality of weddings in lockdown.

    Peters has been seriously shooting for about a year, and her love for the art form is continuously growing. What started out as her being tired of being in front of the camera as a model and blogger turned into a more permanent post.

    However, the lockdown was a massive blow, forcing her to change tactics.

    “Lockdown has impacted my business immensely. At the beginning, no photoshoots were allowed at all, meaning no income for photographers – and we had to adapt by doing product shoots for business that continued their digital marketing.

    “With companies losing profits and people losing their jobs, many stopped doing photoshoots. Weddings that were planned were cancelled or postponed, which made it really tough for photographers who relied solely on photography as their income.”

    Weddings are now allowed under Level 2 lockdown, however strict health and safety regulations must be in place. No more than 50 may gather, and all guests are required to wear a mask at all times except when eating and drinking.

    Weddings in lockdown from a photographer's lens

    A wedding is all about love, laughter and joy. How does one go about this big day when you’re not supposed to hug and kiss? Peters recently shot a lockdown wedding, and the experience was unique, to say the least.

    “I think one thing that stood out for me was how impersonal some pictures had to be when it came to the elderly. The wearing of the masks, the sanitisers, social distancing has become a norm. However, its tough for people to abide by these laws at a wedding because they’re around close friends and family whom they ‘trust.’ The churches are less full, and more impersonal during the wedding because guests need to social distance, therefore you need to be more creative with making the pictures not look impersonal.”

    Weddings in lockdown from a photographer's lens

    She continues: “Photographers are needing to adapt their lens to keep a distance, as well as constantly sanitising to protect themselves and others. Wedding parties are smaller, and extremely intimate, making you ease up and be more comfortable with people, making it easy to forget about coronavirus.”
    In general, photographers have had to change their tactics in light of the pandemic, but not that much has changed. Peters explains that it has, however, forced her to become a lot more creative and resourceful.
    Weddings in lockdown from a photographer's lens

    “Location scouting has been tough, especially because so many restaurants and locations have closed down due to the pandemic, resulting in more research being required. Other than those, shooting in the pandemic is not a major change.

    “Taking precautions have just become a norm, and being responsible when it comes to sanitising yourself and letting your client know if you’re feeling sick and need to postpone or having an open conversation with them about their health. “

    Now that weddings are back on the cards, it’s important for couples to do their research before booking a photographer. Here are Micaela’s top tips:

    – Check the photographer’s previous work before agreeing to the shoot as once the 50% is paid, you can’t get it back if you don’t like their work.

    – Skype calls or meet ups are important to clarify expectations and what the package entitles couples to

    – Some wedding photographers are willing to negotiate the prices or adapt the package to accompany your needs and budget (many have had financial strain during lockdown)

    – Signing of a contract protects both you and the photographer, so make sure to read it carefully

    – Do a couples shoot before the wedding to build a good chemistry with the photographer and get to know them.

    If you’re in need of a wedding photographer, Micaela is your girl. Besides weddings, she also does lifestyle photography and works with bloggers. If you would like to work with her, find her Wedding Package HERE. Check out her work on her Instagram page, at Micaela Sling Photography or her Facebook page. Also make sure to visit her website www.micaelasling.co.za  
    Images: Supplied

    Flowers are stunning, but they’re also a bit expected for a wedding day. Why not swop them out for some adorable puppies instead?

    Puppy bouquets are a great alternative that offers more than just a few extra cute wedding guests. Couples work with animal shelters and rescues to showcase the sweet pups at their weddings in the hopes that someone in the crowd will adopt them. This way, you help dogs in need find their forever home.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CDtn-KpHU1n/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    If you love this idea and would like to include it in your big day, there are a few things to keep in mind. The health and safety of the dogs must be a top priority, so it is important you have structures in place to protect them.

    Before bringing the dogs, make sure a welfare check has been conducted. Things to consider are whether they are old enough to be taken away from their mother, whether they have been vaccinated, and whether any of them have any injuries or anxieties that may affect them being outside.

    These puppies are not toys, and not meant to be held throughout the ceremony. Instead of carrying them down the aisle, the bridal party can simply swop out their floral bouquets for the pups during the official wedding photoshoot. This limits the time they have to be held down.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B9hi-MEB6kI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    For the photoshoot, make sure to brief your party on the proper way to hold a dog as those without pets may to be familiar how to do it.

    It’s also important to be considerate of loud noises. If you plan on having dogs present, a fireworks display is a really bad idea as it can make them very nervous and scared. Loud music, horns or just the general traffic of a busy wedding can all contribute to their anxiety.

    Having a safe space where the pups can rest, away from the guests will also be really helpful.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CAiBIOGHRRP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

    Feature image: Pexels

    Weddings can make mothers go a bit crazy. Considering their child is marrying someone and starting a new life, it’s fair to say that it is an emotional moment. However, some mothers have taken things to a whole new level on their child’s big day.

    Here are some of the craziest things mothers have done come wedding day.

    I object:

    This mother interrupted her son’s wedding as her future daughter-in-law was saying her vows. In a viral Tik Tok video, she continues to heckle the daughter, telling her “You’re not going to say my son has flaws”.

    DJ duties:

    Music can make or break a wedding. This mother clearly knew this, and went behind the bride’s back to change all the pre-determined music for the big day.

    “Oml… so months ago I made selections for my dj music and I have the usual week of DJ call. TURNS OUT MY MOTHER CALLED A MONTH AGO AND SHE CHANGED THE MUSIC FOR EVERYTHING. The ceremony music, bridal party walk in, last dance song… everything. Oml,” the bride explains in a Facebook post.
    “Because she is paying she has access to the password on their site to change the music (which she changed my music to music from the 70s and nothing anyone in their 20s would know) the DJ shut down access for everyone, so she can’t change anything back.
    “The DJ and I are having a good laugh and I’m not surprised because this is usual behavior for her but ugh… it’s my wedding. Let me pick my music.”

    Prior commitments:

    This mother-in-law tried to get the bride and her fiancé to change the date of their wedding day because she wouldn’t be available. Fair enough right? Right…except her prior commitment was a Mardi Gras ball that she wants to attend. The wedding date had already been set a month prior and the couple would not be able to receive a deposit if they cancelled.

    Matchy matchy:

    Wearing white to a wedding day if you’re not the bride is a cardinal sin. Even worse is to wear a dress that is almost identical to the bride. This future mother-in-law did exactly that.

    Posting on a Facebook Bridal page, the bride expressed her anger over a picture her fiancé sent her, which shows what his mother plans to wear to the wedding. The mother’s cream coloured lace gown is incredibly similar to the bride’s wedding dress.

    The wedding dress vs the mother-in-laws dress. Credit: Facebook

    Heartbreak hotel:

    Weddings have a habit of bringing the tears, but this one is pretty weird. A mother-in-law (who lost her father 20 years prior) had a full breakdown during the wedding reception because she missed her father. Turns out she had been enjoying the Patron shots a bit too much.

    So I finally get a moment to myself during the reception to eat some pie (I cannot stand cake) when my husband’s cousin comes up to me with a look of horror upon her face. She tells me I had better come with her because there is a “situation”,” the bride explains in a Facebook post.

    “She leads me to the only restroom in the reception hall and I hear this wretched noise…like imagine that awful cat sex sound..coming from it. She opens the door for me, and I shit you not, there is a huddle of 30 women crying in that restroom. My mother is the center of it SHRIEKING “I MISS MY DADDY” over and over and over. Well, I nope the hell out of that real quick and instruct my husbands cousin to go get my father in law.

    “He went in and fireman carried my MIL out of the restroom, all while she is now shrieking about “MY BABY! MY BABY GOT MARRIED TODAY! MY BAAAAAAABBBBBBBYYYYYYY!!!” By the time my husband got out to their vehicle to say goodbye it was revealed that she had been taking shots of Patron…which, by that time, she had vomited all over her dress.”

    Present your presents:

    Seven months after the wedding day, the mother of the bride sent a message into the extended family group chat to remind guests to send in their wedding gifts.

    Come to me:

    Settling on a wedding venue can be tough, especially if you’re family lives far away. This mother took things personally when her daughter chose a venue outside of where she lives. In fact, she threatened to skip the wedding entirely!

    “I just got engaged (yay!) and my mother is threatening to skip the wedding because it’s not in upstate New York (Buffalo) where my parents live. 90% of the attendees, including my fiancé, myself, his entire family, and our close friends live in NYC so that’s where we want to host it. Plus we figured out a venue and budget that works for us,” the bride explains in a Facebook post.
    “My parents are telling me it’s a huge burden and that I must hate them, obviously. I’m not asking them to pay for anything for this wedding, I just asked them to show up. I offered to pay for their travel expenses.
    The big excuses? They have five cats and a dog and refuse to let me hire them a pet sitter. Don’t get me wrong, the pets are important and I love them. But my parents are about to skip my wedding because they’ve prioritized and infantilized them.”

    Feature image: Unsplash