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    In Bachelorette Party

    The Hen Commandments: Dos and don’ts for planning the bachelorette party

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    Have you been tasked with arranging the all-important bachelorette party? Before you break out in hives because of the sheer immensity of the situation, read our Hen Commandments. This dos and don’ts list will ensure you throw a party that will leave the bride glowing with happiness – not fuming with anger.

    #1 Thou shalt be organised

    Set a day way in advance and give everyone enough time to arrange their lives, plan and be there (with bells on) for the bride.

    #2 Thou shalt organise a night the bride wants

    And not what you want… If the bride is a Champagne and strawberries kind of lady, don’t arrange a craft-beer tasting and hot-dog day. Or if she loves to chug back the brew, don’t get everyone together for a high tea. Be creative about your theme and activities, and make sure they reflect the bride’s personality.

    #3 Thou shalt never make the bride feel awkward

    It might be a lot of fun to dress the bride up like Borat and make her dance at a traffic light, but the whole reason for the hen party is for her to stop fretting about the wedding for a second and have a blast. You don’t want her dying of embarrassment and wishing she was folding 700 paper frogs with Aunt Margaret instead.

    #4 Thou shalt not assume the bride wants a stripper

    It’s not a bachelorette bash without some strippers! Ever heard that gem? It’s rubbish, ladies. It can leave some conservative brides in tears. Find other ways to spend the money, unless your bride has specifically requested one (or three).

    #5 Thou shalt take others’ budgets into account

    Nobody wants to feel pressured to spend more than they can afford on a night out or a weekend away. Before you make the plans, get an idea of what everyone is willing to spend on the party, and then set a budget.

    #6 Thou shalt discuss the list with the bride

    You can keep everything else a surprise, but not the guest list. If you leave out someone important, the bride will have to deal with the consequences.

    #7 Thou shalt involve others

    Yes, you might be the maid of honour and the bride’s BFF, but that’s not to say no one else can get involved in the planning. Be open to ideas and offers of help, and delegate where possible.

    #8 Thou shalt relax and enjoy thyself

    Being the person in charge can be stressful, but if you’re not enjoying yourself, neither will anyone else. Relax and let the party come together.

    #9 Thou shalt get everyone home safe

    If you’re hitting the town and painting it red, organise Ubers or a shuttle for everyone. You don’t need any drama close to the wedding.

    #10 Thou shalt not post ugly photos on Facebook

    Ban phones and any posting to Facebook or Instagram on the night, and keep any dodgy photos to yourself. Waking up with a hangover is one thing. Waking up with a hangover and your night blasted all over the ’Gram is another…

    ALSO SEE: Relaxing bachelorette party ideas for the chilled bride

    Relaxing bachelorette party ideas for the chilled bride

    Written by Claire Davies for Wedding Etc Summer 2019.

    Feature image: Pexels

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    wedding day tips for grooms
    In Advice

    Wedding day tips for grooms to keep the big day stress-free

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    While much of the planning attention often centres on the bride, the groom has an important role to play too. A few simple preparations can help you look sharp, feel comfortable and stay calm throughout the celebration. These tips will help ensure everything runs smoothly before (and while) you say “I do”.

    Bring a spare shirt

    Weddings can be emotional, busy and sometimes warm. Between nerves, hugs and dancing, it’s easy to sweat through a shirt. Pack a second crisp shirt so you can change before the reception or photos later in the day.

    Empty your pockets

    Phones, wallets, keys and loose change can create awkward bulges in suit trousers and they will show in photos. Before the ceremony and portraits, do a quick pocket check and hand essentials to a groomsman.

    Break in your shoes

    Brand-new dress shoes might look great, but they can quickly become uncomfortable. Wear them around the house a few times before the wedding to soften the leather and avoid blisters.

    Do a full outfit trial

    Try on your entire outfit before the big day, from tie or bowtie to cufflinks and shoes. A quick dress rehearsal ensures nothing is missing and helps you feel confident getting ready on the morning of the wedding.

    Prepare your accessories

    Small details complete the look. Lay out your cufflinks, watch, belt, tie clip and pocket square the night before so you’re not rushing to find them while getting dressed.

    Practise your speech

    If you’re planning to give a speech, run through it a few times beforehand. You don’t need to memorise every word, but feeling familiar with the flow will help calm nerves and make the moment feel more natural.

    Keep a small groom kit

    A simple emergency kit can save the day. Include items like deodorant, breath mints, tissues, a lint roller and stain remover wipes and ask a groomsman to keep it nearby.

    Trim and groom ahead of time

    Schedule haircuts or beard trims two to three days before the wedding. This allows everything to settle so you look polished but natural in photos.

    Assign a trusted groomsman

    Give one groomsman the responsibility of holding essentials like the rings, vows or your phone. It keeps your pockets empty and your mind free from small worries.

    ALSO SEE: Wedding ceremony tips to know before you walk down the aisle

    Wedding ceremony tips to know before you walk down the aisle

    Feature image: Pexels

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    wedding veil
    In Accessories

    To veil or no veil? That is the question

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    For centuries brides have worn veils for a number of symbolic and religious reasons. From warding off evil spirits in ancient Greece to displaying a woman’s virtue in Christianity, the veil has become a traditional wedding garment.

    But this doesn’t mean that they’re mandatory. Many brides opt not to wear a veil on their wedding day, choosing to go with stunning clips, grips and headbands instead. If you’re undecided, here’s a guide to help you make your choice.

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    wedding website
    In Planning

    Tips for creating a wedding website

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    The digital age is upon us. Hard print copy is slowly leaving our fingertips as we migrate online. Most people have access to the internet and a variety of digital devices. As lovely as physical wedding invites are it may be a great idea to consider a digital approach. To help you along we have put together a few notes on how to achieve a successful site. Here are a few nifty tips to consider when starting your own wed-site. 

    1. Know your limits

    If you’re not great with computers don’t opt for a website where you have to create everything from scratch. Rather go with platforms that provide existing templates. You can still customise it and make it look great! Make sure to choose a website that will showcase what you want and make you happy. Look around and decide after viewing a few options.

    2. Don’t forget the basics

    It’s so much fun choosing various designs and pictures so try to remember the basics. Be informative and ensure your wed-site goes beyond just aesthetics. Remember to include the what, where, when, who and how. Provide your guests with the 411 on dress code, the program, accommodation, location, registry, and local attractions if you are planning a destination wedding.

    3. Representation

    Be sure to create a wed-site that is a great reflection of you as a couple and of your wedding theme. Personalize the display to give guests a sneak peek of your big day – stick to a specific font, incorporate your colour scheme, or include a small photo timeline. To add extra flair, something to consider is creating a unique logo.

    4. Boast yourselves

    It’s your big day and you’re allowed to make things about yourselves. Tell your guests about your love story, how you met, funny anecdotes and how things led to this point. With that being said don’t write essays – keep things short and sweet.

    5. Registries and hashtags

    Hashtags are a great way to create an online photo album that all your guests can take part in. Perhaps the most beneficial feature of a hashtag is its ability to pull all of your wedding photos, from any source, into one place. Don’t forget to add your wedding registry link. 

    6. Protect your big day

    Be sure to use a password for your wed-site. You don’t need any wedding crashers. Any special invite-only events shouldn’t be mentioned on the wed-site like rehearsal dinner and bachelor parties.

    7. Consideration

    As mentioned before, digital is taking over but consider the fact that elderly people may not keep up with the times. If your elderly guests still sit waiting for the postman, try creating a special physical copy just for them. Also, consider having a FAQ section. Things may not always be clear and that’ll help a lot.

    Don’t think of a bland email that just consists of details and lack of creativity and representation of your love. Creating a wedding website or wed-site can be fun and exciting.

    You’re able to put your own twist on things and can play it up or down as much as you’d like. You don’t have to be tech-savvy as many websites offer existing templates that you can customise. With just one click, your guests can check out all the details and be informed of any changes.

    ALSO SEE: How to decide who gets an invite to your wedding

    How to decide who gets an invite to your wedding

    Image: Pixabay

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    In Advice

    Should you change your surname after marriage?

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    Changing your surname to your partner’s last name is often a custom that is expected and not discussed until someone questions why. In a shift away from tradition, it is becoming more common for partners to keep their own surnames and ditch the admin that comes with changing your name.

    Where the tradition stems from

    Historically, it all started in medieval England where people were known by their Christian names – just a first name. It started to go pear-shaped when names were recycled and there were more than one person with the same name. To distinguish between individuals as well as families, a second name, or surname rather, was chosen for the familial ‘group’ according to occupation or location. It was only later that women who got married had to take on the surname of the man purely based on superiority and patriarchy. This meant the woman had no legal identity apart from the man, and of course the same went for a newborn baby girl who automatically took her father’s surname. Women couldn’t vote, sign a contract, be independently recognised or even start a business if they did not take their husband’s surname.

    Changing your name

    Our identity is intimately linked to our names. Letting go of that name is hard – it feels like you’re letting go of a part of yourself, even though it won’t change who you are. For example, you could have an Indian surname but marrying a German might make you feel like you can’t identify with your heritage anymore.

    Let’s be honest, it’s a shlep. In most cases it’s the woman who will change her maiden name or opt for a hyphenated version of her surname and her husband’s surname. In same-sex marriages it’s the same situation, but it all comes down to the legal aspect of changing every single account or legal document of your entire existence. In South Africa, as of 1992 it is legal for a woman to use her maiden surname, her husband’s surname or, as of 1977, a double-barreled surname after she is married. It’s a lengthy process but it’s not impossible, just be prepared to stand in a few queues.

    Keeping your maiden name

    For women who have a professional career or a namesake business, it will make things much easier should you wish to keep your maiden name. If you are also the last female family member in line holding onto your specific surname, you might want to keep it.

    With that said, changing your surname to match you husband’s means you will pass it on to your children, so that everyone in your immediate family shares the the same surname. This traveling easier for everyone and it creates a feeling of unity.

    The bottomline is…

    It is totally up to you. It is no longer a law that a wife absolutely has to take her husband’s surname, you have to consider what it means to you. More often than not the decision will be purely emotional, rather than practical.

    ALSO SEE: Get creative with your wedding dress after the big day

    Get creative with your wedding dress after the big day

    Feature image: Unsplash

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    lily collins
    In Celebs

    Lily Collins reunited with her engagement ring three years after it was stolen

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    For many brides, losing an engagement ring is the ultimate nightmare. For Lily Collins, that nightmare became a reality.  But the story now has a happy ending.

     

    Alternative engagement ring stones

    Feature image: Lily Collins/Instagram

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