So your wedding day planning is coming together. You’ve got your vendors sorted out and your decor and attire is turning out perfectly. Now, you’re focusing on the finer details. Included in these details are the wedding vows.
Many couples find pleasure in writing their own wedding vows. They believe it’s more special, more personal, and a way to fully express what their partner means to them. For others, writing wedding vows is a nightmare. You’re concerned about what other people will think, if you’ll bore your guests, if you’ll speak for too long, the list of worries are endless.
If you’re still uncertain about which way you’ll go, perhaps considering the pros and cons of both will help you make your final decision.
Pros
– Your guests will be interested
The traditional wedding vows have been heard a million times before. Since you will be presenting some fresh material, your guest are likely to listen more intently and hang on your every word.
– The vows will be more personal
If you write your own wedding vows, they’ll come from your heart, from your experiences with your partner, and they’ll be based on your life together thus far. You could also talk about your hopes for the future, and paint a picture that the traditional wedding vows don’t allow.
– You can add anecdotes to make it more special
This is probably the best part about writing your own wedding vows. You’re able to tell stories. These personal anecdotes add a uniqueness to your vows, as no couple has the same stories as you.
Cons
– Public speaking is already difficult as it is
It’s likely you’ll be nervous on the day. You’ll stand in front of all your friends and family, on one of the biggest days of your life, and you’ll have to remember all those things you wrote down. It’s tougher than it looks!
But if you stick with the traditional wedding vows, theres no chance of you stumbling on your words, forgetting what you wrote or losing your place on the page in front of you.
– There is quite a bit of stress that comes with it
While writing you own wedding vows is a very special task to take on, it’s also quite stressful. You want to say all the right things, keep you audience interested, keep it short, be articulate, and the list goes on and on. This can be a lot of pressure.
If it feels too much, opt for the traditional wedding vows.
– You and your partner may have different styles
You and your partner may have vert different styles, and thus your vows may come across as a bit incompatible. Maybe you write a two page long set of vows, and your partner only writes a paragraph. This could be a bit awkward.
Image: Pixabay
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Before you finalise your budget, it’s a good idea to look for costs you may have overlooked. The last thing you want is to overspend or to budget incorrectly and as a result sacrifice something you want!
There are some fees that can sneak up on you and some that you forget to consider. Other times, you may not even realise that certain things have a cost attached to them.
Here are some hidden costs you should consider when wedding planning:
– Marriage Certificate Fee
It is free to get married at Home Affairs and they usually provide you with a hand written, abridged marriage certificate. However, if you require an unabridged marriage certificate, it’ll cost you about R75.
While this is a small fee, it should not be dismissed as insignificant. Remember that every little thing adds up in the end!
– Postage
This is necessary for before and after the wedding. You’ll have to send out save the dates and invitations before and thank you notes after. (Unless, of course, you’re going digital).
Stamps and mailing fees can result in a relatively large fee. This is especially true if cards are oddly shaped or quite large.
– Overtime Fees
Wedding’s are a lot of fun. As a result, it’s common for the party to carry on even after the agreed upon ending time. The venue, DJ or Band, and catering company (which includes waiters and kitchen staff) will charge you extra if your big day goes over schedule.
– Vendor Trials
If you’re testing out floral combinations, this could cost you more than you expect. Sometimes you’ll get the first trial free. Thereafter, however, you’ll have to start paying for the vendors time and efforts. Especially if you change your mind a lot or are having trouble finding exactly what you want.
Often, hair and make-up trials also have fees attached to them. After all, the artists are using their time and equipment.
– Clean-up Costs
We often forget about the post-wedding costs because we’re so caught up in the whirlwind of things that need to be done and paid for before the special day arrives.
Don’t forget that there are clean-up costs involved, and often you’ll have to pay for the taking down of your decorations too.
– Non-exclusive Companies
Some venues come with their own caterers, designers and the like. Other venues work exclusively with specifically chosen vendors. Usually, if a venue has either of these policies and you prefer to choose your own vendors, you’ll have to pay an extra fee.
– Cake Cutting and Corkage
Similar to the point above, many venues have their own chefs or they have an agreement with a cake company. If you bring your own cake along, you’ll be charged extra for the cake to be cut and served to your guests. For this, you usually pay a certain amount per guest.
The same goes for bringing your own wine! If you bring you’re own, you’ll be charged extra for it to be served.
Image: Pixabay
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An anonymous bride was criticised on social platform Reddit for allegedly asking her redhead bridesmaid to colour her hair for the wedding, as it would “clash with the colour cheme,” according to Fox News. The wedding supposedly had a royal blue and green colour scheme.
The bride, reportedly from Australia, posted that she had asked her bridesmaid, Ella -who is also her cousin- to either dye her hair or conceal it with a wig, but Ella refused. In the post, the bride asked people if they thought she was in the wrong. Many users commented saying her request was ‘ridiculous’ and that Ella was right to refuse.
The thread also landed in a Facebook group called That’s It, I’m wedding Shaming, with many members saying the bride is ‘insecure’ and scared that her cousin will steal the attention. “This is 100 percent the cousin being prettier than [the bride] and [the bride] wanting to change the cousin’s appearance to feed her own inferiority complex,” someone commented.
“Absolutely. Think how gorgeous a redhead would look in that colour scheme,” another added.
In the end, though, rumour has it that the two came to an agreement that Ella would keep her natural red hair just the way it is, but have an up-do so as not to come across too strong. Make of that what you will!
Image: Pixabay
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Talk about a slam dunk proposal! This groom wanted to combine his love for basketball and his partner with a creative public proposal, and we definitely think this engagement was on the ball.
Eli Lunzer from New York knew that he wanted his proposal to girlfriend Yosefa Heber to be memorable.
“I knew I had to go big,” Lunzer told The Jewish Week. “I wanted it to be epic and memorable and kind of crazy. I wanted it to be unexpected and I love the Knicks and the Garden.”
He had reached out to Madison Square Garden to plan a proposal but his request was denied. Luckily for him he had a few good contacts who were able to made this dream a reality.
He crafted a plan to have a staring contest between him and his girlfriend during the timeout in the second quarter of the Kicks game in front of 20 000 other basketball fans. A few seconds into the staring contest, Lunzer reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box before going down on one knee to propose.
“I was nervous as hell and I didn’t sleep [the previous] Friday night,” Lunzer said. “I knew she’d say ‘yes’ but didn’t know if she’d agree to the staring contest.”
Luckily she did, and even cried tears of joy when Lunzer proposed. “Even though there were 20,000 people, it felt like it was just the two of us,” she said.
Watch the video below:
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7e72CelX5p/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Feature image: Instagram / Eli Lunzer