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    A South African couple forewent tradition by requesting financial donations to help pay off Rhodes University students’ fee debts instead of wedding gifts when they got married earlier this month.

    James Rycroft and Toni Parsons are both Rhodes alumni. They each received a one-year bursary award from the English Olympiad and both went on to read for a Bachelor of Arts degree with English as a major, which is how they met in 2001.

    “We lost touch after graduating and it was through Facebook that we reconnected. We met again in 2016 through our dear friend Natasha, and got engaged in 2018 in Esizindeni, near Coffee Bay, during our December cross-country road trip,” they said.

    The couple got married in Southbroom on the Kwa-Zulu Natal south coast at the beginning of October 2019.

    The couple spoke to their alma mater to explain that their request for financial aid for students was inspired by a fellow old Rhodian and friend, Natasha Joseph, who has been running an annual call for contributions to clear students’ fee accounts since 2017.

    “Earning a degree is often a key life moment for a young person and we felt strongly about directing our community resources to helping a few young people at the university to graduate,” said James.

    Toni added: “We believe that earning a degree should not be inhibited by your [in]ability to pay. A degree from a quality institution like Rhodes University can lead to serious opportunities when you enter the world of work. The contributions made by our community are intended in that spirit – to help those students who are unable to graduate, not because they did not meet academic standards, but because they were unable to raise the cash.”

    Rhodes University Vice Chancellor, Dr Sizwe Mabizela accepted the couple’s gift and thanked them in a letter with these words.

    “This has impacted me deeply. It proves, once again, the calibre and well-roundedness of our graduates. At a time when young couples would normally and naturally only think of their own comfort and improving their lives, they have both actioned a social purpose and are living proof of our alumni.”

     

    Picture: Rhodes University

    The days leading up to your wedding can be super stressful and the day itself quite emotional. Don’t let the best day of your life be spoiled by feelings of anxiety or exhaustion. Here are some helpful tips on how to keep the joyful experience this special day is meant to be.

    – The week before, take a few minutes each day and write down things you are grateful for. Journaling can be very therapeutic and serve as a reminder of how blessed you are for the people around you. Whether it be the one you’re marrying, the friends and family that support you or this exciting new adventure that lies ahead, jot it down and reflect on it.

    – There’s a saying that goes: “Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.” That’s about as perfect a saying you can get for a wedding. Remember the reason you are getting married: You have found the person you love with all your heart and you want to share it with people that are close to you. So when those little emergencies come, and they will, take a deep breath, smile and let the bridesmaids handle it.

    – Get enough sleep the week before. Make sure you sleep well. Essential oils like lavender and jasmine might help you drift off to dreamland with a smile on your face. You will be quite busy those last few days, but you will want to feel rested and energetic at the wedding.

    – Water is life. Taking a long, tranquil bath or shower the morning of your wedding will let the world’s worries flow away. Light some scented candles and make it your me-time where no one may bother you. Relax and focus on your breathing while soaking in the bubbles.

    – It might sound like a good time to get hammered at the party but in truth, you will regret getting crazy drunk on your wedding and especially being hungover on your honeymoon. Having a good time at this joyous celebration is important, but overdoing it might lead you to make a mess of things. You want to remember your special day with grace for the rest of your life.  

    Image: Unsplash

    Accessories are the final cherry on top of the cake. From jewellery to hair accessories, there are a host of additions that can be made to complete your final bridal look.

    Personalised bridal jackets have been trending for a few years now, most famously worn by Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West.

    Bridal jackets are typically leather or denim jackets adorned with personalised wedding script. Newlyweds wear these jackets on their wedding evening and as a bonus can keep it for decades to come. Another bonus is that it is easily DIY-able.

    Here are a few bridal jackets to inspire you on your big day:

    Crew love:

    Dress your bridal party in matching jackets to show off your squad.


     

    Just married:

    Shout out you newlywed status with these jackets.

     

     

    Wifey:

    You’ve got a new title now, and everyone can read it off your back.


     

    Till death:

    Have a physical reminder of your vows by emblazoning ’til death” on your bridal jacket.

     

     

    Babe:

    Not one for official titles? Go with a cute nickname like ‘babe’.

     

    Wife of the party:

    Remind everyone that it’s your day with a jacket screaming ‘wife of the party’, or ‘bride’.

     

     

    Get sappy:

    Once you’ve found your person, everything falls into place. Let them know how you feel with a jacket with ‘it was always you’ written across it, or let them know you’ve found your happily ever after.

     

     

    Surnames:

    Have your surnames emblazoned on your jackets for a personalised touch.

     

     

    Picture: Instagram / Kim Kardashian

    An American bride’s story has gone viral on social media after she cancelled her wedding but still had her wedding photoshoot. Her story has inspired many and has become an important symbol for choosing your own happiness first.

    Chandley Brelsford from Reno, Nevada, took to Facebook to write a moving message that explains why she cancelled her June 8 wedding. Three weeks before her big day, she realised that she was not happy and that her fiancé was not the right man for her.

    “The man I had fallen in love with was not the man I could call my husband. And it has shaken my character to its very core.” she writes. “The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our marriage would not be peaceful, supportive, and loving and it took 4 years for me to realize that this man was not right for me.”

    When she first began dating her partner, she feel like the most special woman in the world. She viewed the relationship through rose-tinted glasses, ignoring multiple warning signs. She began making many sacrifices and dedicated most of her time to making the relationship work.

    “I started my freshman year of college in Reno, but drove back to Sacramento every weekend to see him. He had told me he wouldn’t do long-distance, so I kept jobs close to his home and worked on the weekends. Every week, I would go to class and finish all my homework in Reno, then drive 2.5 hours over the mountains to work my shifts and see him. I would clean his home and buy our groceries. I would meal prep all our lunches for the week as well as any miscellaneous tasks that he asked of me. He would become very angry if I forgot little things, so I tried my best to do everything to his specifications. I wanted to prove how serious I was.”

    She began walking on eggshells, dedicating every free moment to making sure her partner would not get mad at her. Brelsford also isolated herself from her friends, and gave up many of her dreams to accompany his wishes.

    Their engagement was a happy moment, one she thought would improve things. However, nothing changed.

    “My life was so perfect on the outside, but inside the depression was beginning to consume me.”

    She decided to cancel the wedding after a particularly large fight broke out that took her to a dark place.

    On the date that she was meant to get married, she put on her wedding dress and had her pre-scheduled wedding photoshoot by herself, in a symbol of choosing herself.

    She appears much more happy and confident.
    Credit: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford
    Credit: Facebook
    Instead of saving money for a honeymoon, she is saving money for grad school Credit: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford

    “To all the women out there, no one is worth sacrificing what you hold dear. It doesn’t matter if he is good-looking or willing to spend money on you or promises you the whole world; if he does not show you respect now, then he never will. Love is blind.”

    “Every person is deserving of a love that sets their soul on fire, as well as provides a place to rest when weary. This world is harsh sometimes, so hold onto those who are kind to you. For now, I will be focusing on myself, my goals, my faith, and my family and friends. I might be ready to get married again… some day, but not today.”

    Read her inspiring message here:

    Picture: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford

    Looking to get engaged soon? While there is no specific right time for everyone across the board, research has shown that people tend to get engaged on very particular days of the year.

    If you’re waiting to propose or to be proposed to, one of these dates might be of significance in your future.  These are the most popular days of the year to get engaged.

    Christmas:

    Christmas is one of the most popular Christian holidays of the year, so it makes sense that many people would get engaged on this day. Typically, people spend Christmas with their family, making it a great time for a proposal as everyone can celebrate together when the big question has been asked.

    Valentine’s Day:

    Of course the most romantic day of the year would be a popular time for engagements. Loved-up couples honour Saint Valentine by becoming betrothed on this special holiday. As a day particularly designed for romance, Valentines Day makes it easier to plan an elaborate proposal as your partner would not be suspicious of why you’re planning something.

    Christmas Eve:

    If Christmas is too stressful, Christmas Eve makes a perfect date to get engaged. Some families have a Christmas Eve dinner and exchange gifts then, instead of on Christmas itself. For Christmas lovers, the lead up to this festive event is just as fun and exciting. Because of this, Christmas Eve has become a popular date to get engaged.

     

    New Years Eve:

    The last day of the year makes for a great time for a proposal. People tend to be celebrating New Year’s Eve to usher in the new year, and are typically with their closest friends and family. This special day also provides a host of fun activities like watching fireworks, or going to a party. Those that decide to get engaged on this day thus start the new year on a high note.

     

     New Year’s Day:

    New Year’s Eve might be a bit too chaotic and busy for some people. On New Years Day, many people are reflective of their life and how they want to be better for the year ahead. Many have therefore chosen this day to begin the year with a big life change by getting engaged.

     

    Anniversaries:

    Anniversaries are dedicated days to celebrate your love and how far your relationship has come. Most couples tend to already have plans for their anniversary, and what better way to end it than with a proposal? It’s a great way to honour your love and commitment to one another.

     

    Birthdays:

    Birthdays are special days to honour someone’s life, making it the perfect time for a proposal. A ring makes for a great birthday present!

     

    The Saturday before Valentine’s Day:

    The Valentine’s spirit spreads the weeks before the lovers’ holiday. Considering most restaurants and vendors mark up their prices for Valentine’s Day, proposing the Saturday before the holiday makes for a more cost-effective time to propose while still having Valentine’s romance in the air.

     

    Picture: Unsplash

     

     

     

     

    Weddings have been happening since time immemorial. From the ancient Romans and Greeks to today’s millennials, weddings have stood the test of time as the ultimate symbol of love and commitment for many.

    Many wedding traditions have been around for centuries, and have shaped how we get married. But have you ever wondered where they come from? Turns out, we have Queen Victoria to thank for many modern wedding traditions we use today.

    Queen Victoria has gone down in history as one of the most iconic royal monarchs, and for good reason. She has survived multiple assassination attempts, she proposed to her husband, and is the second longest reigning British monarch after Queen Elizabeth II.

    Her wedding to Prince Albert took place on February 10, 1840, in the Chapel Royal of St. James’s Palace in London. This day became one that would shape modern weddings for a number of reasons.

    A wedding spectacle:

    Royal weddings were traditionally small and private night-time events. However, Queen Victoria had other ideas. She wanted her wedding to be a moment. She had her bridal procession drive through the streets to St. James palace so that thousands of members of the public could see her. This has become a tradition for many betrothed royals since, with their weddings becoming public events observed the world over. No other royal monarch weddings have been held in the evening since. She also had many more wedding guests than the norm, making her wedding a massive event.

    The white wedding dress:

    Up until this wedding, brides traditionally wore coloured wedding gowns. This was mainly for practicality, as they could rewear the dresses and because white is notoriously difficult to keep clean. Royal brides typically had elaborate wedding dresses made in gold or silver fabrics and were highly embellished to show their wealthy status. However, Queen Victoria wanted to be different on her wedding day. She refused the crimson velvet robes of state in favour of a white, lacy gown with an 18ft (5.5m) train. She chose white to enhance the finely detailed Honiton lace on her gown. She also chose this colour to stand out from the crowd and be more visible during the bridal procession, as well as to enhance her purity and innocence. She had the pattern for her dress destroyed after her wedding so that no one else would copy it.

    And thus, the white wedding dress tradition was born. Her wedding gown was reported on all over the world, and spurred on international wedding trends. Initially, wealthier brides emulated her look, but by the 20th century most brides were donning pure white for their wedding day.

    The veil and floral headdress:

    Queen Victoria completed her wedding ensemble with a veil and floral headdress decorated with orange blossoms and myrtle. Orange blossoms were a wedding tradition as they represent fertility and purity. Until her wedding, wedding veils has largely gone out of style in favour of caps and bonnets. However, her decision to don a veil revived the trend for decades to come.

    No guests to wear white:

    Because Queen Victoria wanted her look to stand out, she banned all of her wedding guests from wearing white on the big day. This tradition has since been an unspoken rule at weddings. Today, wearing white to a wedding is considered incredibly disrespectful to the bride.

    The cake:

    Queen Victoria’s wedding cake was a sight. At 300lbs (136kg), 9ft (2.7m) circumference and 16 inches ( 40.6cm) in height, this baked wonder required four men to carry it in. It was decorated with a figure of Britannia, and flanked by cupids, one of which held a book bearing displaying their wedding date. This took the wedding cake to new heights. Today, the look of your wedding cake is just as important as any other aspect of the wedding. Many couples spend a large chunk of their wedding budget on crafting an elaborate wedding cake that makes a statement.

     

    Picture: Roger Fenton / Getty Images

    In a dramatic turn of events, sometimes when you hear the phrase “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” it’s followed by a notable entrance. Someone bursts through the doors just in time, yelling “Don’t marry him!” and the scene then more or less concludes with bouts of tears and the wedding being cancelled. The couple who was actually meant to be together, of course, end up declaring their unending love to one another and ride off into the sunset. Yes, I’m talking about every hopelessly romantic movie ever.

    In real life, though, things don’t always end that dreamy. Objections do happen and in fact, sometimes it’s really, really awkward! Here are some of the worst (or best) stories of objections when people did not hold their peace.

    – At a small and intimate wedding, a man claiming to be the bride’s lover jumped up during the ceremony and started yelling at the groom. He was screaming that he wasn’t going to let him steal his woman, pointing a gun and threatening to shoot him if he didn’t give her up. Reddit user jjett89 attended the wedding and rightly said it felt like an episode of the Jerry Springer show. The guests were screaming and running for cover as the looney lover stole the show.

    – Setting: A vibey, hipster beach wedding in a small town in Canada. The groom waws from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives travelled far and are dressed wildly different from the Canadians. Everyone was loving it.  As the ceremony progresses, everyone was getting teary from the vows. Then the line comes. “Any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now.” The father of the groom gets up, stumbling and making a scene. A collective gasp followed by silence overtakes the scenic venue. Everyone is holding their breath. But he’s just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was high on marijuana. The 70 year old man in a suit, sunglasses and dreadlocks laughs and says “No, I kid, I kid!” and the audience cracks up laughing as he sits back down. What a jokester.

    – During a very prim and proper wedding, a man and says, “Yeah, I object. That’s my wife.” As everyone sits in shock, he claims that they got married at 18, she abandoned him and they never divorced. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and he actually told her that if she didn’t at least get a legal divorce, he would show up at her wedding. She had just ignored him, never answering his calls after leaving him at age 19.  Complete disaster. The wedding was cancelled. The groom married the bride a year later after the divorce went through, in a small private ceremony. And here’s the kicker: two years later she just walked out on him.

    – Here’s one you don’t hear everyday. When the pastor got to the part “or forever hold your peace,” the bride said, “Yes, I’d like to say something.” Then she turned around to her guests and said, “I’d like to thank my maid of honour for sleeping with my fiancé last night.” With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off. The story apparently even made it on the radio at the time.

    – This one does not have much theatrics to it, but the sheer mess of it will leave you stunned. The bride and groom were siblings, and their estranged father hadn’t told them until he objected at the wedding. They already had a child together, says didyouknowfacts.com. Twisted.

     

    Picture: Unsplash

    Wedding dress shopping can be stressful. With so many cuts and styles available, brides can easily become overwhelmed by the options. To make things easier, here’s our wedding gown 101 guide to the most popular wedding dress silhouettes.

     

    Ball gown:

    Also known as princess style, this wedding dress silhouette is characterised by a full skirt, fitted bodice and natural waist. It is the most traditional of the silhouettes, often considered the most romantic and feminine due to its fairytale-esque shape. This cut works well on most body types, especially more straight figures as it creates shape. However, more petite brides might get lost in the fullness of the skirt.

    Famous brides that have worn this look include Mariah Carey, Serena Williams and Diana, Princess of Wales.

     

     

    Mermaid:

    This silhouette is for the daring bride. This curve-hugging cut is fitted to the brides body from the chest to the knees, where it flares out. It works best on brides that want to enhance their curvy shape.

    Kim Kardashian, Melania trump and Khloe Kardashian stunned in this wedding dress style.

     

    A-line:

    While similar to a ballgown, the A-line silhouette skirt is more flowy in style. The fitted bodice flows into the skirt forming an upperclass ‘A’ shape.

    Priyanka Chopra, Duchess Kate Middleton, and Allison Williams have worn this style.

     

     

    Trumpet:

    Also known as fit-and-flare, this style is fitted on the bodice and flares out mid thigh, making it a blend of an A-line and mermaid silhouette. It is typically easier to move around in than a mermaid dress. This style works best on brides wanting to accentuate their waists.

    Beyonce, Ciara, and Michelle Kwan all wore this style on their Big Day.

     

    Empire waist:

    This wedding dress silhouette it fitted and flares out underneath the bust. They are flattering for most body shapes and are comfortable to wear.

    Celebrity brides that have worn this style include Kelly Clarkson and Priscilla Presley.

     

    Drop waist:

    The drop waist silhouette is essentially an A-line gown with a lower waistline. Instead of flowing from the natural waist, drop waist gowns begin to flow from the hips. This style hugs your waist and hips, making it perfect for brides wanting to accentuate these parts of their body.

    Caroline Kennedy and Poppy Delevigne have worn this style for their wedding day.

     

     

    Sheath:

    This classic style features a narrow shape that flows  straight down from the neckline to the hemline. Brides with more athletic or lean builds look best in this style. It also works well on petite brides as the straight lines work to elongate bodies.

    Celebrity brides that have donned this silhouette include Jada Pinkett Smith and Princess Charlene of Monaco.

     

     

    Picture: Unsplash

    A symbol of prosperity, good fortune and fertility, rice has been a staple at weddings for decades in the form of a rice toss. Guests gather outside the venue following the wedding ceremony, awaiting the newlyweds. As the new couple exit the venue, guests shower them with rice to positively usher them into their new lives.

    If you’re not much of a grain person, there are many fun alternatives to the rice toss.

    Here are some unique alternatives to the rice toss:

    Bubbles:

    Flower petals:

    Dried lavender:

    Glow sticks:

    Streamers:

    Confetti:


     

    Sparklers:

    Sprinkles:

    Ring the Bells:

    Feathers:

    Picture: Unsplash

    Themed weddings have grown in popularity over the years. From movies to books to decades, there is no end to the possibilities. But what about holidays? The month of October is spooky season because of the popular holiday Halloween, and some Halloween fans are taking their love for this spooky holiday to the next level.

    If you’re a big Halloween fan, here is some inspiration to throw your own Halloween-themed wedding.

    Fashion:
    Black dresses go well with a Halloween wedding theme. Think black lace and tulle for an edgy yet romantic finish. Princess cuts give a traditional look, but the black fabric still makes it spooky. It’s a perfect juxtaposition for Halloween.

     

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    Decor:
    Decor truly pulls a wedding together. Make use of lots of fabric like mesh, tulle and velvet, as well as candles and dried/dead flowers to create a dark and spooky yet elegant atmosphere. Gold finishes provide an antique look perfect for Halloween. Add fake skulls and dried twigs to complete the look.

     

     

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    Cake:
    Black cakes adorned with Halloween-themed imagery work best for these kinds of weddings. Think skulls, spiderwebs and dead flowers. For an extra touch, choose a red-velvet or black velvet cake.

     

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    Photography:
    As with any wedding, you’ll want some iconic photography to preserve your memories. Props will greatly add to your images. Make use of fake skulls, face paint, pumpkins, candles, mist and smoke bombs to create a spooky atmosphere.

     

     

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    Picture: Pexels