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Do’s And Don’ts

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Every bride and groom attempts to make their wedding day as dreamy as possible. Unfortunately, going all out by having the biggest cake and wedding venue can sometimes feel as though it’s costing you an arm and a leg.

If you’re looking to save money but don’t know where to cut costs, here are a few genius ideas:

One-tiered wedding cakes are the way to go

Picture: Maggie Austin Cakes

When it comes to cake, bigger isn’t always better. More and more couples are ditching the extravagant three-tiered wedding cakes for something simpler. One-tiered desserts can be just as breathing-taking as their bigger counterparts and a smaller display can always be made a bit more eye-catching with a dessert bar.

Who needs a centrepiece?

Picture: Michelle Boyd Photography

No really… who does? Ditch the massive centrepieces and opt for something more demure… budget-friendly bud holders. Make it extra special by choosing a flower that has a special meaning; perhaps the romantic rose or beautiful tulip? No matter which flowers you choose to display, slim bud holders will make this a lot more affordable.

Get fruity…

Picture: Pinterest

If bud holders are just too simple for you, go all out by taking the organic approach. Grab lemons, apples, oranges, or your favourite fruit, and sprinkle them with flower petals. Take things up a notch by adding gold fruit!

Opt for an elegant buffet

Picture: Pinterest

We’ve never heard anyone complain when presented with a delicious and abundant buffet. Opting for a wedding buffet to keep your guests satisfied could help you save money in the long run, including staffing costs.

Take a chance on photography talent

Picture: Pinterest

It’s no secret that wedding photographers can be quite pricey, especially those that have established themselves. A great way to save on costs is to seek out a photographer that’s talented but trying to make a name for themselves. Who knows? You may have the next Annie Leibovitz photographing your wedding.

Invest in a wedding website

Picture: Pinterest

This is a cute and paperless way to let guests know they’re invited to your upcoming nuptials! It’s also a great way to save money with a wedding website costing R1000 – depending on who you choose to create your website. Provide guests with all relevant information in one place, including, wedding details, rehearsal details and RSVP options.

No need for top-shelf liquor 

While there’s nothing with wanting to serve your guests the best liquor out there, sometimes it helps to cut down on costs by cutting down on brand names. Do your guests really need Johnnie Walker Gold.

Feature Image: Jana Williams Photography

Some colours are easy to incorporate in a wedding theme. Colours like white and green, for example can work almost no matter what you do with them. But, if you lean towards the sunnier side of life and love the colour orange, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t use it on your wedding day.

However, there are some key tips to keep in mind to make the colour work best.

Atmosphere

Firstly, you have to decide what atmosphere you want to create. It’s crucial, because this will determine all the pieces you get and the shades and tones you’re going to work with. What is the feel you’re going for? The “vibe”, if you will? Is it low-key and simplistic, or is it extravagant and glamorous? It can be earthy, hipster and natural. Or it can be sunny, joyful and jovial. Decide what you want your decor to say, then everything else will fall in place.

Textures

 

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Next, you need to determine what materials you will use. Plastic is out, for various reasons. Keep it classy, keep it glassy. For a nature-inspired look, go for wood, dried botanicals and coarse fabrics. For a more glamorous approach, think gemstones and bright coloured fresh flowers. Mix up the textures but make sure they are all aligned with your intended atmosphere.

Shades

You’re by no means confined to one shade of orange, but they have to work well together. Play around with samples, mix and match some different tones to see how they will look paired up. If you go rustic, burnt orange, tan and brown-orange will work well, paired with cream and copper table items. If you go vibrant, sunset orange colours will work lovely paired with lighter coloured items like white and gold.

Less is more

It can be easy to get carried away, but you must resist. Because orange is a strong colour, piling on too much of it can be overwhelming. Tone it down for a sleek, sophisticated look and you’re good to go. Simplicity is key, no matter the shades of orange you go for.

Picture: Unsplash

When it comes to planning your big day, you want your closest people by your side to get your through. Things will get crazy, overwhelming and exhausting which is where your A-team step in.

But how do you know who to ask? Who should be your maid of honour and should you even have one? There will most likely be many outside voices telling you what to do, feelings of moral obligation or pressure from your partner around who to include in your bridal party. Take a breath, we’re here to help.

If you have no idea who to ask, consider the following guidelines.

You have the right to choose

It’s your wedding. Not your mother’s,  mother-in-law’s or sister’s wedding. You should be comfortable with the people around you, trust them and be able to rely on them. Choose people you know well, have a close relationship with and that you know carry your happiness at heart.

Your maid/man of honour needs certain qualities

Some traditions dictate that a bride should ask her closest female family member to be the maid of honour, while others firmly believe that it should be your longest-standing friend. While your man/maid of honour might tick both those boxes, the most important thing is that he or she must be your closest friend. They may be a sister, cousin or school friend, but they may also be a recently met colleague, sports mate or even an older person who is a role model and mentor in your life.

That being said, they will need to handle some arrangements, do a lot of planning and be hands-on during the process. As such, they would need to be at least a semi-organised person, live close enough to see you regularly and know you well enough to avoid planning things you would not enjoy.

Your bridal party don’t need to be best friends with each other

The maid of honour and bridesmaids are a group of people who all love you, but they don’t need to love each other. Yes, you want them to have a good time and getting along will be a bonus, but the main thing is that you have the people there that you want. If they really care about you, they will put any potential differences aside and work together as a team to make your dream come true.

You are allowed to exclude people 

This part sounds harsh, but it might be necessary. As with guests, you can’t always have everybody there. Sometimes practicalities just won’t allow it and other times it could be that people expect things of you that are unfair. If it so happens that you and your partner’s sister just don’t see eye to eye, for example, you shouldn’t have to feel pressured to include her in the bridal party. It would probably be a relief to them as much as it is to you, if you don’t ask them.

Remember this is your big day and your happiness counts most.

Picture: Unsplash

As you look through your closet trying to find the perfect dress to wear to a wedding, there are some things that you need to be mindful of.

Never mind the style of your outfit, it is basic etiquette to avoid certain colours.

If you are not sure what those are, here are five colours you should avoid wearing.

White

80% of brides wear white to their wedding, and it’s important that a bride stands out on her special day. You do not want to look like you’re trying to upstage her. Only wear white when the bride has specifically asked guest to.

Glitter (gold or anything metallic) 

If not white, the bride I most likely to wear a champagne-coloured dress, which you won’t know until you see her.

To stay on the safe side, avoid ensembles that are predominantly gold or champagne-colored.

The color the bridesmaids wear

If you can, ask the bride for a heads-up on what color the bridesmaids’ dresses are so you won’t look like the one that wasn’t included.

If you don’t know the bride or any of the bridesmaids, use the wedding invitation as a clue—usually, an invite is designed to match a wedding’s colour palette.

Overly bright colours

Again, this could mean that you want the spotlight to be on you. Imagine rocking up wearing a neon dress. When choosing a bright colour, consider the season and where the wedding is going to be held.

Denim

This colour (fabric) comes across as too casual for a wedding. You can get away with wearing denim if it is a denim jacket as a coverup for a cold-weather event.

Picture: Unsplash

Parenthood doesn’t require DNA and some people already have children, either from a previous relationship or before marriage. When they decide to marry other people and bring their families together, they create a blended family.

Bringing your families together and including them in your big day is a sweet way to honour them. Here are some ways to do it, and make sure no one feels neglected or left out.

Have a unity Ceremony

Unity ceremonies are meaningful rituals performed during your wedding to represent becoming a union and the joining of lives, families and communities. Being highly symbolic, there are multiple ways you can do this, which can be personalised to your new family. One idea is to write meaningful letters to each other and read them out during the ceremony, then put them in a jar to keep as a family symbol.

Give them roles

Another way you can include your blended family is by assigning them roles. From a ring bearer to a flower girl, the possibilities are endless. This is guaranteed to make them feel included in the ceremony and when you are all looking at the wedding album, they will be delighted to see themselves featured and having participated.

Give them gift

Gifting is one of the five universal love languages, it shows the next person that you have thought of them and value them enough to gift them. Give them the same or similar gifts to your biological kids, or get them something they have always wanted.

Presenting something special to your new child/children is a wonderful gesture to symbolise that they are an important part of this new family.

Include them in the planning 

Kids love doing exciting things, to them everything is playtime and by including them in the planning process, you get the chance to bond with them. Let them participate in everything from cake tasting to licking invitation envelopes.

Encourage them to invite a few of their best friends and their family members to the wedding so that they have familiar faces apart from you.

Have a family dance 

After the first dance, invite the kids to come out and join you on the dance floor to their favourite tune. It would be extra fun and special if you practiced a dance prior to the wedding. You can even give them the task of coming up with the steps to our dance routine as the kids of the family.

Picture: Unsplash

After getting engaged, you already know that the next step is getting married and that includes the wedding and its planning. Your date can be chosen based on a number of things like a season, a location, family members, or a special date. However, if you have always dreamt of a specific destination or venue, then your wedding date might depend on the availability of the place.

Specific special dates

Many wedding dates are related to a special day, like each other’s birthday, the day that you met, your favourite restaurant, or the day you got engaged. When you want a specific date, start planning as soon as possible and call venues and vendors you want to hire. Most wedding venues can be booked a year in advance.  You will have peace of mind knowing that you have secured the venue but you need to have a plan B just in case something unforeseen happens.

Choose the season

Start by thinking about your favourite times of the year. Is there is a month or season that you would like to get married in? It is also very important to understand that the time of the year can affect your venue, wedding colours, and theme. Consider the weather, holidays, and commitments you have each month before you choose to host the wedding then.

Indoors or outdoors

When you are going to choose to have a wedding outdoors it is important to consider the season because as a person, you don’t know what the weather will look like. For the bride, think about the type of gown that would be comfortable for the venue, a short-sleeved gown will probably not work for a beach wedding in winter. Research the weather conditions in the location you are planning on getting married in and ask your wedding planner.

Think budget

There are months that are cheaper than others, people buy winter clothes in summer and vice versa. If you are working with a budget then this might be the idea you take and run with. April, September, and December are some of the most popular marriage months, so prices are inevitably higher. You will most like to pay high prices for everything, from venues to decor. Pick an off-peak month, where you’re more likely to get discounted prices and a better selection of venues.

Picture: Unsplash

Music is one of the important parts of your wedding reception, because people come together on the dance floor. It’s the music that truly has the power to make or break the wedding reception so choosing what should be played at your wedding is a big decision to make.

At the end of the day, it comes down to personal preference and costs, so here’s a look at the pros and cons of a live wedding band or DJ.

A live band 

In South Africa, a live band at a private function like a wedding costs roughly R 12 000 to R30 000. Prices vary based on your location and other factors, like the size of the band.

Pros

– Live song requests – people and the couple can ask the band to play their favourite songs

– It is more personal than a DJ

– It appeals to younger and older guests

– You and your guests will experience the pleasure of a live performance

Cons

– The big disadvantage of hiring a band is that they tend to be a tad expensive

– Bands also take up more space than a DJ

– The travelling cost and accommodation might be your responsibility if the band is not local

– A band might have one genre of music throughout

A DJ 

Private function DJs can cost anywhere between R6500 to R12 000, while celebrity DJ prices range from R20 000 to R45 000. Plenty of couples hire a wedding DJ and prefer the diversity of music over a live band.

Pros

– A DJ can play different genres of music to appeal to a larger crowd

– They don’t require much space to set up

– They are usually local unless you want a celeb DJ

Cons

– Your wedding reception lives and dies depending on the DJ

– Since DJ equipment is usually a bit more “techy” it comes with a lot of wires – and sometimes it can look a little messy

– The equipment could crash and that would be the end of music and the vibe it brings

Some people prefer to have both, a DJ and a live band, to cater to everyone. The band is usually reserved for the romantic first dance. If this is the kind of vibe you want, then you should look into the cost of it all.

Pictures: Unsplash

Weddings are (almost) back to normal with the new Level 1 regulations. Venues may be filled to 50% capacity with the cap on outdoor venues at 500 people.  So, unless you live in Buckingham Palace, you shouldn’t have to cut too many from your guest list for a backyard wedding.

Having your wedding in your own garden might be a very attractive option for some for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, you don’t have to budget for venue hire, and you can get any date you choose. Some might also feel safer in terms of COVID-19, as you don’t have to go into a public space.

If you decide to go this route, you have to do it well. Here are our top tips on how to make sure your big day is extra special.

Decide on the number of guests

Firstly, depending on your space, budget and current lockdown regulations, you and your partner will need to decide how many guests you can invite. Backyard weddings tend to be smaller and more intimate, so firstly set out a list of your closest family and friends you want to invite. Remember to count all the vendors and the marriage officer too. All this will help determine how you lay out of the wedding and the rest of your plans.

Consider the weather

Depending on the season in the area you live, you might have to provide some form of cover from wind, rain or sun. Shop around for different styles of marquee tents, tepees, gazebos or even just umbrellas. You wouldn’t want to have everyone slosh around in mud or get heat stroke on your wedding day.

Use available space economically

Decide where you want the ceremony, the ‘waiting area’ and the reception. Of course, it can all be the same spot if you choose, but make sure guests know where you want them. Also be mindful of social distancing for your own and your guests’ safety. Place families together at dining tables and place seats at the reception far apart. Names on seats and tables are an easy way to guide everyone.

Match your decor to what you already have 

If your garden is the setting, you can work with what you have and just add subtle extras to complement existing beauty. Take note of the plants growing in your garden and match your colour scheme to that. Also try to use functional items doubly as decor. For example, if you have an arch at the ceremony, why not make it double as a photo booth at the reception? If you have a gifts table, ask your bridal parties to move the gifts indoors before the reception and convert that table into the drinks station.

Images: Pinterest

Featured Images: Pexels

A newly married couple have been criticised for their ‘tasteless’ actions after they shared pictures from their recent wedding day.

In the images the bride and groom, wearing old-fashioned plague masks, hold hands as their guests lay strewn around them as if they were dead. The images were captioned,  “For all the COVID brides! Don’t let it overshadow your fun!”

The post was shared to Reddit, where users quickly admonished the couple and accused them of being offensive in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Of all the heartless and tacky things I’ve see lately on the sub, this one takes the wedding cake. This is absolutely disgusting, tasteless, and just sick,” wrote on Reddit user.

“This is akin to having a wedding at the Auschwitz museum and being like, “lol, dead people!”. It’s not a joke, real people have died. People that were loved ones, real daughters and father’s who’s death devastated families. This isn’t a damn joke,” commented another.

Feature image: Pexels

It’s always tough to see an ex move on and find a new love. However, it’s a whole different can of worms if that ex found their partner while you were still together. This is exactly what happened to Nikyta Moreno, who accidentally discovered her ex-husband had cheated on her.

Unfortunately, Moreno did not find this unsettling news out privately. She put two and two together when reading an article in the New York Times’ Wedding section, where her ex and his new wife had announced their recent nuptials.

The article, originally published on August 7, detailed how her ex-husband Robert Palmer met and fell in love with Lauren Maillian. It was a very sweet story of love in the face of adversity, and Palmer even calls his new wife “the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is the most meaningful, deep connection I’ve ever had.”

A beautiful story, except it had one false detail: it claimed that Palmer had never been married before.

Moreno didn’t take this lying down. Instead, she wrote her own article for the New York Post to set the record straight.

“According to the (New York Times) article, the couple, Rob and Lauren, started their relationship in January 2017. It also said that he had never been married. That was news to me — because I was his wife in January 2017,” Moreno wrote in her article. “We split in late March of that year, officially divorcing in January 2018, and I never exactly understood why. Until I read about it in the Times.

“He was publicly admitting that he dated this woman while we were married — the details of his infidelity laid out on the page. When I put their presentation next to the truth, it was like one of those ­reality-versus-Instagram memes come to life.”

“He was my best friend, and my whole life was destroyed,” she wrote. “But I knew something else was wrong. I suspected he had cheated on me, but when I confronted him about it, he never quite answered me.”

Despite all of this, Moreno ended her article saying she wishes him and his new wife all the best.

The article went viral as soon as it was published, and readers quickly took Moreno’s side. Palmer eventually released a statement, telling CNN: “Nikyta and I were separated and both consented to a mutual and amicable divorce. This is all very surprising to me and I was unaware that there was ever an issue. I’m happy with my family and I wish Nikyta the best.”

Picture: Pexels