We live in a culture that values “experiences”. These are often promoted in the media, and by those selling them, as vital to enhancing our well-being.
We all know big life events like marriage, parenthood, job loss and the death of loved one can affect our well-being. But by how much and for how long?
We set out to measure the effect of major life events – 18 in total – on well-being. To do so we used a sample of about 14,000 Australian adults tracked over 16 years. Some of our results were expected. Others were surprising.
Overall, our results show good events like marriage improved some aspects of well-being, but bad events like health shocks had larger negative effects. For good and bad events, changes in well-being were temporary, usually disappearing by 3-4 years.
Here are some of our most interesting findings.
Happiness versus life satisfaction
Our study distinguished two different aspects of well-being: “happiness” and “life satisfaction”. Researchers often treat these as the same thing, but they are different.
Happiness is the positive aspect of our emotions. People’s self-reported happiness tends to be fairly stable in adulthood. It follows what psychologists call “set point theory” – people have a “normal” level of happiness to which they usually return over the long run.
Life satisfaction is driven more by one’s sense of accomplishment in life. A person can be satisfied, for example, because they have a good job and healthy family but still be unhappy.
Life events often affect happiness and life satisfaction in the same direction: things that make you happier tend to also improve your life satisfaction. But not always, and the size of the effects frequently differ.

In the case of having a child, the contrast is stark. Right after the birth, parents are more satisfied but less happy, possibly reflecting the demands of caring for a newborn (eg. sleep deprivation).
Changes are temporary
After almost all events (both good and bad), well-being tends to return to a personal set point. This process is known as the hedonic treadmill – as people adapt to their new circumstances, well-being returns to baseline. This has been found in other studies as well.
The good news is that even after very bad events, most people seem to eventually return to their set-point well-being level. Even after an extremely bad event such as the death of a spouse, people’s well-being generally recovers in two to three years. This doesn’t mean they don’t carry pain from the experience, but it does mean they can feel happy again.

Bad events affect us more
The detrimental effects of bad events on well-being outweigh the positive effect of good events. Negative effects also last longer. This is partly because most people are happy and satisfied in general, so there is more “room” to feel worse than better. In fact, we can’t confidently say there is any positive cumulative effect of good events on happiness at all. However, marriage, retirement, childbirth and financial gains all temporarily improve overall life satisfaction.
Our finding that “losses” hurt more than “gains” mirrors decades of behavioural economics research showing people are generally “loss averse” – going to more effort to avoid losses than to chase gains.
The bad events that have the largest total effects are death of a spouse or child, financial loss, injury, illness and separation.

Small, fleeting effects
Starting a new job, getting promoted, being fired and moving house are events that people often fixate on as either stressful or to be celebrated. But, on average, these don’t seem to affect well-being that much. Their effects are comparatively very small and generally fleeting.
This could be because of differences in the nature of these events for different people, or that they frequently occur. For example, being fired can be devastating. But for someone close to retirement who receives a large redundancy payment and moves to the coast, it might be a positive experience.
An important caveat to our study is that it reflects the average experiences of people. There are likely to be some people who experience long-lasting improvements in well-being after good events. There will also be people who experience sustained decreased well-being after bad events. In future work we hope to identify these different people and isolate the characteristics that predict what responses to different events will look like.
The things that matter
Our results caution against chasing happiness through positive experiences alone. The impact, if any, seems small and fleeting, as the hedonic treadmill drags us back to our own well-being set point.
Instead, we might do better by focusing on the things that protect us against feeling devastated by bad events. The most important factors are strong relationships, good health and managing exposure to financial losses.
In 2020 we might also take consolation from the fact that, although it will take time, our well-being can recover from even the worst circumstances.
We humans are a resilient bunch.
This article is written by Nathan Kettlewell, Chancellor’s Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Economics Discipline Group, University of Technology Sydney; Nick Glozier, Professor of Psychological Medicine, BMRI & Disciplne of Psychiatry, University of Sydney, and Richard Morris, Research scientist, University of Sydney
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Picture: Shutterstock
As we bid 2020 goodbye and ring in 2021, with no end in sight yet to the Covid-19 pandemic that has forever changed our world, it’s worth taking…
Your wedding decor can make or break your overall theme. However, you don’t need to go bankrupt to make a statement.
There are so many household items that just need some dressing up, and they will look spectacular on your wedding table. Think bottles, mirrors and candles. They key is to add variety with different heights and shapes.
Spraypaint your items to match your colour scheme, and add fairy lights for a romantic touch. The possibilities are endless.
Here are some ideas to inspire you:










Picture: Pexels
What began as a simple COVID-19 vaccination ended as a sweet marriage proposal for this healthcare couple. Robbie Vargas-Cortes (31) who works as a paramedic and EMS supervisor,…
Food Network star Ina Garten, also known as the Barefoot Contessa, and husband Jeffrey are celebrating a momentous 52 years of marriage.
Taking to social media, Garten shared a sweet throwback of the couple on their wedding day to honour the occasion.
“Fifty-two years and still having so much fun! You gave me a life I could never have dreamed of. Happy Anniversary my love. (What’s up with that cake??)”
View this post on Instagram
The pair met in 1964, when Ina was visiting her brother at Dartmouth University, which they all attended. Jeffrey marvelled at her beauty from the library window, telling a friend “Look at that girl, isn’t she beautiful?”
Funnily enough, the friend knew Ina as she was the younger sister of a friend who actually had a date with her that very night. Luckily, that date did not lead to anything more and Jeffery jumped at his chance to start something. He began writing Ina letters in the hopes they would meet one day.
Months later, the pair finally met up for their first date. Afterwards, Jeffrey continued to write to Ina almost daily.
Ina and Jeffrey tied the knot in 1968 when she was 20 and he 22. They married at her parents’ home in Connecticut.
View this post on Instagram
Since then, Jeffrey has been a major support as Garten’s culinary career blew up with her Food Network show. He often features in episodes, and has become a welcome addition to the show for many fans.
Picture: Instagram / Ina Garten
Retired tennis star Maria Sharapova has some exciting news. The former athlete recently announced her engagement to British businessman Alexander Gilkes, after two years of dating. Taking to…
“I do”, said the bride to her laptop. No, this isn’t a dystopian telling of our future in which robots are our new partners, it’s a reality for many separated by thousands of kilometres amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
Amid the pandemic, some couples forced apart are still going ahead with their wedding day, albeit in a much less traditional format. If you thought Zoom weddings were novel, wait till you hear about double proxy weddings, the hot new trend in 2020.
A proxy wedding or proxy marriage is a wedding in which one or both of the individuals getting married are not physically present for the nuptials, and are represented by other people standing in for them. A double proxy wedding is when both partners are physically absent and two other people stand in for them.
This is legally permissible under certain circumstance in some parts of the world, like if one partner is enrolled in military service, imprisoned or due to travel restrictions. Importantly, this marriage is not legally recognised by most countries as common law requires both parties to be present.
Marriage by proxy was very common among nobility centuries ago. Marie Antoinette married Louis-Auguste by proxy in 1770 and French emperor Napoleon married Archduchess Marie Louise by proxy in 1810. This service became even more popular in the early 1900s in America during the war efforts.
In 2020, it has seen a resurgence thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic. The New York Times writes of Randy Nuñez and Sasha Nuñez-Carvalho, who married via double proxy in October while he was quarantining in San Diego and she was deployed in the Navy in Europe.
Proxy marriage is legal in the state of Montana and several other American states, all the couple has to do is sign their right-of-attorney over to two stand-ins who them get married for them and sign the marriage licence on their behalf with an officiant present.
The couple who stood in for the Nuñez’s, Chris and April Coen actually specialise in double proxy marriages. For $675 (about R9910), the Coens will stand in for couples wanting to to tie knot. In fact, business has grown by 400% amid the pandemic and by the end of 2020 alone they would have performed about 2500 double proxy marriages.
Picture: Pexels