Modern couples are increasingly looking for new ways to add a little “spice” in the bedroom, but it may not be in the way you think.
Couples choosing to sleep apart has become a rather common practice with studies backing the growing trend and according to sleep scientists, 1 in 4 couples are opting to sleep in separate beds.
While more and more couples are enjoying the covers all to themselves, there’s still a certain level of stigma attached to this choice, however, it’s nothing new. The wealthy have been doing it for decades and you only need to pop on an episode of Netflix’s The Crown and check out the sleeping arrangements of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip to find examples of this.
One newlywed couple recently went viral for sharing their out-of-the-ordinary sleeping arrangements. Hailing from the United Kingdom, Nelly and Andrew Grecian claim that sleeping separately has benefitted their relationship as they often feel refreshed and revitalised when they wake up in the morning.
But while some couples are reaping the benefits, just what does science have to say about it?
When sleep is measured objectively, people will actually sleep worse with a partner. This makes sense when you consider that having a partner who snores is basically a recipe for a disruptive night’s rest. However, when asked whether you’d prefer to sleep with your partner in the same bed, you’d likely answer “yes.”
According to scientists, this suggests that our social brain prioritises a need for closeness and security at night, even when traded in for a good night’s rest. However, no matter your sleeping preferences, couples need to prioritise sleep when it comes to their relationship.
A rather interesting study found that when the sleep and relationship quality of heterosexual couples were analysed, it found that when male subjects slept worse, they often reported their relationship quality suffered the next day. In contrast to this, on days when female subjects were not happy about their relationship, both her sleep and her husband’s sleep suffered that night.
Wendy M. Troxel PhD, a senior behavioural and social scientist and the woman behind “How to sleep like your relationship depends on it,” reiterates this. But what’s her conclusion on the matter?
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to couples and their sleeping strategies, but couples will need to learn the art of prioritising sleep for the betterment of their relationship and lives. After all, sleep occupies around one-third of our lives with research indicating that when you’re well-rested, you’re a better communicator, happier, more empathetic, and more attractive.
Feature Image: Pexels
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The first year of marriage is always marital bliss, especially when you have heaps of debt behind your name. While there’s nothing wrong with dreaming up the perfect wedding – bells and whistles included – walking down the aisle doesn’t have to mean walking straight into wedding debt.
Overspending on your wedding day may just cancel out the marital bliss everyone enthusiastically talks about. According to a 2019 study by LendingTree concluded that 45% of newlyweds between the ages of 18 and 53 went into debt to pay for the wedding. And with many South African couples paying between R80 000 – R120 000, as per Standard Bank, it’s no surprise why.
While getting married can be an expensive business, sometimes it helps to stop and think before making a big purchase on Kim Kardashian-esque flower wall.
Trade debt for memories
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the tasks and balance sheets of planning a wedding, but it’s important to remember why everyone is really attending your wedding – love. The food, DJ, wedding photographer, and signature drink are just the cherry on top of your love and commitment cake, and it’s important to keep this at the centre of your planning.
Get on the same page
According to the same 2019 study, nearly 76% of newlyweds who reported they went into debt also stated they argued over wedding-related expenses. The remedy? Bridal couples need to get on the same page when determining what they’re spending their hard-earned cash on. Creating a wedding budget and discussing expense details are two ways for avid debt collectors. If you’re looking to splurge on an open bar, make sure you’re both comfortable with how long it will be “open,” what liquor will be available, and what the total will come to.
Stick to your boundaries
We’ve all heard the phrase: “keeping up with the Joneses,” but sometimes it’s okay to watch them cruise on by. Planning a wedding can feel overwhelming which can easily lead to bridal couples listening to the opinions of others. A great way to avoid being swayed by friends and family members and what they’d like to see at your wedding is by writing down a list of wedding priorities that are important to you and your partner. Consider what is “worth-it” and what is “non-negotiable,” this will provide you with a better foundation with which to smile and say “no, thank you.”
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There are plenty of things couples worry will spoil their wedding day. Uncooperative weather, a guest who enjoys the bar tab a little too much, or worst of all – another couple getting engaged on the same day.
However, while most of these worries never come to be, sometimes an unexpected spoil emerges thanks to a wedding grinch.
Such was the case for an American couple. Taking to TikTok, bride Brandy told the story with footage of her husband, Billy, who began acting strangely and couldn’t even say his vows coherently.
It turned out that the groom’s drink had been spiked, causing massive discomfort, confusion and an unhealthy racing heart for him. Brandy claims that he was spiked with crushed Adderal.
His symptoms included sweating, being red in the face, emotional ups and downs and being unable to form words as well as anger, confusion and memory loss according to Brandy. She says that he was drug tested and that this kind of thing happens at weddings so that people can have more duration to party longer.
The video quickly went viral (reaching almost 1 million views) on the video-sharing app, and soon TikTok users were ready to fight the culprit. Brandy had shared the video with the intention to help prevent the same thing from happening to anyone else.
“Our poor kids were traumatized by the experience. Billy doesn’t remember anything after I walked down,” said Brandy.
In the comments, many people demanded that the couple have a redo, with some wondering whether the newly-weds could sue for the entire wedding cost. Others suggested that they renew their wedding vows the following year, so that Billy could remember the special day – with the costs coming out of the culprit’s pocket.
Picture: Screenshot from video/@brandy_billy
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Western Cape brides, can we have your attention! Finding your wedding day inspiration can be as easy as scrolling through Pinterest or meandering through your favorite bridal fair.
Each year, hundreds of bridal couples flock to the Cape Winelands Bridal Fair to soak up the ambience of the renowned and exclusive Winelands Bridal Fair.
This year is no different with service provides and products from across the Cape available for brides and grooms to peruse through. It’s also a great spot for those looking to speak to various experts needed to plan your big day and make it a success.
Live music, wedding dress designs, and a win-4-your wedding lucky draw!
Interested? Make sure you grab your tickets via Webtickets or when you enter the expo.
- Cost: R100 per person
- Date: 30 – 31 July; 09:00 – 16:00
- Location: Klein Joostenberg. R304 Muldersvlei, Stellenbosch
Feature Image: Dear Heart Photos / Instagram