The first year of marriage is always marital bliss, especially when you have heaps of debt behind your name. While there’s nothing wrong with dreaming up the perfect wedding – bells and whistles included – walking down the aisle doesn’t have to mean walking straight into wedding debt.
Overspending on your wedding day may just cancel out the marital bliss everyone enthusiastically talks about. According to a 2019 study by LendingTree concluded that 45% of newlyweds between the ages of 18 and 53 went into debt to pay for the wedding. And with many South African couples paying between R80 000 – R120 000, as per Standard Bank, it’s no surprise why.
While getting married can be an expensive business, sometimes it helps to stop and think before making a big purchase on Kim Kardashian-esque flower wall.
Trade debt for memories
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the tasks and balance sheets of planning a wedding, but it’s important to remember why everyone is really attending your wedding – love. The food, DJ, wedding photographer, and signature drink are just the cherry on top of your love and commitment cake, and it’s important to keep this at the centre of your planning.
Get on the same page
According to the same 2019 study, nearly 76% of newlyweds who reported they went into debt also stated they argued over wedding-related expenses. The remedy? Bridal couples need to get on the same page when determining what they’re spending their hard-earned cash on. Creating a wedding budget and discussing expense details are two ways for avid debt collectors. If you’re looking to splurge on an open bar, make sure you’re both comfortable with how long it will be “open,” what liquor will be available, and what the total will come to.
Stick to your boundaries
We’ve all heard the phrase: “keeping up with the Joneses,” but sometimes it’s okay to watch them cruise on by. Planning a wedding can feel overwhelming which can easily lead to bridal couples listening to the opinions of others. A great way to avoid being swayed by friends and family members and what they’d like to see at your wedding is by writing down a list of wedding priorities that are important to you and your partner. Consider what is “worth-it” and what is “non-negotiable,” this will provide you with a better foundation with which to smile and say “no, thank you.”
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5 Breathtaking allergy-friendly florals to add to your wedding!
Feature Image: Pinterest
Not one for the club scene? That’s perfectly acceptable. With all the stress of wedding planning, a nice relaxing weekend with your best girls is a great way…
South African content creator and entrepreneur Nadia Jaftha announced her engagement on the morning of 1 December, sharing a moment that immediately lit up social media with excitement and support.
Jaftha is known for keeping her personal life intentionally private, so for many followers, news of her relationship — and now engagement — to Reece Meyer came as a genuine surprise. The reveal, however, was met with an outpouring of joy, with fans celebrating a milestone they hadn’t anticipated but wholeheartedly embraced.
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Nadia and Reece are long-time collaborators, working together as co-founders of ACE Labs and co-owners of The Smile Bar.
A heartfelt congratulations to Nadia and Reece as they begin this new chapter together.
ALSO SEE: The pocket guide for announcing your engagement on social media
The pocket guide for announcing your engagement on social media
Featured image: Nadia Jaftha/Instagram
If you’ve had waking nightmares about sneezing our way down the aisle, then don’t worry! While flowers smell and look beautiful, for some, pollen allergies will force you…
In the past, premarital counselling was mainly carried out in religious institutions. These days, however, it has become more popular with non-religious couples too. Couples go to seek guidance and advice in the hopes of preventing divorce.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship — giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage”. They add that the sessions will assist you in identifying weaknesses that could result in trouble for you as a couple further down the road.
What to expect from premarital counselling:
The counselling is usually carried out by a licensed therapist. You’ll sit in the therapists office with your partner by your side discussing a variety of topics related to marriage. Some of these topics include: Money, quality time together, sex, roles in marriage, children, extended family, beliefs and values, and goals.
Some therapists may have you fill out questionnaires separately. The questionnaire will have you answer questions about each other. Thereafter, the therapist will help you to work through the results together.
Benefits of premarital counselling:
– Helps guide the conversation
Discussing heavy topics such as religion, sex, or kids, can result in both partners getting emotional and therefore losing focus of the topic at hand. A counsellor will help to guide the conversation. They also ensure you don’t get angry or misinterpret each other.
– Teaches communication
An important thing to know is that different people respond in different ways to tones and speech patterns. You must be aware of how your partner needs to be spoken to, in order to feel understood, supported, and heard. Premarital counselling also teaches you how to communicate in a healthy and productive way.
– Helps you prepare for your future together
You will be made aware of which expectations are realistic and which are not. You will also get an idea of your timing and goals as a couple, for example when you both want to have kids, or when you want to move to a bigger house. Additionally, your anxieties and fears will be lessened as a result of how well counselling demystifies marriage. It also ensure’s that you avoid many potential conflicts in the future.
– You’ll learn more about yourself and your partner
Often, counselling is an eye opening experience. You discover things about yourself you’ve never known because the mental health professional is guiding you towards these realisations. When you and your partner have these experiences together, it also becomes a sort of bonding experience.
Tips for successful premarital counselling:
– Know that it will be tough
You’ll be dealing with very touchy subjects. Be sure to be as open as you can and don’t be scared to be vulnerable. Most importantly, don’t give up because it’s uncomfortable! Remember that in the end, this will only grow and strengthen your relationship.
– Don’t say what you think they want to hear
Avoid saying things that downplay your emotions or opinions, don’t answer in a way that you think is correct (there are no right or wrong answers). You should also avoid saying things just because it makes you seem more compatible with your significant other. If you do that, there will be no real progress.
– It’s not a competition
There is no winner or loser, and there should be no “I told you so” at the end of the session.
Be open to listening and accepting that you are both capable of being better.
ALSO SEE: The pocket guide for announcing your engagement on social media
The pocket guide for announcing your engagement on social media
Image: Pexels
Who wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle with their furriest four-legged friend by their side? Clad in the cutest black and white tuxedo, and sporting the wettest…
In the digital era, making announcements for any occasion is pretty common. You know your friend from high school has declared a certain breakfast spot ‘utterly ideal’, your co-worker’s announcement of their newest plant-child, and your younger sibling’s every move.
However, there are some announcements that still remain somewhat sacred in the land of social media, and your wedding or engagement announcement sits at the top of the tree.
So, how do you do it ‘right?’ As in, how do you not come off as obnoxious, or how do you meander coming across a little too nonchalant (to the point where people might wonder if you’re even excited?)
Do you go for the flashy carousal post where everyone gets to see the entire story – from the spot you thought you were simply having dinner at to the ultimate star on your finger, or do you play it lowkey and post a snippet of the magic?
Here are some tips to keep in your back pocket on how to announce your special news on social media:
1. Make sure those closest to your heart about it before you go live on socials:
The last thing you want to rain on your engagement parade is an unhappy friend or family member. Before you break the internet, make sure you tell those closest to your heart first, and especially those who will certainly see it on social media first.
2. Use photos that are meaningful to you, or do a shoot
Not everyone grabs perfect photos from their engagement moment. Your nails might not be on point, your partner may be wearing the same outfit as in your last post, or all the photos are blurry. Now, you may be part of a pretty funky couple that sees these as part of their own chill aesthetic, and if that sounds like your relationship then go for it in posting. Instagram especially is long past its curated look, with photo-dumps showing more organic life ruling the roost. However, if you really want to go the full 9-yards and have a little shoot (either professionally or at the trust hands of your phone camera on timer) then that’s amazing too. The bottom line here is to use photos that are meaningful to your relationship – not glossy photos that aren’t you or your partner, or an obscure ring that isn’t even yours found on the Internet.
3. Use a caption that speaks to your relationship and your audience simultaneously
It’s a special announcement and so no matter which platform you’re using (par Twitter) a longer caption is more than allowed. However, you can also keep it short and sweet by using a quote from a song, film or book that says it all. You can even stick to the same emoji you have next to your partner’s name on your phone if you want, but the key focus here is using a caption that again, is special to your relationship and won’t be uncomfortable for your audience. Ie: Telling your audience that you’re better than everyone else because you won’t die alone is probably not a good way to announce your special news.
4. Make a story highlight for the build-up to the big day, not necessarily separate posts
We know you’re excited, and most of your close friends and followers will be too! However, that doesn’t mean that everyone expects or wants a daily update on what you’re doing for the wedding. If you do want to document the big build up, all the cake flavours you tried and wedding locations you scouted, put them on your stories (either Facebook or Instagram) and compile them in a highlight. The bonus of collecting all these moments is that you’ll have a whole trailer before the wedding, and it could also make an incredible TikTok.
ALSO SEE: Everything You Need To Know About Planning An Engagement Party
Everything You Need To Know About Planning An Engagement Party
Feature image: Pexels