A South African couple forewent tradition by requesting financial donations to help pay off Rhodes University students’ fee debts instead of wedding gifts when they got married earlier this month.
James Rycroft and Toni Parsons are both Rhodes alumni. They each received a one-year bursary award from the English Olympiad and both went on to read for a Bachelor of Arts degree with English as a major, which is how they met in 2001.
“We lost touch after graduating and it was through Facebook that we reconnected. We met again in 2016 through our dear friend Natasha, and got engaged in 2018 in Esizindeni, near Coffee Bay, during our December cross-country road trip,” they said.
The couple got married in Southbroom on the Kwa-Zulu Natal south coast at the beginning of October 2019.
The couple spoke to their alma mater to explain that their request for financial aid for students was inspired by a fellow old Rhodian and friend, Natasha Joseph, who has been running an annual call for contributions to clear students’ fee accounts since 2017.
“Earning a degree is often a key life moment for a young person and we felt strongly about directing our community resources to helping a few young people at the university to graduate,” said James.
Toni added: “We believe that earning a degree should not be inhibited by your [in]ability to pay. A degree from a quality institution like Rhodes University can lead to serious opportunities when you enter the world of work. The contributions made by our community are intended in that spirit – to help those students who are unable to graduate, not because they did not meet academic standards, but because they were unable to raise the cash.”
Rhodes University Vice Chancellor, Dr Sizwe Mabizela accepted the couple’s gift and thanked them in a letter with these words.
“This has impacted me deeply. It proves, once again, the calibre and well-roundedness of our graduates. At a time when young couples would normally and naturally only think of their own comfort and improving their lives, they have both actioned a social purpose and are living proof of our alumni.”
Picture: Rhodes University
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A bride’s bouquet has sentimental value and so it is not surprising that many brides want to keep it. Preserving your bouquet is a beautiful way to create a reminder of your wedding day and add some decor to your home at the same time.
If you’d like to have a personal keepsake from your wedding that is different to the norm, take a look at these 3 ways to preserve your bouquet.
Air dry your bouquet
This is the most simple and traditional way to preserve your bouquet as it was on your wedding day, but it will take the longest.
All you have to do is take your entire bouquet, or just the flowers that you’d like to keep and tie it together very tightly with a rope or string of your choice – twine will work very well. Once you are sure that the bouquet is tied tightly and securely, hang the whole bunch upside down in a warm and dry area, like a cupboard. A darker space will preserve the colour and scent of the flowers, although the colour will be slightly muted, better than a space that allows light in, which will cause the colours to turn into shades that look vintage. Leave the bouquet to dry for a few weeks and then take it down once all the flowers are completely dry.
Now that you have your dried bouquet, you can do with it as you wish. A nice idea to display the bouquet is to place it in a vase of your choice and cover it with a large glass dome or a perspex case.
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Press the flowers
This is probably the most affordable option when it comes to preserving your bouquet but it will involve you creating a new piece from the flowers from your bouquet.
Choose the flowers that you’d like to preserve and cut about 1-2cm off and spread them out on one or multiple sheets of baking paper, depending on how many flowers you are wanting to press. Place the sheet with the flowers on the inside of a heavy book and add another layer of baking paper on top, then close the book and place another heavy object on top to weigh it down. Leave the flowers there for one to two weeks. Once the flowers are dry and flat, be careful when you start to arrange them as they are very delicate.
Most people create a frame display of the flowers by putting them into an empty photo frame and then hanging it on the wall as decor. Now every time you walk past it you will be reminded of your special day.
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Use epoxy resin
With this preservation technique, you will be able to show off your flowers to their full effect as the shape of the flowers will remain the same.
Choose flowers with tight petals from your bouquet and hang them to dry. If you do not allow them to dry properly before setting them in epoxy, they may begin to decay once they have been set. Then cover your work area with newspaper and make sure you wear gloves when you work because epoxy sticks to everything. Choose a mould in your desired shape and make sure that you have enough epoxy resin to cover the flowers as well as create your desired shape. Fill your mold halfway with the epoxy resin mixture and delicately arrange the flowers within that. Then fill in the rest of the mold with the mixture and leave to dry.
After you take the mold off, you will have a stunning decoration, or a few if you do this multiple times, that you can place all over your home and have constant reminders of your wedding.
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Feature image: Pixabay
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An American bride’s story has gone viral on social media after she cancelled her wedding but still had her wedding photoshoot. Her story has inspired many and has become an important symbol for choosing your own happiness first.
Chandley Brelsford from Reno, Nevada, took to Facebook to write a moving message that explains why she cancelled her June 8 wedding. Three weeks before her big day, she realised that she was not happy and that her fiancé was not the right man for her.
“The man I had fallen in love with was not the man I could call my husband. And it has shaken my character to its very core.” she writes. “The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our marriage would not be peaceful, supportive, and loving and it took 4 years for me to realize that this man was not right for me.”
When she first began dating her partner, she feel like the most special woman in the world. She viewed the relationship through rose-tinted glasses, ignoring multiple warning signs. She began making many sacrifices and dedicated most of her time to making the relationship work.
“I started my freshman year of college in Reno, but drove back to Sacramento every weekend to see him. He had told me he wouldn’t do long-distance, so I kept jobs close to his home and worked on the weekends. Every week, I would go to class and finish all my homework in Reno, then drive 2.5 hours over the mountains to work my shifts and see him. I would clean his home and buy our groceries. I would meal prep all our lunches for the week as well as any miscellaneous tasks that he asked of me. He would become very angry if I forgot little things, so I tried my best to do everything to his specifications. I wanted to prove how serious I was.”
She began walking on eggshells, dedicating every free moment to making sure her partner would not get mad at her. Brelsford also isolated herself from her friends, and gave up many of her dreams to accompany his wishes.
Their engagement was a happy moment, one she thought would improve things. However, nothing changed.
“My life was so perfect on the outside, but inside the depression was beginning to consume me.”
She decided to cancel the wedding after a particularly large fight broke out that took her to a dark place.
On the date that she was meant to get married, she put on her wedding dress and had her pre-scheduled wedding photoshoot by herself, in a symbol of choosing herself.
Credit: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford
“To all the women out there, no one is worth sacrificing what you hold dear. It doesn’t matter if he is good-looking or willing to spend money on you or promises you the whole world; if he does not show you respect now, then he never will. Love is blind.”
“Every person is deserving of a love that sets their soul on fire, as well as provides a place to rest when weary. This world is harsh sometimes, so hold onto those who are kind to you. For now, I will be focusing on myself, my goals, my faith, and my family and friends. I might be ready to get married again… some day, but not today.”
Read her inspiring message here:
Picture: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford
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In a dramatic turn of events, sometimes when you hear the phrase “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” it’s followed by a notable entrance. Someone bursts through the doors just in time, yelling “Don’t marry him!” and the scene then more or less concludes with bouts of tears and the wedding being cancelled. The couple who was actually meant to be together, of course, end up declaring their unending love to one another and ride off into the sunset. Yes, I’m talking about every hopelessly romantic movie ever.
In real life, though, things don’t always end that dreamy. Objections do happen and in fact, sometimes it’s really, really awkward! Here are some of the worst (or best) stories of objections when people did not hold their peace.
– At a small and intimate wedding, a man claiming to be the bride’s lover jumped up during the ceremony and started yelling at the groom. He was screaming that he wasn’t going to let him steal his woman, pointing a gun and threatening to shoot him if he didn’t give her up. Reddit user jjett89 attended the wedding and rightly said it felt like an episode of the Jerry Springer show. The guests were screaming and running for cover as the looney lover stole the show.
– Setting: A vibey, hipster beach wedding in a small town in Canada. The groom waws from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives travelled far and are dressed wildly different from the Canadians. Everyone was loving it. As the ceremony progresses, everyone was getting teary from the vows. Then the line comes. “Any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now.” The father of the groom gets up, stumbling and making a scene. A collective gasp followed by silence overtakes the scenic venue. Everyone is holding their breath. But he’s just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was high on marijuana. The 70 year old man in a suit, sunglasses and dreadlocks laughs and says “No, I kid, I kid!” and the audience cracks up laughing as he sits back down. What a jokester.
– During a very prim and proper wedding, a man and says, “Yeah, I object. That’s my wife.” As everyone sits in shock, he claims that they got married at 18, she abandoned him and they never divorced. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and he actually told her that if she didn’t at least get a legal divorce, he would show up at her wedding. She had just ignored him, never answering his calls after leaving him at age 19. Complete disaster. The wedding was cancelled. The groom married the bride a year later after the divorce went through, in a small private ceremony. And here’s the kicker: two years later she just walked out on him.
– Here’s one you don’t hear everyday. When the pastor got to the part “or forever hold your peace,” the bride said, “Yes, I’d like to say something.” Then she turned around to her guests and said, “I’d like to thank my maid of honour for sleeping with my fiancé last night.” With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off. The story apparently even made it on the radio at the time.
– This one does not have much theatrics to it, but the sheer mess of it will leave you stunned. The bride and groom were siblings, and their estranged father hadn’t told them until he objected at the wedding. They already had a child together, says didyouknowfacts.com. Twisted.
Picture: Unsplash