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How to include your blended family on your wedding
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How to include your blended family on your wedding

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Parenthood doesn’t require DNA and some people already have children, either from a previous relationship or before marriage. When they decide to marry other people and bring their families together, they create a blended family.

Bringing your families together and including them in your big day is a sweet way to honour them. Here are some ways to do it, and make sure no one feels neglected or left out.

Have a unity Ceremony

Unity ceremonies are meaningful rituals performed during your wedding to represent becoming a union and the joining of lives, families and communities. Being highly symbolic, there are multiple ways you can do this, which can be personalised to your new family. One idea is to write meaningful letters to each other and read them out during the ceremony, then put them in a jar to keep as a family symbol.

Give them roles

Another way you can include your blended family is by assigning them roles. From a ring bearer to a flower girl, the possibilities are endless. This is guaranteed to make them feel included in the ceremony and when you are all looking at the wedding album, they will be delighted to see themselves featured and having participated.

Give them gift

Gifting is one of the five universal love languages, it shows the next person that you have thought of them and value them enough to gift them. Give them the same or similar gifts to your biological kids, or get them something they have always wanted.

Presenting something special to your new child/children is a wonderful gesture to symbolise that they are an important part of this new family.

Include them in the planning 

Kids love doing exciting things, to them everything is playtime and by including them in the planning process, you get the chance to bond with them. Let them participate in everything from cake tasting to licking invitation envelopes.

Encourage them to invite a few of their best friends and their family members to the wedding so that they have familiar faces apart from you.

Have a family dance 

After the first dance, invite the kids to come out and join you on the dance floor to their favourite tune. It would be extra fun and special if you practiced a dance prior to the wedding. You can even give them the task of coming up with the steps to our dance routine as the kids of the family.

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7 questions people forget to ask before their big day
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7 questions people forget to ask before their big day

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You have your wedding day all figured out and you think that you have ironed out every bit of information. However, there might be things you have always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask. Or maybe you have simply never thought about it, so now is a good time to think it over.

Here are a few questions no one ever thinks to ask before their big day.

How do we kiss when we kiss?

This is a big one. Remember, you will likely have your whole families, including children present at the ceremony. Understandably, you are madly in love and emotional to boot. But now is not the time to give people a sneak peek at your honeymoon.  Keep it simple and tasteful. Ideally, no tounge should be involved and let’s keep those hands from exploring, shall we?

How does a bride use the bathroom?

The dress-and-bathroom question is a very easy one to slip your mind because of the excitement of your beautiful wedding gown.

A smaller or simpler wedding dress offers much more flexibility but if you choose to go big, then it might be vital that you highlight this question with your designer. Make sure you do a practice run prior to the day to figure out the most practical way of using the bathroom without having to take off the dress entirely.

What happens to the engagement ring?

If you and your partner decide to exchange wedding bands in addition to your engagement ring, you may prefer to keep your ring fingers “clear” for the big moment. People have different traditions and beliefs so this is really an important thing to discuss with your partner before the wedding.

You will find that some slip it back on after the ceremony or before they meet and greet guests or head off for photographs. Others might leave it safely back home.

How’s everyone getting to the reception?

Transport for your guests is one of the most important things to consider when planning a wedding. Will the people you are inviting bring their own cars? Does the venue accommodate cars? Are you going to opt for the casual approach in which everyone finds their own way or bus or a string of limos? Make sure all the guests are informed about the arrangements.

Is it okay to request that guests wear a certain colour?

It is your wedding day and the colour of the day should be something you come up with. However, it might be unreasonable to expect guests to wear only a certain colour, style or theme. We say the best way is to let everyone wear what makes them feel comfortable. You can always show the colour scheme of the wedding on the invitation, and add a playful hint that everyone is welcome to dress up accordingly. However, make sure there is no pressure.

What’s the backup plan?

There are many aspects of your wedding day over which you have a lot of control. Unfortunately, there are others you absolutely do not. So, it’s important to have a backup plan in case anything changes, like a storm occurring at an outdoor wedding.

Will you be exchanging gifts?

Many couples exchange gifts on their wedding day and some even give gifts to the parents of their partner. It’s a good idea to have a discussion prior to the actual day about whether you want to give presents or not and what is expected.

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Proposals fails that are so bad, you can’t look away

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A proposal is a special moment, one to remember forever. For this exact reason, you want it to go perfectly according to plan.

Unfortunately, things don’t always work out the way we want them to. While a slight deviation from the plan is okay, there are some proposals that went so far off course that they cannot be salvaged.

Here are a few fails that will have you cringing in embarrassment.

The break up:

This couple is known for pranking each other and sometimes going too far, so it’s no surprise that a prank would be part of their proposal story. The girlfriend decided to fake a break up with her partner as a prank, going so far as to say that she had accepted a job in another country and is not in love anymore. After an argument and tears, her partner goes back into the apartment and returns with an engagement ring to admit that he had been planning to propose.

Please say yes:

Public proposals are always risky because there is so much room for error. Despite planning a sweet proposal at a live basketball game, this proposee forgot to factor in whether his partner would actually say yes. She said no in front of hundreds of people before walking away awkwardly, leaving her ex needing to receive comfort from the mascot.

A courting fail:

This couple met in a mall, so this man naturally thought it would be the appropriate place to propose. Mic in hand, he broadcast the proposal in front of a throng of shoppers. As he tried to go down on one knee, his partner literally grabbed him and tried to stop him from proposing. He persisted, and she ended up smacking him over the head with a ukelele before storming off.

Spring it on him:

While on the Jerry Springer show, this woman felt it was the perfect time to propose. She handed her partner a bowl of popcorn, which contained his ring. After she proposed, her partner continued to eat the popcorn in silence as the audience stared. He then rejected her, saying she’s too clingy and secretive. He then admits to cheating on her twice, the most recent time being with her friend. Just when you think it couldn’t get worse, the ‘friend’ he cheated with showed up and a physical fight ensued.

Never ask questions:

In another Jerry Springer proposal, things seemed to be going so well. He proposed and she accepted, before turning to Jerry and asking ‘Is that it?’. Unfortunately, that wasn’t it. The man admitted to cheating on her with her friend. The bouquet of flowers he had proposed with then turned into a weapon.

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5 things to consider when planning your wedding registry
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5 things to consider when planning your wedding registry

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It is very frustrating to receive three of the same thing from different people as a wedding gift. This is because people think in similar ways and they normally don’t know what to get you and so they resort to common gifting. As the bride, you can avoid this and the admin that comes with it. Here’s how:

Don’t wait until the last minute

Start planning and send out your registry ahead of time, you want your wedding registry to be one of the things you do at the beginning of your wedding planning.

Making and setting up a registry takes more time than you might expect it and deserves your attention because you won’t have time to redo it.

Be realistic and practical 

In your wedding registry, you should already be thinking ‘home’ and because of that, your gifts should be practical items that will make the transition of starting a new life easy.

Make a list of things you want in your house but won’t be able to get soon, these should be the gifts your friends and family get you.

Also be mindful of the people buying, you don’t want to make them pay exorbitant amounts but you don’t want cheap gifts, so get a few quotations on each item.

Share your registry

Once you’ve created your wedding registry, make sure you share it with your guests.

This includes coming up with easy ways to access your registry. It could be online where a person can click and get it or share a link with your guests.

Make sure to have a checklist option available for you and the people buying gifts, this makes it easy to see what has been bought and what is left.

Make it a joint project

Put aside some quality couple time to contemplate your future life together and think about what kinds of gifts would make you happy.Your partner must have input on the registry because this is the beginning of your life together, you don’t want anyone feeling left out.

Look for great deals 

Before choosing where to register, find out what kinds of perks and discounts you might get.Approach your desired shops for a registry, they usually give discounts for bulk registry purchases.This option helps get expert advice from someone who’s knowledgeable.

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Couple slammed after ranking wedding guests' importance on invite
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Couple slammed after ranking wedding guests’ importance on invite

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One of the toughest decisions engaged couples can make while planning a wedding is their guest list. Of course, you want your closest family and friends present on your special day. However, sometimes its not possible to include everyone. If your wedding venue has imited space, you have to make the choice on who to include and who to leave out.

One couple faced this conundrum and instead of keeping their guest list small, they decided to let their guests know exactly what’s going on. In a wedding invite, the unnamed couple explains that they have had to “categorise” guests to ensure they do not surpass capacity restrictions.

“Dear friends and family, please understand that our venue is limited in the number of guests we’ll be able to accommodate for our wedding day,” the invite reads. “As much as we’d love to have each and every one of you join us on our big day, we’re forced to split our guests into groups to ensure we don’t surpass our capacity restrictions.”

Guests were separated into Groups A, B and C. Group A are the special few at the top of the list, and are asked to RSVP as soon as possible . Groups B and C must watch the couple’s wedding website to see if there are any available spaces that open up, depending on Group A’s RSVPs.

The couple also ask that guests leave their kids at home with a babysitter, and that singletons don’t bring a partner to keep the guest list as low as possible.

This ranking quickly went viral on Reddit and Facebook page when a user posted: “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming”. It sparked a fierce debate on whether the couple are right to categorise guests in this manner. Some believed it was the smart thing to do, while others thought it was rude for the couple to tell guests which group they are in, as it essentially says how important (or not) they are to the couple.

“Nope.. if I got that and found put i was in group b I would be pissed. Find a venue that can accommodate everyone you want there or don’t invite me after the fact because you then want to fill it up. No thanks,” writes on Facebook user.

What do you think? Were the coupe right, or is there a more tactful way they could have gone about it?

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Woman posts scathing ad after discovering fiancé’s 4-year affair

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They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. One particular woman took this saying in her stride. After discovering her fiancé was secretly cheating on her, she broke things off and attempted to sell his ring with a scathing ad.

Zoe Butt proposed to Paul Botwright on the leap year after five years together. After she discovered he had been secretly having an affair for the last four years of their relationship, however, she ended the engagement.

She then took to Facebook to post an ad to sell the sterling silver band she had proposed to her partner with. In the ad, she writes,

“Men’s wedding band for sale. Sterling Silver 925 Hallmarked. Good condition couple scratches but still looks smart, only thing wrong with it is it might be tainted by the lying cheating male it was worn by,” she wrote.

The ad has since gone viral, although no one has offered to purchase the ring.

“I just wanted to get rid of it, I was genuinely trying to sell that ring,” Butt told the Daily Mail. “But no one wants it because of how I posted it.”

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Common engagement ring mistakes to avoid

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Choosing the right engagement ring can be tough. This piece of jewellery should speak to your personality and your lifestyle.

While there are many things to look out for when engagement ring shopping, there are a few things to avoid. If you’re shopping around for your future sparkler, make sure to miss making these mistakes:

Going alone:

If you’re not of the modern types who shop for the ring together, make sure to have another person close to your partner on hand. It’s like the buddy system – there is safety in numbers. Having a friend along for the ride gives you a second opinion, and is especially great if they have a deeper insight into your partner’s style and the type of ring they want.

Not doing your research beforehand:

Clarity, pavé setting, prong… Engagement ring shopping can be overwhelming with all the jargon experts throw at you. To avoid getting confused, make sure to read up on the types of settings and stones. This also helps you narrow down on how the ring will look because you can determine what your partner will like and what they won’t like.

Also read: A guide to engagement ring settings

Not considering the four C’s:

A diamond is more than just how big it is. When evaluating this stone, make sure to take the four ‘s into account: cut, colour, clarity, and carat. These refer to the standards by which the quality of diamonds are assessed and allows one to compare diamonds.

Also read: Diamonds: Understanding the 4 C’s

Buying a ring without checking ring size:

If you don’t measure your ring finger before buying your ring, you run the risk of it not fitting. While rings can be resized, it’s best to just get it right the first time to avoid this unnecessary hassle and expense. You should also take into account whether your fingers swell in higher temperatures, as this can make wearing an already tight ring even more uncomfortable.

Going for a trendy setting and/or stone:

Trends come and go, style is eternal. When shopping for your ring, focus on timeless designs that you like, not ones you think you should like because they’re trending. While you can swap out a stone and change your setting, the easiest (and less costly) option is to choose a timeless design from the beginning so that as the years go by, your love for your ring does not lesson.

Going into debt:

This one is a biggie. You need to create a budget and stick to it to avoid spending above your means. Thinking about alternatives to diamonds or expensive precious gemstones can help. For example, lab-grown diamonds are cheaper than natural ones and are the guiltless choice for those concerned about the exploitative diamond industry.

Gemstones are cheaper than diamonds, and also make for unique engagement rings. Some, like aquamarine, closely resemble coloured diamonds and can easily be a dupe for the real thing.

Also read: The guilt-free gem: Lab-grown diamonds

Also read: The perfect engagement ring based on your zodiac sign

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How hand sanitizer affects your engagement ring

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With the spread of the coronavirus in South Africa and across the world, people are much more conscious about hygiene. Specifically hand hygiene. All we’ve heard from our leaders is for weeks is “wash your hands, don’t touch your face”. This has led to an increase in the use of hand sanitizer.

The hand sanitizer you should be using consists of about 70% alcohol (isopropyl or ethyl) mixed with water, glycerine and fragrance.

You’d think that no harm can come from using proper hand sanitizer. After all, you’re trying to protect yourself from a pandemic. While you’re taking care of yourself, however, be sure to take care of your engagement ring too!

It turns out that hand sanitizer is quite bad for your ring, especially when it’s used excessively (much like we’re all doing these days). According to James Allen, an online diamond and bridal jewellery retailer, contact with cleaners that contain chlorine, bleach, and rubbing alcohol “can break down the brilliance of metals and gems over time”. The last thing you want is for your ring to lose it’s sparkle!

Experts at James Allen also warned of a different way the sanitizer could be ruining your ring. “Extensive hand sanitizer use can also loosen prongs that hold diamonds in place,” they said. This means you’re putting your diamond at risk. It could loosen and fall out without you noticing.

Of course, we don’t want these risks to stop you from practicing good hygiene. Quite the opposite, actually.

All you need to do is remove the ring from your finger each time you sanitize and you should be good to go! Remember to wait until your hand dry’s before placing the ring back on your finger.

If you really want to protect your ring, you could choose to remove it until the coronavirus pandemic passes. Bacteria can make its way into the grooves of your ring. If you don’t plan on cleaning the ring, it may be better to store it away until this all blows over.

It’s not that difficult to clean your ring though! So, if you want to keep wearing it, simply pop it in some warm water with dish washing soap at least once a week! Voila, good hygiene and a ring that remains safe and sound.

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Proposal mistakes you should avoid

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You’d think it would be difficult to make a mistake with an occasion like this. It’s one of the biggest events in your life, so of course you’d ensure that nothing could go wrong.

But planning the perfect proposal can be stressful. This stress could cause you to make some silly mistakes.

To be one-hundred percent sure that things run smoothly as you pop the big question, have a look at these common mistakes you should avoid:

– Asking for too much advice 

If you get too many opinions, your plan will be a bit of a mess and you’ll get confused about the right thing to do. Remember that you know your partner better than most people, which means that you know what they would like and what they wouldn’t. Trust your gut!

– Overcomplicating things 

If your plan consists of too many twists and turns, there is a much larger chance that silly slip ups can be made. Keep it simple and meaningful.

Additionally, your nerves may stop you from being on top of your game. A complicated plan will only aggravate the nerves.

– Planing a public proposal without being 100% sure of the answer 

If you’re a little uncertain about your partner’s answer, but you’re risking it anyway then a public proposal is probably not the best route to take. Since there is a slight chance, however small, of a negative answer you should save yourself some discomfort and plan a more intimate proposal.

– Proposing without having spoken about marriage before 

You should never just assume your partner wants to get married. If you have never discussed marriage as a couple, it is a very bad idea to propose. You never know what their feelings on marriage could be.

– Hiding the ring too well 

If you want your partner to stumble upon the ring, then be sure to hide it strategically. Don’t put it in a place they will never find it, it’ll ruin your plan completely.

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Do’s and don’ts of bachelorette parties

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The bachelorette party is about letting loose and having a good time with your girls. You’ve got long lists of things to do and organise for your wedding day and you’re feeling very overwhelmed. This party is meant to be a time away from all the hustle and bustle.

But, it can get a little complicated if you don’t prepare. It can also get a bit messy if you haven’t thought the event through before hand.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to ensure you have the best, most relaxing time.

For Brides 

Do:

– Say what you want and be clear about it. Let your bridesmaids know what you expect and what you’re comfortable with. If you want something quiet and low key, say so. If you don’t want a stripper, say so. This is the best way to avoid disappointment and an event that makes you super uncomfortable.

– Respect your partner’s comfort level. If they are not comfortable with you being around exotic dancers, that is something that you should take into consideration. It’s not worth a fight.

– Allow the bridesmaids some freedom. Let them get creative with the information you’ve provided and don’t try to control everything! You’ve given them your guest list, told them what you want and don’t want, so let them run with it. They are your nearest and dearest after all!

Don’t:

– Stay glued to your phone all night. You can check in with your soon-to-be once or twice, but avoid texting all night.  Your friends will be annoyed, you’ll come across as ungrateful, and in the end you’ll regret it as you won’t have enjoyed your night.

– Feel obligated to invite every woman you know. This is an intimate event. Only your closest friends should be there.

– Let the “last chance” talk get the best of you. Most will be encouraging and excited about your upcoming big day. But at your bachelorette party, there may be a few chats about this being your last chance to partake in some questionable activities. Don’t fall into this trap. It’ll be nothing but trouble ahead if you do.

For bridesmaids 

Do: 

– Respect the brides wishes. If she said no strippers, then do not hire strippers. You’ll ruin her night if you do.

– Plan the event well in advance. You want everybody to make it, so planning in advance ensures that the date is saved and arrangements can be made. Included in the planning is what you’ll do on the evening. Make the bookings necessary and plan the games. This allows you to have a stress free night.

– Take photos and make memories. This is something you’ll all never want to forget.  Don’t forget to put somebody in charge of photography.

Don’t: 

– Invite mothers or mothers-in-law. I guarantee you, it will be awkward.

– Force the bride into things she’s uncomfortable with. If you’ve planned a silly outfit for her, but she refuses to wear it then let it be.  Forcing it will cause unnecessary tension and the bride, the most important person at the event, won’t enjoy it.

– Get post happy. Before you share anything online, check with the bride. She might not want people seeing pictures of this intimate, private event.

– Be clear about costs for all attendees. If somebody can’t afford it, but they show up because they were unaware of the costs it will be quite uncomfortable for that person. Try to be considerate of everyone, in any way you can.

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