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    Kirsten Jacobs

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    The Gauteng High Court in Pretoria ruled in favour of a woman seeking continued maintenance from her ex-husband, who stopped giving her money as she had “remarried”.

    The drama began when the woman, who is a devout Christian, posted on Facebook that she had remarried. This prompted her ex-husband to stop paying her a R10 000 monthly maintenance fee as he felt he was no longer obligated to support her if she has a new husband.

    According to the woman, however, she had not legally remarried but rather had a ceremony with her partner that she referred to as her ‘husband’ in order to receive God’s blessing on her new relationship, as she wanted to legitimise their ‘sinful’ relationship. The pair never signed a wedding register or had their union officially registered with the Department of Home Affairs, making it an illegitimate marriage.

    The woman took her ex to court where they ruled in her favour, finding that since the ceremony was not an official marriage her ex-husband technically violated their maintenance agreement.

    Not happy with his outcome, the ex-husband then turned to the Supreme Court of Appeal in Bloemfontein. However, they agreed with the High Court’s ruling but overturned the contempt of court order against him as he had acted on advice from his lawyer to stop paying the maintenance fee.

    Since then, the woman has split from her partner, and she has come to an agreement with her ex-husband to continue the monthly maintenance payments until she remarries or dies. However, a new clause was added that he would not have to be responsible for maintenance if she cohabitates with another man in a common law marriage, reports the Pretoria News.

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    It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new trend. The wedding world is constantly evolving, and what was hot a few years ago can easily be replaced.

    Whether you want to be on-trend or simply enjoy staying abreast with the latest styles, it’s a good idea to become familiar with the designs predicted to be super popular for wedding cakes in 2021.

    While it may change in size, taste and appearance, cakes will always be a wedding tradition. Here are the styles expected to be big in 2021.

    Gesture cakes / skinny cakes

    Gesture cakes are mini, affordable cakes that still hold the essence of tradition but won’t create a massive hole in your bank account. It’s generally the size of a normal cake one may have at a birthday party. For those having micro-weddings, this option is perfect. With the COVID-19 pandemic, couples will have to downscale their weddings so it makes perfect sense to opt for a smaller cake as well. You won’t have a ton of cake go to waste and get to save some money in the process.

    Keep it simple

    Naked cakes have been all the rage for the last few years, and it seems this trend will not leave. Rustic-inspired cakes adorned with subtle floral detail and greenery will continue to be massively popular, and reflect the paired-down wedding experience of 2021.

    Art deco

    While simple often reigns supreme, we also expect a massive resurgence of 1920s inspired Art Deco cakes. Think geometric shapes, bold lines and rich colours. Darker hues like black, navy and gold work best for this trend.

    Single-serve desserts:

    Throw the cake out of the window and opt for individually-sized desserts. These single portions are easier to serve and reduce the need for multiple hands to touch a knife in order to cut a cake, which is perfect in these times.

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    Reminiscent of sunshine, yellow is often considered the happiest colour. It is bright, bold and vibrant yet soft at the same time.

    PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating, a warm yellow shade, is one of the Pantone colours of the year, which means this hue is about to be all over the runways and the wedding world.

    While many flowers come in yellow, our favourites are tulips, dahlias and, of course, sunflowers. The best way to pull off this trend is to opt for a variety of yellow shades and throw in some white flowers to break up the colour.

    Here are some bouquets to inspire you:

     

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    Weddings can change even the most rational person into a bridezilla. Unfortunately for these bridesmaids, their bride got a bit too controlling and laid down the law, giving them a 37-rule contract of do’s and don’t to follow in the lead up to the big day.

    According to the Mirror UK, the bride demanded her bridesmaids may not alter their hair colour, gain more than 3kg or intentionally fall pregnant before the wedding.

    Bridesmaids also required a doctor’s note to miss dress fittings or any bridal activities like the bachelorette party.

    The bride even went so far as to ban her bridesmaids from wearing false eyelashes, ban colourful nails and glossy coloured lipstick.

    Here are the rules in full:

    – I will not try to convince the bride to change anything in her wedding.

    – I will not talk negative about anyone in the wedding.

    – I will wear only black or dark brown hair on the day of the wedding (highlights may be accepted with prior approval).

    – I cannot wear any lashes the day of the wedding unless professionally installed.

    – I have to attend the bridal shower and bachelorette party, fitting and rehearsals and wedding (only time this can be missed is death or jail, pregnancy over five months and some sickness with recent doctor’s note).

    – I will take care of my skin, hair and nails from now until the wedding.

    – The bride will choose my make-up artist the day of the wedding.

    – I will agree to wear the dress the bride chooses regardless of my own opinions, style or colour.

    – I will not wear any extra accessories, items of clothing or jewellery the day of the wedding except my wedding or engagement ring.

    – I will not intentionally fall pregnant before the wedding. (Pregnancy under five months will not be excused from attending wedding events.)

    – I will support the bride in everything she chooses.

    – I will not consume more than seven units of alcohol during any event except the bachelorette party (there will be no limit).

    – I will not bring a date to wedding or reception without bridal approval.

    – I will not bring any outside people, except kids, to any meeting.

    – I will not bring my kids to the wedding unless they are a part of the wedding party (no exceptions).

    – I will make sure I have an accountable babysitter the day of all events and I understand that no show for no babysitter will not be an acceptable excuse.

    – I will not make any advances towards males in the wedding party.

    – I will not date anyone in the wedding party that I wasn’t dating before I signed this contract.

    – I will be happy and positive at all times during wedding and reception.

    – I will not grow sensitive and angry with the bride because I understand that she has a bossy attitude.

    – I will not attempt to outdo the bride in any way.

    – I will wear the hairstyle the bride chooses for the wedding day.

    – I understand that I have to purchase my own dress and shoes and hairstyle for the wedding.

    – I understand that the bachelorette party may be a destination getaway.

    – I understand that I have to purchase a bachelorette party T-shirt and fund my own trip if it is away.

    – I understand that the maid and matron of honour will need help funding some of the events.

    – I understand that the bride does not want any suggestion and this agreement is on here twice, two different ways, because the bride wants it to be clear. Only suggestion allowed is a way to get her exact item at a cheaper price.

    – I will not drop out of the wedding party for any of the reasons listed above. If I do not like anything listed, I will not sign the contract and I will be replaced. I understand that if I do not agree to the above terms it will not ruin the bride and I’s friendship. But if I sign and agree and later want to drop out, then it will ruin our friendship.

    – I understand that no friendship to the bride is bigger than anyone in her wedding party and everyone will be treated equally.

    – I understand that I may have to do physical activity at the reception and this requires practices provided by the bride.

    – No coloured contact lenses allowed.

    – No black drawn-on eyebrows or thick drawn-on (matter of fact, revert back to make-up law above).

    – No glossy coloured lipstick allowed (the kind that looks very, very shiny and bright).

    – No colourful nails the day of the wedding. Only colours allowed are American, French or Nudes.

    – I will provide the bride with my normal seven-day schedule within five days of signing this contract.

    – I will agree to save at least $50 (about R740) a month for expenses for the next 14 months.

    Unfortunately for the bride, not all of her bridesmaids were on board with her expectations. Only six of the ten bridesmaids ended up agreeing and signing the contract.

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    The world breathed a collective sigh of relief when the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve and brought 2020 to an end. As the old year ends a new one begins, bringing with it new trends to try.

    Pantone released its highly anticipated annual Pantone color of the year, coming out with not one but two shades that will dominate trends in 2021.

    The two shades picked are PANTONE 17-5104 Ultimate Gray + PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating, meant to convey a message of strength and hopefulness that is both enduring and uplifting, perfect for wedding season.

    “PANTONE 17-5104 Ultimate Gray + PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating, two independent colors that highlight how different elements come together to support one another, best express the mood for Pantone Color of the Year 2021,” the website explains.

    “Practical and rock solid but at the same time warming and optimistic, the union of PANTONE 17-5104 Ultimate Gray + PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating is one of strength and positivity. It is a story of color that encapsulates deeper feelings of thoughtfulness with the promise of something sunny and friendly.

    “A message of happiness supported by fortitude, the combination of PANTONE 17-5104 Ultimate Gray + PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating is aspirational and gives us hope. We need to feel that everything is going to get brighter – this is essential to the human spirit.

    “As people look for ways to fortify themselves with energy, clarity, and hope to overcome the continuing uncertainty, spirited and emboldening shades satisfy our quest for vitality. PANTONE 13-0647 Illuminating is a bright and cheerful yellow sparkling with vivacity, a warming yellow shade imbued with solar power. PANTONE 17-5104 Ultimate Gray is emblematic of solid and dependable elements which are everlasting and provide a firm foundation.

    “The colors of pebbles on the beach and natural elements whose weathered appearance highlights an ability to stand the test of time, Ultimate Gray quietly assures, encouraging feelings of composure, steadiness and resilience.”

    While unusual shades at first glance, this yellow and grey pairing has such a sweet message that will be especially meaningful in 2021.

    Yellow bridesmaid dresses, and sunny decor can be calmed down with modern grey touches. They work especially well with outdoor summer and spring weddings.

    Picture: Pantone

    On your wedding day, it’s important to feel comfortable and stay true to yourself. Many brides may opt to up the sexy factor but if that does not feel authentic to you, don’t worry about it.

    Dressing modestly does not have to be boring. You can still make a stylish statement while covering your cleavage, legs and arms if that is what makes you feel most comfortable. The important aspect then comes in the design of your wedding dress.

    Lace, embellishments and beadwork do wonders for bringing life to an otherwise simple silhouette. If you’re not one for sparkle, opt for a more modern cut like a cape that will still cover your arms while giving you a fashionable edge at the same time. A super-long train and subtle corset detailing are also subtle ways to add a unique touch to your look.

    Here are some stunning brides who rocked modest bridal fashion on their big day:

     

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    Not even a global pandemic can stop love. It’s engagement season at the minute, and if it seems like your social media pages are inundated with engagement announcements, you’re not alone.

    It’s a new year, and with it comes new trends in the wedding world. While classic styles will always reign supreme, those wanting to be a bit more unique and current should keep an eye on these trends.

    Trend 1: personal details

    2020 was a crazy year, one that truly highlighted the importance of family and love. We predict couples will want to emphasise their love by incorporating personal details into their engagement rings. There are so many ways you could do this, from using a family stone to having a secret message inscribed on the band.

    Trend 2: side stones

    It’s not all about the centre stone. Since Megan Markle debuted her engagement ring, people have been in love with the three-stone engagement ring. For 2021, jewellers have already had requests for a more paired down style featuring two petite stones to flank the centre stone.

    Trend 3: Pretty in pastel

    Coloured stones are always a popular choice for those wanting something different. While emerald is the most popular choice, jewellers predict pastel-hued diamonds and gemstones will be big in 2021. Pink and yellow diamonds are the more expensive option, but you could find great options with aquamarine, citrine or amethyst.

     

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    Trend 4: Tradition with a twist

    Classic styles like the round, oval and cushion cut are being given modern updates with unique metal choices and settings. For example, opting for a bezel setting is an unusual touch for a round ring, blending the old and the new.

    Picture: Pexels

    We live in a culture that values “experiences”. These are often promoted in the media, and by those selling them, as vital to enhancing our well-being.

    We all know big life events like marriage, parenthood, job loss and the death of loved one can affect our well-being. But by how much and for how long?

    We set out to measure the effect of major life events – 18 in total – on well-being. To do so we used a sample of about 14,000 Australian adults tracked over 16 years. Some of our results were expected. Others were surprising.

    Overall, our results show good events like marriage improved some aspects of well-being, but bad events like health shocks had larger negative effects. For good and bad events, changes in well-being were temporary, usually disappearing by 3-4 years.

    Here are some of our most interesting findings.

    Happiness versus life satisfaction

    Our study distinguished two different aspects of well-being: “happiness” and “life satisfaction”. Researchers often treat these as the same thing, but they are different.

    Happiness is the positive aspect of our emotions. People’s self-reported happiness tends to be fairly stable in adulthood. It follows what psychologists call “set point theory” – people have a “normal” level of happiness to which they usually return over the long run.

    Life satisfaction is driven more by one’s sense of accomplishment in life. A person can be satisfied, for example, because they have a good job and healthy family but still be unhappy.

    Life events often affect happiness and life satisfaction in the same direction: things that make you happier tend to also improve your life satisfaction. But not always, and the size of the effects frequently differ.

    In the case of having a child, the contrast is stark. Right after the birth, parents are more satisfied but less happy, possibly reflecting the demands of caring for a newborn (eg. sleep deprivation).

    Changes are temporary

    After almost all events (both good and bad), well-being tends to return to a personal set point. This process is known as the hedonic treadmill – as people adapt to their new circumstances, well-being returns to baseline. This has been found in other studies as well.

    The good news is that even after very bad events, most people seem to eventually return to their set-point well-being level. Even after an extremely bad event such as the death of a spouse, people’s well-being generally recovers in two to three years. This doesn’t mean they don’t carry pain from the experience, but it does mean they can feel happy again.

    Bad events affect us more

    The detrimental effects of bad events on well-being outweigh the positive effect of good events. Negative effects also last longer. This is partly because most people are happy and satisfied in general, so there is more “room” to feel worse than better. In fact, we can’t confidently say there is any positive cumulative effect of good events on happiness at all. However, marriage, retirement, childbirth and financial gains all temporarily improve overall life satisfaction.

    Our finding that “losses” hurt more than “gains” mirrors decades of behavioural economics research showing people are generally “loss averse” – going to more effort to avoid losses than to chase gains.

    The bad events that have the largest total effects are death of a spouse or child, financial loss, injury, illness and separation.

    Small, fleeting effects

    Starting a new job, getting promoted, being fired and moving house are events that people often fixate on as either stressful or to be celebrated. But, on average, these don’t seem to affect well-being that much. Their effects are comparatively very small and generally fleeting.

    This could be because of differences in the nature of these events for different people, or that they frequently occur. For example, being fired can be devastating. But for someone close to retirement who receives a large redundancy payment and moves to the coast, it might be a positive experience.

    An important caveat to our study is that it reflects the average experiences of people. There are likely to be some people who experience long-lasting improvements in well-being after good events. There will also be people who experience sustained decreased well-being after bad events. In future work we hope to identify these different people and isolate the characteristics that predict what responses to different events will look like.

    The things that matter

    Our results caution against chasing happiness through positive experiences alone. The impact, if any, seems small and fleeting, as the hedonic treadmill drags us back to our own well-being set point.

    Instead, we might do better by focusing on the things that protect us against feeling devastated by bad events. The most important factors are strong relationships, good health and managing exposure to financial losses.

    In 2020 we might also take consolation from the fact that, although it will take time, our well-being can recover from even the worst circumstances.

    We humans are a resilient bunch.The Conversation

    This article is written by Nathan Kettlewell, Chancellor’s Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Economics Discipline Group, University of Technology Sydney; Nick Glozier, Professor of Psychological Medicine, BMRI & Disciplne of Psychiatry, University of Sydney, and Richard Morris, Research scientist, University of Sydney

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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    As we bid 2020 goodbye and ring in 2021, with no end in sight yet to the Covid-19 pandemic that has forever changed our world, it’s worth taking a look at how Wrapistry has evolved to help couples – and their loved ones – celebrate their most important moments.

    Wrapistry is a local online registry and gift store aimed at making happy couples (and their guests) even happier by creating the ultimate registry experience. They’ve already proven themselves market leaders in the wedding gift registry space and now they’ve evolved, just like the couples they help celebrate do, by creating baby registries to welcome new bundles of joy to the world.

    “Weddings are just one part of a couple’s journey together. We want to be a part of every chapter. So, it makes sense for reimagining the baby registry to be our next adventure,” comments CEO, Jed Shein.

    Brick-and-mortar shopping has quite rightly developed into the click-and-mortar variety: you order online and have it delivered to your home. Wrapistry uses design and technology combined with exceptional customer service to help couples – and their loved ones – browse through a curated selection of everything that new parents and the new arrival may need. Couples can choose from an amazing range of products. From stylish cots and sleek strollers to everyday essentials (think cutlery sets and vests), Wrapistry has created the ultimate baby registry. Plus, new, beautiful items are added to the online store each week.

    Let’s face it, traditional gift registries don’t leave much room for creativity. With Wrapistry, though, couples can ask for what they actually want. They can register for gifts and cash funds – all in one place – so their loved ones have options. And when they really desire a big-ticket item (a baby stroller or bassinet, for example), simply turn on group gifting and give guests the opportunity to contribute what they can. No stress, no hassle and no fuss of keeping tallies of who gave what – Wrapistry does that all for you.

    “Creating a gift registry should be one of the most fun experiences,” says co-founders Pat Berman and Linda Shein.

    Family and friends may not always be able to celebrate a baby’s arrival in person during a pandemic, and that makes giving them the option of gifting something special that they know the couple chose themselves so much more special. For the couple, the Wrapistry team is on hand to help. The team has learnt much over the years: from the most popular gifts to the average amount people spend. Answer a few questions and they’ll recommend how many gifts to add to the registry, based on price point and category. This way not only will the new parents get a variety of items, but also accommodate different budgets.

    Each Wrapistry registry includes:

    – The option to play around with photos, background images and customise the welcome message.

    – Notifications every time guests shop the registry.

    – Free delivery. Plus, the option to choose when to have gifts delivered.

    – Free exchanges before closing the registry.

    – A 10% registry completion discount.

    – Support for the couple and their guests.

    Visit wrapistry.shop today to create the perfect registry for the new chapter you’re about to enter as parents.

    Picture/s: supplied

    Brandon Devonshire (25) from Rome, Pennsylvania was told me may never walk again. Defying all odds, he walked across a room and got down on one knee to propose to his partner, Crickett LeVance (25).

    In July of 2020, Devonshire suffered a terrible accident when he was crushed by a tree he had been cutting down, which ruptured his vertabrae and caused damage to his spinal cord.

    His spine is now stabilised by two rods and eight screws, but he was left paralysed. Months after the accident, he began to regain movement and has been working with physiotherapists.

    Throughout it all, girlfriend Crickett has been by his side supporting him. To thank her and show his love, he decided to propose.

    Devonshire popped the question on August 11, 2020 in the personal training gym at a hospital. He walked across the room using a walking frame, and medical staff were on hand to help him kneel on a padded cushion and rest his upper body against a chair so that he could comfortably propose.

    An unsuspecting Crickett enters the room and is shocked to see her partner kneeling with a ring box.

    Watch the sweet moment here:

     

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    Congratulations to the happy couple!

    Picture: Screenshot from video