The Xhosa people are a Bantu group native to Southern Africa. They belong to various tribes such as amaGcaleka, amaNdlambe, imiDushane and more. A traditional Xhosa wedding doesn’t just see the union of two people, but of two families joining. So what happens at a traditional Xhosa wedding?
Pre wedding traditions
Picking your partner
- The term is called ‘Ukuthwala’. This is where a groom will choose a partner to marry and once the lucky person is chosen, the groom will inform his family and approach the bride’s family. They will discuss their desires and reach an agreement followed by the bride-to-be being asked to spend the night with the groom’s family. This is a form of acknowledgement of the marriage.
Lobola
- A form of payment – in order to wed the woman, the groom-to-be has to pay her family in exchange for her hand. Traditionally, payment was in the form of cattle, but nowadays people prefer money. The amount is usually more if the bride-to-be is more educated and is calculated on her success.
Wedding traditions
The ‘night before’ rule
- The couple isn’t allowed to see each other the night before their big day.
Two-day event
- Celebrations normally go on for two days and involve a lot of dancing and singing.
To the streets
- The newlywed couple will take to the streets. They will walk together in the road to present themselves as a new couple to the community.
Two weddings
- Not all couples, but many of them, have two weddings. They have their traditional one and choose to have a modern ‘white’ wedding as well.
Picture: Unsplash
You’re planning your big day and you’re deciding on venues. A beach, forest and traditional chapel have all crossed your mind, however, those options aren’t engrossing you. So…
Bush breaks are no longer just reserved for weekends with Sibani Lodge’s brand new and diverse portfolio offering.
Situated on the world heritage site of Mt Savannah, near the Cradle of Humankind, Sibani offers local and international guests real value.
The luxury extends to wellness treatments, where you’re able to choose a treatment under the trees, near the watering hole or indoors. This newest addition to Sibani’s activity line-up aims to appeal to both overnight and day guests, where spa-rties, bachelorettes and special event requests are welcomed.
The plentiful game on site includes a variety of antelope and other non-‘Big 5’ predatory animals, which allows for walking trails on site and the opportunity to roam the expansive property at your own free will.
A ‘boma’ area caters for all guests as the central watering hole, offering the chance to come together and share a feast as well as tales of the daily sightings, around the campfire and under a ceiling of stars.
Be warned – this is luxury camping where hot water and down duvets come complete with the outdoor dream but if that’s not for you, Sibani also offers basic camping sites on a nightly rate for all those wanting to enjoy a fully-immersive camp set up on their own terms.
Prize Details:
Sibani Lodge: Two people will win standard full body massages, a romantic picnic for 2, value: R2000.
How to enter: Fill out the form below.
Our Winner:
Cheryl Wheeler
Competition Ts & Cs:
– The winners will be announced on September 3
– The winners will be announced on September 3
– Wine is not included in the picnic
– Does not include transport
– Winners will be contacted via details entered on the form
– Prizes are not refundable and cannot be exchanged for money
– Winners must be over the age of 18
– Winners will be contacted via details entered on the form
– Prizes are not refundable and cannot be exchanged for money
– Winners must be over the age of 18
Looking for a premium quality bottle of bubbles to celebrate with on your wedding day? Look no further than the Lourensford Brut 2014 Méthode Cap Classique from the…
A classic complement to any celebration, like Champagne, Grace du Roi MCC spends at least nine months developing flavour in the bottle according to French methods, resulting in a delicious, sophisticated bubbly perfectly suited to raising an elegant toast to the bride.
Made from Chardonnay grapes, the low yields from the dry winelands surrounding Paarl are hugely flavoursome. The grapes are harvested while still firm on the branch and fermented with only the slightest contact with French oak to create a beautifully-structured wine.
Best enjoyed chilled, the subtle flavours of Grace du Roi complement salty canapes like prosciutto, stuffed mushrooms and focaccia. The MCC goes particularly well with cheese platters and salty bruschetta.
Showing the versatility of bubbly, both the Sparkling Wine and the MCC also enhance heavier dishes, such as mussels in a creamy sauce, while also pairing beautifully with more subtly-flavoured seafood, like sushi and chicken dishes.
Prize Details:
Win 6 bottles of Grace du Roi MCC and R1 500 cash towards your wedding dress
How to enter: Please fill in the form below
Our winner:
Cindy Menigo.
Competition Ts & Cs:
– The winners will be announced on September 5
– Winners will be contacted via details entered on the form
– Prizes are not refundable and cannot be exchanged for money
– Winners must be over the age of 18
– The winners will be announced on September 5
– Winners will be contacted via details entered on the form
– Prizes are not refundable and cannot be exchanged for money
– Winners must be over the age of 18
Your wedding anniversary is approaching and you have no idea what to get your partner. After years and years of birthdays, religious occasions and relationship anniversaries it may…
The best man is there to assist the groom to be – the equivalent of the maid of honour. Some of their duties include giving advice when picking an outfit, planning the bachelor party, lending an ear and providing some words of wisdom. One very important responsibility, of course, is the best man speech. It can be nerve-wracking to say the least, but don’t worry, we’ve gathered some tips on how to carry out your toast.
1. Plan and prepare
This goes without saying, but it’s vital to be prepared. Some may say that winging it is the best way to go, but not in this case. Start thinking about things or funny stories you’d like to mention. Take notes whenever you can and build something up. It really does come in handy when you’re sitting there trying to think of everything to say in one go.
2. Are you a comedian?
If not, then please try not to be. Yes there will be some hits, but when the misses come, it’s just awkward. If you do plan on cracking a few jokes, try aiming them at your buddy and not his new bride, unless you’re all really close.
3. Practice and written copy
As odd as this may sound, practicing your speech out loud helps a lot. You’ll get comfortable with the words and it won’t sound as though you’re reading your speech on the big day. Know your pauses and when to make eye contact. As the big day approaches, ask someone (not the bride or groom) to listen to your speech. Remember the notes you took? Formulate it all into one copy. If you prefer not to read on the night, write a few points down in bullet form, so if you do stumble, you’ll be able to look down and get back on track.
4. Don’t mumble and remember the basics
This goes without saying – people need to be able to hear you. Open your mouth when you talk and project your voice. Introduce yourself and explain how you know the bride and groom. Thank the guests for coming and congratulate the newlywed couple.
5. Anecdote
People enjoy listening to stories but not when it’s long and dragged out. Try keeping the speech under five minutes. The stories have to be interesting and funny, and if you’re not sure on how to make it funny, then aim for just putting a smile on the guests faces. You don’t always have to have people in stitches – people appreciate a sweet ‘awww’ moment too.
6. Avoid at all cost
Don’t say anything negative about marriage, even if you think it’s funny. This newlywed couple have just entered their marriage and shouldn’t feel regretful. Ex-partners should not be mentioned and this includes girlfriends, boyfriends and ex-spouses. Sexual humour should be avpided completely, because it’s downright inappropriate and may be awkward for the happy couple as their family and close friends are there.
7. Content
Just a basic outline of what should or can be mentioned include:
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- Introductions
- Thanks and congratulations
- How you know and met the bride and groom
- Something nice about the groom that people may not know
- Why the bride and groom make a great couple and how you’ve witnessed their love
- Relevant quote or poem
- Champagne time!
Picture: Pexels