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A South African couple forewent tradition by requesting financial donations to help pay off Rhodes University students’ fee debts instead of wedding gifts when they got married earlier this month.

James Rycroft and Toni Parsons are both Rhodes alumni. They each received a one-year bursary award from the English Olympiad and both went on to read for a Bachelor of Arts degree with English as a major, which is how they met in 2001.

“We lost touch after graduating and it was through Facebook that we reconnected. We met again in 2016 through our dear friend Natasha, and got engaged in 2018 in Esizindeni, near Coffee Bay, during our December cross-country road trip,” they said.

The couple got married in Southbroom on the Kwa-Zulu Natal south coast at the beginning of October 2019.

The couple spoke to their alma mater to explain that their request for financial aid for students was inspired by a fellow old Rhodian and friend, Natasha Joseph, who has been running an annual call for contributions to clear students’ fee accounts since 2017.

“Earning a degree is often a key life moment for a young person and we felt strongly about directing our community resources to helping a few young people at the university to graduate,” said James.

Toni added: “We believe that earning a degree should not be inhibited by your [in]ability to pay. A degree from a quality institution like Rhodes University can lead to serious opportunities when you enter the world of work. The contributions made by our community are intended in that spirit – to help those students who are unable to graduate, not because they did not meet academic standards, but because they were unable to raise the cash.”

Rhodes University Vice Chancellor, Dr Sizwe Mabizela accepted the couple’s gift and thanked them in a letter with these words.

“This has impacted me deeply. It proves, once again, the calibre and well-roundedness of our graduates. At a time when young couples would normally and naturally only think of their own comfort and improving their lives, they have both actioned a social purpose and are living proof of our alumni.”

 

Picture: Rhodes University

What do you get a couple that has everything? You may not get lucky and receive an invitation with a wedding gift registry or a request for monetary presents. If that is the case, here’s how to pick a great wedding gift:

Budget 

Firstly, you should establish a budget. How much would you like to spend on a wedding gift? The amount you decide on will help with what you can get. For example, if you want to spend R500, you obviously wouldn’t look at high-end kitchen tools.

Relationship 

How do you know the couple? Is it family, close friends, friends or co-workers? This is important because you’d put more effort into a gift if it was someone close to you.

Know the couple 

What do they like? What do they do? For example, do they enjoy cooking, wine, camping, hiking, or traveling? Try to choose something that the couple can both use or do together.

Receipt 

We were always told to take the price off a gift before giving it to someone because someone shouldn’t know how much you’ve spent on them. In this case, however, giving the gift along with the receipt is a great idea. For example, if you’ve bought something too small or perhaps the colour is wrong, they have the option of exchanging it.

Ask

You could just simply ask the couple what they’d like or need.

Have a look at these great wedding gift options. 
For those who enjoy cooking or baking:

 

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Engraving a cookware item like a cutting board is something special and practical.

 

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Couples who love camping:

 

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Cute camping items are a great option for those who enjoy the outdoors. Anything practical that they can use while camping is great.

 

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Alchohol enthusiasts:

 

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Don’t just get them normal glasses, opt for special sets. Glasses that will only be used for special occasions.

 

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Travel lovers:

 

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These scratch maps are really trendy but great too. The couple can look at the map and see all the places they’ve traveled together.

Decor

 

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Some couples take a lot of pride in their home and enjoy decorating it with beautiful items. You could always find a great addition to add to their coffee table or bookcase.

 

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After the big proposal comes all the planning. You and your partner will usually decide on who you’d like by your side on the big day, which will include friends and family. It is both an honour for them and a huge favour they’re doing for you, seeing as they’ll be helping you with most of the planning.

That said, it’s important to put a little effort into asking your wedding party to be a part of your day. Especially since weddings can be quite pricey. Choose something special instead of just sending a text or asking them nonchalantly. Here are some ideas:

Custom box 

Put together a few items that mean a lot to you and your selected wedding party. You can customise the boxes to suit the theme of your wedding and what your loved ones would appreciate.

 

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Alcohol labels 

Purchase a bottle of alcohol and customise the bottles with labels ‘proposing’ to your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Switch up the liquor depending on what your nearest and dearest like.

 

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Scratch off cards

These cool cards come with a special design and a solid filled section. Your wedding party will then scratch and win, or rather, receive their proposal.

 

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Custom card

It’s better than a text! You can also make it really cute and sentimental.

 

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For the guys…

Special flask

Your buddies will love a unique flask as a proposal, especially since it’s very practical.

 

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Special socks

Custom socks are great as gifts and you can have your groomsmen wear them on the big day. If they’re funky, they’ll make for great pictures.

 

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Cuff links

Cuff links will count as a ‘proposal’ and serve as a cool embellishment for the wedding.

 

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Cigars

Gift your guys with a memorable cigar. You can have a paper ring placed around each cigar with the ‘proposal’ message.

 

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For the girls…

Bracelets

There are great custom jewellery options that you can gift your bridesmaids. It’s a lovely option as it’s something practical that they can wear to the wedding as well as afterwards.

 

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Candles

Pick a wonderfully scented candle and turn it into a ‘proposal’ for your ladies.

 

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Custom Hanger

You can have special hangers made for your bridesmaids. This is quite cute and your besties can use them on the big day.

 

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Hair ties

This can be quite punny but also a practical gift, because we all know how easy it is to lose them!

 

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Your wedding anniversary is approaching and you have no idea what to get your partner. After years and years of birthdays, religious occasions and relationship anniversaries it may be hard to come up with new ideas, but did you know each wedding anniversary year has an allocated gift according to tradition?

It seems to be unsure as to who allocated each years gift but there are a few theories. Many sources state that the allocated wedding anniversary gifts originated during medieval times in Germanic regions of Central Europe. Husbands would gift their wives with a silver wreath on their 25th wedding anniversary. On the 50th anniversary she would receive a gold wreath.

The 60th wedding anniversary is diamond but only after Queen Victoria announced her 60th year on the throne. It was known as her Diamond Jubilee. Before that diamond was allocated to 75 years.

Other than 25, 50 and 60 years there are no other theories as to where the other gift allocations first originated.

Have a look at each years gift here:

1. One year: Paper

 

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Year one, paper. #calluscaban #81818 #weddingseason #anniversary #marriageanniversary #paperanniversary

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2. Two years: Cotton

 

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Cotton anniversary gift for this lovely family ??????? Order your custom anniversary portrait?

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3. Three years: Leather

 

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Happy 3rd #wedding #anniversary to us! Love you #hubby @_beav #leatheranniversary #love ??? #3rdanniversary

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4. Four years: Linen or fruits and flowers


5. Five years: Wood


6. Ten years: Tin or aluminum


7. Fifteen years: Crystal


8. Twenty years: China


9.  Twenty-five years: Silver


10. Thirty years: Pearl


11. Thirty-five years: Coral

 

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Anniversary present from Ray – Red Coral for our Coral Anniversary. #35AmazingYears #CoralAnniversary #TreasureOfTheSea

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12. Forty years: Ruby

 

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I often have clients bring in antique rings to be repaired to their former glory, but sometimes they’re so heavily worn that there is no option than to just start over. ⠀ ⠀ Normally I would recommend using the original piece as a leaping off point and design something new that references the design but is reflective of your own personal style. My client had worn this ring for years and had inherited it from her family. She was adamant that we recreate the ring as it was, ready for several more generations. ⠀ ⠀ One of the rubies had fallen out and the remaining one was very heavily worn. I had the old ruby polished and it came up a vibrant hot pink. It was a tricky one to match but I eventually found another ruby that had the same intense colour. The detail on the side of the ring was so worn away that I had to research in to other Victorian rings to find the right pattern to engrave of the side. ⠀ ⠀ When the ring was finally finished my client was overjoyed to have her family treasure brought to life again in its new incarnation.

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13. Forty-five years: Sapphire


14. Fifty years: Gold


15. Fifty-five: Emerald


16. Sixty years: Diamond

Not every anniversary has to be interpreted directly. Put your own twist on things especially if your year is quite pricey. It’s not about how much you spend but about the thought and effort you put into it.

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Couples are difficult to shop for and having a wedding registry solves a whole lot of problems for guests who don’t understand your style. Gift registries are easy and effortless, and ensure you don’t have 10 of the same gifts. Here are a few local shops and websites to consider when listing your registry. You can also read: Best wedding planning APP’s and tools.

1. Yuppiechef

Founded in 2006, YuppieChef was created by two friends. Known as a kitchen and homeware store, the company has assisted over 5000 happy couples. They offer an easy and convenient set up and stock products from over 700 brands. The company specialises in knives, cookware, appliances and soft furnishings.

2. @home

This well known homeware store offers a gift registry that can be set up online. @home offers an in-store consultation if you and your partner desire this. You can also manage your registry online. They offer several brands in various homeware sections such as the kitchen, bedroom, living room, bathroom and decor.

3. Wrapistry

Wrapistry  have a variety of gifts and brands on their website. The website boasts brands like Carrol Boyes, Jamie Oliver, Maxwell & Williams, Le Creuset and many more. Options include group gifting, free delivery, gift tracker and cash refunds.

4. Mr Price Home

This store has a wide variety of homeware items at affordable prices. Have your pick of living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and home decor items. Mr Price Home has online videos available to help assist with setting up your registry.

5. Gift Tree

They provide many gift registries and items to choose from. Gift Tree also allows group gifting, so if you choose something a bit more expensive, a few people can contribute to it. They customise your registry to suit any budget. Offering gifts from various sections like bar ware, decor, tableware, bedroom, bathroom and dining.

6. Bespoke

Founded in 2012, Bespoke offers a carefully curated collection of homeware items. Take a pick from kitchen, decor, bedroom, outdoor and living room items.

7. From9am.com

From9am is your one-stop online cyber destination for all things health and beauty in South Africa.  Quality products made locally and imported are available for online purchase, this includes makeup, eye, Lip, face, hair, body and feet products catering for all types of consumers! Shop the From9am.com beauty destination for makeup brush sets, blush and powder brushes, beauty blenders, makeup bags, tweezers, foundation, eyeshadows, palettes, eye makeup, lashes, concealers, contours, highlighters, bronzers, primers, setting sprays, face, body and feet products + so much more.

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The wedding is over. Now you can finally relax, right?

Nope! There is still one thing left to do – send out thank you cards. This may seem like a daunting task, but it has to be done. The general rule for sending out thank you cards after a wedding is that you have 3 months to do so, but try to do it as soon as possible.

Some tips for making this process as easy as possible:

  • When opening gifts, keep a list of every gift received and who it was from. This will help you when you are actually writing the cards as you won’t have to rack your brain trying to remember who gave what.
  • Keep a pen and your wedding stationery next to your bed so that you can write a few cards each night when you get into bed. This is better than writing them all at once as you want the cards to be as appreciative and sincere as possible which can be hard to maintain after you’ve already written 50 cards. It also takes the pressure off finding time to sit down and write them all.

A few things to include in the card: specify the gift that was received so that the card is personalised, write something personal about the giver, and comment on the joy that the gift will bring you.

The best tip I can give when writing a thank you card is: NEVER start with thank you. Start with any other sentence. If you start with thank you, you won’t know what to say next.

A great thank you card doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done.

 

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Although wedding favours are not compulsory, they are a great sentiment. It is recommended to give something that is either edible, reusable, or an item that is fun and functional to use at the wedding; this will reduce the risk of ‘wasted’ favours.

1. Anything that is edible (or drinkable)

Something yummy to eat or drink is a great favour as it will generally always be eaten.

2. Tea towels

You can have a romantic quote printed on the tea towel to personalise it slightly, but still make sure it is usable in every day life. Plus, you can never have too many tea towels, especially when it reminds you of a special day that you were a part of.

3. Personalised blankets

This is a great favour for a winter wedding. It can be used by guests at the wedding who can’t handle the cold and it’s always nice to have an extra blanket in the house, especially if it also warms your heart by reminding you of fond memories.

4. Sunscreen

The perfect favour for a summer wedding and easy to take home. Sunscreen can be cute, personalised and will definitely not go unused.

5. Flip flops

Recommended for a beach wedding, but also works for a summer wedding. Those in heels will thank you and the memories of your big day are sure to accompany those special to you on many adventures in future.

6. Luggage tags

A perfect favour for a destination wedding, your guest are sure to appreciate and cherish these gifts for years to come and they conveniently double up nicely as escort cards too.

7. Scented candles

Maybe it’s just us, but candles always seem to be forgotten as they are not a necessity but they are great to have in the home as they provide a nice atmosphere. The colour and scent of the candles can be matched to the wedding theme and are sure to used by your guests long after the big day.

8. Shawls

It is hard to find warm outerwear that goes with your formal dress –  a shawl is the answer. This may be less suited to your male guests but you can always prepare a separate option for the gentlemen attending your special day.

 

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Wrap yourself in Love ? #pashminafavors #customtags #bridalshowerfavors #divinepartydisplay

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By Yashna Balwanth

Contrary to popular belief, being environmentally and socially responsible on your wedding day is easier and possibly cheaper than you think. What could possibly be more important than protecting the Earth? Small considerations can make a world of difference – like using seasonal and local flowers flowers instead of importing them.

Being eco-friendly is fashionable, will boost your eco-consciousness levels – and perhaps even turn a few guests into eco-warriors. We’ve put together a few conscious decisions to consider to make your special day more eco-friendly and your wallet a little happier.

Disposable confetti
Every bride wants to be showered in glittery confetti. In reality, you are throwing microplastics everywhere. An eco-friendlier alternative to this is to use biodegradable confetti which are made from flower petals. Or punch out confetti circles from leaves, colour them metallic and voilà. These are materials that still look as beautiful in pictures and will do exactly the same job.

 

Re-use wedding attire
Being eco-friendly also means finding more than one use for certain items, this includes wedding attire. By allowing your bridal party to choose their own style of dress within your colour palette, they will wear the dress again since it is something they have chosen for themselves. The bride’s dress can also be a vintage or pre-loved garment, perhaps handed down through generations. Don’t grow too attached to your wedding gown, you can have it altered once the wedding is over into two separate pieces of a top and skirt, then mix and match it within your closet for multiple uses.

 

Potted vs cut flowers
Cut flowers do not have a long lifespan. Why not opt for a potted centerpiece instead? These can also double up as wedding favours for guests to take home, which help save on costs. However, if you really do want cut flowers for decor, work with a company that can have the flowers reused after the function or even donated to a hospital or community centre.

 

Digital stationery
Let’s be real for a second… how many of us actually save wedding invites of friends and family? This is wasted paper and a waste of money printing invitations that still need to be hand delivered to guests. Besides the digital realm keeping us in touch with one another, it has also helped with invitations and notices to guests. Wedding websites can be set up for minimal costs and can also keep track of the guests who have rsvp’d and those who have not.

 

Food donations
It comes as no surprise that weddings attract a lot of wastage when it comes to food. Whether guests didn’t show up, or caterers over prepared, there is always waste of perfectly good food that shouldn’t be thrown away. Perhaps leftovers can be donated to a shelter for the homeless or even handed out to a nearby children’s school. Ensure your caterers are aware of your plans to donate so the food is not thrown out unintentionally.

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Like many of us dog lovers, I have a tendency to spoil our family dog, Bailey. How can you blame me, when he buries his nose in my couch looking for his old toys in such an adorable way? I love our guy, but the thing is, I’m skeptical about getting him new toys because he’s very particular: he only buries his favorite toys in the couch, but many of the rest of them just sit on the floor. When he was a puppy, I used to spend $40 per month on toys and treats alone (those bully sticks can get expensive)! But, in trying to find a (much) more wallet-friendly way to keep Bailey entertained, I found the absolute best gift you could get for any dog, any size, any personality.

Since your bridesmaids will have been accompanying you on this wedding-planning journey, preparing to hold your train and have tissues at the ready, it makes sense to spoil your BFFs with unique gifts that are thoughtful and, most importantly, functional. Here are our picks:

1. CUSTOMISED WINE

If your bridesmaids are vino lovers, buy them each a bottle of their favourite varietal with a ‘Thank you for being my bridesmaid’ label. They’ll no doubt enjoy the wine, but it’ll also be a sweet gesture they’ll want to display on their mantelpiece for years to come.

2. MONOGRAMMED COMPACT

A make-up compact is incredibly useful, yet something women hardly ever buy for themselves. Add a personal touch by embossing it with the bridesmaid’s initials.

3. SCREEN-PRINTED TOTE BAG

Tote bags are relatively inexpensive, and you can customise them to your heart’s content.

4. LIPSTICK

Every girl needs a signature lippie, right? Spoil your girls with a trip to a make-up shop to help them find a go-to colour that best suits their complexion, which they can sport on the day of the wedding.

5. BRIDESMAID EMERGENCY KIT

Fill a jar or make-up bag with girly essentials such as lip gloss, mints and a perfume sample, along with other handy items such as safety pins, plasters and a sewing kit.