wedding checklist Archives

One minute you’re admiring a ring on your finger. The next, everyone wants to know the date, the venue, the dress, the flowers, the guest list and whether you’ve chosen your first dance song.

Slow down. Getting engaged is a milestone in its own right, not simply the starting line for wedding planning. Yet it’s remarkable how quickly the excitement of saying “yes” can be replaced by a never-ending stream of questions.

“So… when’s the wedding?” For some couples, the answer comes easily. They’ve already been planning for months. Others would rather sit in this new chapter for a while before diving into spreadsheets, budgets and seating plans. And that’s more than okay.

Your engagement deserves its own moment

Think about it. The proposal itself is a story you’ll probably tell for decades. Maybe it happened on a mountain after an exhausting hike. Perhaps it was during a weekend away, over breakfast at home, or completely unexpectedly while walking the dog. Maybe everything went according to plan. Or maybe absolutely nothing did.

Those imperfect moments often become the best stories. Long after the wedding photos have been framed, you’ll still laugh about the ring almost falling into the ocean, someone accidentally interrupting the proposal, or how nervous your partner was that they could barely get the words out. It’s worth taking the time to enjoy that chapter before rushing into the next one.

There isn’t a deadline

Social media can make it feel as though engagements follow a strict timeline. Announcement photos. Venue booked. Dress shopping. Countdown begins.

Real life doesn’t work like that. Some couples marry within months. Others stay engaged for several years. Neither is more “correct” than the other.

There are countless reasons why you might want to wait before planning a wedding. Maybe you’re saving for the celebration you really want. Perhaps you’ve just bought a home or are focused on your careers. There could be family commitments, health concerns or a new baby on the way. Or maybe there isn’t a reason at all.

Maybe you’re simply enjoying being engaged. That’s reason enough.

Weddings are expensive

Let’s be honest. Weddings aren’t cheap. For many South African couples, planning a wedding also means saving for one. Rushing into deposits and big decisions before you’re financially comfortable can add unnecessary pressure to what’s supposed to be an exciting time.

Waiting a year — or even longer — doesn’t make your engagement any less meaningful. If anything, it gives you time to plan the day you actually want, rather than the day you feel pressured to have.

Set the pace together

One of the best things you can do early on is decide, as a couple, what works for you.

If you’re choosing to wait before planning, let people know politely but confidently. A simple “We’re enjoying being engaged for now, and we’ll share our plans when we’re ready” is often enough. Setting those boundaries now can make the entire wedding-planning journey feel a little less overwhelming later.

Don’t skip this chapter

It’s easy to think of an engagement as the bit between dating and getting married. But it deserves celebrating too.

Go on dates. Take engagement photos if you want to. Wear the ring proudly. Tell your proposal story for the hundredth time.

Dream about the future without feeling like every conversation has to end with a colour palette or venue tour. The wedding will come. For now, enjoy the fact that you’ve found your person. The planning can wait.

ALSO SEE: Old soul, new sparkle: How modern couples are reimagining heirloom engagement rings

Old soul, new sparkle: How modern couples are reimagining heirloom engagement rings

Feature image: Unsplash

Whether you are paying for the wedding yourselves or your parents are contributing, you will need to calculate how much money you have to spend. Once you have this figure, immediately set aside 5-10% of that for contingency.

Establishing and sticking to your budget is the best gift you can give yourself as a couple. In order to do this, you have to ensure that all your planning is documented. But before you start crunching numbers, think about the overall feeling you want your wedding to have as this will affect how you spend within your budget.

Do your research on vendors and get estimates on how much each thing will cost. This will include everything from venue to flowers to the dress and so on. Then get quotes from vendors and write it all down next to estimated costs.

Now that you know what kind of wedding you would like to have and how much money you have to spend, put together a rough guest list. The number of guests determines your venue, food and alcohol.

These are generally the largest expenses and a wise rule to follow is to allocate 40% of your budget to these three things.

It is time to discuss your non-negotiables with your partner (try to keep it down to three). These are things that you have always dreamed of having at your wedding and are willing to spend the money needed in order to achieve them. Research vendors and get quotes so that you can allocate it to the budget and then see how much is left to spend on the rest of the wedding. If you are already over budget based on your list, or close to the end of your budget, have a look at your priorities again and see what you can reduce.

Now that you’ve got all your quotes and guest list numbers, you can create the spreadsheet. You can get a template online or create your own but try to keep it as simple as possible. Put your overall sum in the top corner somewhere and then create these tabs: estimated, modified and actual.

Your estimated tab will be amounts that you have found based on research.

Modified will have real quotes from vendors.

Actual will be the final amount that you end up paying.

Time for a reality check – does your budget allow you to achieve what you want? If not, you may have to adjust your budget if that is an option or adjust your expectations.

Steps to take in order to ensure you stick to your budget:

Figure out how much you have to spend.
Research vendors and get quotes before settling on your budget.
Write a list including all researched costs and quotes from vendors.
Write down your proposed guest list
Create the spreadsheet and input all the relevant information.

Image: Unsplash