An American bride’s story has gone viral on social media after she cancelled her wedding but still had her wedding photoshoot. Her story has inspired many and has become an important symbol for choosing your own happiness first.
Chandley Brelsford from Reno, Nevada, took to Facebook to write a moving message that explains why she cancelled her June 8 wedding. Three weeks before her big day, she realised that she was not happy and that her fiancé was not the right man for her.
“The man I had fallen in love with was not the man I could call my husband. And it has shaken my character to its very core.” she writes. “The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our marriage would not be peaceful, supportive, and loving and it took 4 years for me to realize that this man was not right for me.”
When she first began dating her partner, she feel like the most special woman in the world. She viewed the relationship through rose-tinted glasses, ignoring multiple warning signs. She began making many sacrifices and dedicated most of her time to making the relationship work.
“I started my freshman year of college in Reno, but drove back to Sacramento every weekend to see him. He had told me he wouldn’t do long-distance, so I kept jobs close to his home and worked on the weekends. Every week, I would go to class and finish all my homework in Reno, then drive 2.5 hours over the mountains to work my shifts and see him. I would clean his home and buy our groceries. I would meal prep all our lunches for the week as well as any miscellaneous tasks that he asked of me. He would become very angry if I forgot little things, so I tried my best to do everything to his specifications. I wanted to prove how serious I was.”
She began walking on eggshells, dedicating every free moment to making sure her partner would not get mad at her. Brelsford also isolated herself from her friends, and gave up many of her dreams to accompany his wishes.
Their engagement was a happy moment, one she thought would improve things. However, nothing changed.
“My life was so perfect on the outside, but inside the depression was beginning to consume me.”
She decided to cancel the wedding after a particularly large fight broke out that took her to a dark place.
On the date that she was meant to get married, she put on her wedding dress and had her pre-scheduled wedding photoshoot by herself, in a symbol of choosing herself.
Credit: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford
“To all the women out there, no one is worth sacrificing what you hold dear. It doesn’t matter if he is good-looking or willing to spend money on you or promises you the whole world; if he does not show you respect now, then he never will. Love is blind.”
“Every person is deserving of a love that sets their soul on fire, as well as provides a place to rest when weary. This world is harsh sometimes, so hold onto those who are kind to you. For now, I will be focusing on myself, my goals, my faith, and my family and friends. I might be ready to get married again… some day, but not today.”
Read her inspiring message here:
Picture: Facebook / Chandley Brelsford
