We all hope for a smooth-sailing kind of wedding day, but of course, there’s always the odd chance that some drama will go down.

You might think no one would be rude enough to show up to a wedding uninvited, but it can happen. Rather have a game plan worked out on how to handle it than get caught off guard.

Here’s how to avoid having unwanted guests show up, and what to do if it happens.

1. Be clear on the wedding invitations

Firstly, make sure that you are very clear about who is invited when sending the wedding invitation. Sending one card to a family when you only intended to invite the parents, for instance, could cause a misunderstanding. The best way to avoid this is to put the names of your guests on the card, and state whether or not plus-ones and children are invited.

Here’s an example: Instead of saying “Dear Maxwell family”, rather say “Dear Julia and John, please join us in the celebration of our wedding. We regret, we are not able to accommodate children”.

2. Follow up on unwanted RSVPs

Should you receive an RSVP for someone who was not directly invited, you have the full right to contact the person and politely ask them not to come. This is most likely to happen in the case of invited guests who want to bring uninvited partners. Contact the invited partner, and gently but firmly say that you really do not have space for more people than invited.

3. Make a decision about whether to let them stay

Once you’ve done all the invitations right, there is still a chance that someone might show up out of the blue. A long-lost cousin you have no contact with might feel wronged and shows up to confront the family, or an ex-partner tries to interfere with your new relationship.

In cases like these, you need to decide whether you will force them to leave or let them stay and adopt a “the more the merrier”-attitude, provided there is no drama. You will probably be too caught up in your own fun and happiness to bother about the plus-one that snuck in after all. If it’s more serious than that, you should address it.

4. Speak up

Should the situation need sorting out, you will have to face the person and ask them to leave. It will probably be unpleasant, but it is needed. Be friendly and kind, and take your partner or a member of the bridal party with you. Take them aside in private and tell them that it’s wrong for them to be here. Here’s an example: “I’m really sorry I couldn’t invite you, but I feel that it’s better if you are not here today. Please leave the wedding, and we can talk more later.”

5. Know who to call

Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. If the uninvited guest for some reason refuses, you need to have backup. The person might be intoxicated, aggressive or just plain rude but you do not need that on your special day. If you have a wedding planner, call them for assistance. If not, call the venue security or the manager, and explain the situation. It might be a good idea to also save the nearest police station’s number too, just in case.

Picture: Unsplash

Times have changed and so have traditions. There’s no need for anything to be done simply because that’s the way it has always been done.

On your wedding and the days leading up to it, you want someone close to you to help you out. Whether it’s the planning, running errands on the day, organising a stellar bachelorette or simply getting excited with you, your bestie has got your back.

Your bestie may or may not be a man. No rule says your best friend needs to be the same gender as you.

In modern times, it’s completely acceptable for men and women to be good friends with members of the opposite sex, without being romantically involved. A mature relationship can handle each other’s friends without getting jealous.

So, if you’re tying the knot but you don’t feel you have a girlfriend that you are necessarily close to, why not ask your male friend to be your ‘man of honour’?

There’s no reason he can’t take you dress shopping, cake tasting or throw an epic kitchen tea. If you do, here are some things to keep in mind:

– Your partner comes first

Hopefully, your partner is also good friends with your best friend and respects your decision, as you will respect theirs. However, insisting on asking a friend that your partner may not get along with might hurt them. If there is a history between you and the male friend, for example, your partner might not like the idea of him sharing these personal moments with you. It would be wise to be open and honest with your partner before asking the friend.

– Your male best friend’s comfort comes second

Even if your partner is completely comfortable with the idea, your friend might not be. They may be more or less at ease with spending time discussing intimate details surrounding the dress, hair and makeup, the honeymoon etc. Or they might simply not enjoy doing those things, they could end up being bored and you will end up feeling neglected. Have a casual chat with them to test the waters before the big ask, unless you know them well enough to know they will say yes –  and have fun doing it too.

– Your family’s opinions should not influence you

Oftentimes, our family’s opinions tend to shape our decisions, even as adults. Your family might be more traditional than you, and it’s important to treat them with respect. However, this is your day and the way you choose to do things are up to you and your partner. So, if they frown upon your decision, either have an open discussion with them or ignore their input, but don’t change your mind for their sake. You deserve to be happy at this very special time in your life.

Picture: Pixabay