Advice Archives | Page 8 of 55

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Pros and cons of moving in together before marriage

November 12, 2020 No Comments

In previous decades, living together before marriage was a big taboo and completely unheard of. Following the sexual revolution of the 1960s and the growth of women’s autonomy, many couples choose to move in together as a step before marriage.

While some believe that moving in is a logical step before marriage is even considered, others still stand firm that it can hurt a relationship more than it can help. Here are some pros and cons to consider when deciding whether to move in.

Pros

– It is a good way to test a relationship

-You get to know your partner incredibly intimately

-It can be a step towards marriage if that is what you’re discussing

-Helps financially so you can split living costs

Cons

-It sometimes confuses the situation as one partner may expect it to mean marriage while the other just sees it as the next step

-It can break your relationship if you’re not ready

-It takes a little shine off the newlywed sparkle since you’ve already experienced living together

So? Should you do it?

While there are studies regarding the statistics on whether couples who move in make it, there is no real way to quantify or decide for each couple. A couple who has never moved in together could get married and realise they can’t stand living together just as easily as a couple could move in, get married later and live happily ever after. It is really about the two individuals and their relationship.

If you’re concerned, ask the following questions regarding the move before making the leap:

Why do you want to move in with your partner now?
If you don’t, consider asking yourself why not
Have you discussed what moving in signifies to each of you?
Are you prepared for the possibility that you may break-up even after moving in?
What are some deal-breakers you need to discuss before making this decision?

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In Advice

How to include your blended family on your wedding

November 12, 2020 No Comments

Parenthood doesn’t require DNA and some people already have children, either from a previous relationship or before marriage. When they decide to marry other people and bring their families together, they create a blended family.

Bringing your families together and including them in your big day is a sweet way to honour them. Here are some ways to do it, and make sure no one feels neglected or left out.

Have a unity Ceremony

Unity ceremonies are meaningful rituals performed during your wedding to represent becoming a union and the joining of lives, families and communities. Being highly symbolic, there are multiple ways you can do this, which can be personalised to your new family. One idea is to write meaningful letters to each other and read them out during the ceremony, then put them in a jar to keep as a family symbol.

Give them roles

Another way you can include your blended family is by assigning them roles. From a ring bearer to a flower girl, the possibilities are endless. This is guaranteed to make them feel included in the ceremony and when you are all looking at the wedding album, they will be delighted to see themselves featured and having participated.

Give them gift

Gifting is one of the five universal love languages, it shows the next person that you have thought of them and value them enough to gift them. Give them the same or similar gifts to your biological kids, or get them something they have always wanted.

Presenting something special to your new child/children is a wonderful gesture to symbolise that they are an important part of this new family.

Include them in the planning

Kids love doing exciting things, to them everything is playtime and by including them in the planning process, you get the chance to bond with them. Let them participate in everything from cake tasting to licking invitation envelopes.

Encourage them to invite a few of their best friends and their family members to the wedding so that they have familiar faces apart from you.

Have a family dance

After the first dance, invite the kids to come out and join you on the dance floor to their favourite tune. It would be extra fun and special if you practiced a dance prior to the wedding. You can even give them the task of coming up with the steps to our dance routine as the kids of the family.

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In Advice

Should you consider having a ‘man of honour’?

November 12, 2020 No Comments

Times have changed and so have traditions. There’s no need for anything to be done simply because that’s the way it has always been done.

On your wedding and the days leading up to it, you want someone close to you to help you out. Whether it’s the planning, running errands on the day, organising a stellar bachelorette or simply getting excited with you, your bestie has got your back.

Your bestie may or may not be a man. No rule says your best friend needs to be the same gender as you.

In modern times, it’s completely acceptable for men and women to be good friends with members of the opposite sex, without being romantically involved. A mature relationship can handle each other’s friends without getting jealous.

So, if you’re tying the knot but you don’t feel you have a girlfriend that you are necessarily close to, why not ask your male friend to be your ‘man of honour’?

There’s no reason he can’t take you dress shopping, cake tasting or throw an epic kitchen tea. If you do, here are some things to keep in mind:

– Your partner comes first

Hopefully, your partner is also good friends with your best friend and respects your decision, as you will respect theirs. However, insisting on asking a friend that your partner may not get along with might hurt them. If there is a history between you and the male friend, for example, your partner might not like the idea of him sharing these personal moments with you. It would be wise to be open and honest with your partner before asking the friend.

– Your male best friend’s comfort comes second

Even if your partner is completely comfortable with the idea, your friend might not be. They may be more or less at ease with spending time discussing intimate details surrounding the dress, hair and makeup, the honeymoon etc. Or they might simply not enjoy doing those things, they could end up being bored and you will end up feeling neglected. Have a casual chat with them to test the waters before the big ask, unless you know them well enough to know they will say yes – and have fun doing it too.

– Your family’s opinions should not influence you

Oftentimes, our family’s opinions tend to shape our decisions, even as adults. Your family might be more traditional than you, and it’s important to treat them with respect. However, this is your day and the way you choose to do things are up to you and your partner. So, if they frown upon your decision, either have an open discussion with them or ignore their input, but don’t change your mind for their sake. You deserve to be happy at this very special time in your life.

Picture: Pixabay

In Advice

How to get your guests dancing on your big day

November 11, 2020 No Comments

A wedding is the perfect time to put on your dancing shoes and to cut loose. However, not everyone is that keen to bust out the moves.

Some may need further encouragement to get footloose. Beyond this, getting the party started can be quite physically taxing. With all that gyrating, it’s easy to get tuckered out quickly. It’s best to look out for your guests by offering some dancing relief. Here are a few ideas.

Welcome with some liquid courage

The best way to get people to dance is to get them feeling relaxed first. This is where old faithful alcohol comes in. Serving shots of tequila as a welcome drink is a great way to get the party started and encourage your guests to leave their morals at the door. An open bar will go even further, but may get your guests feeling a bit too confident.

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Play a mix of music

Ariana Grande isn’t everybody’s cup of tea and not everyone is down to clown to some Drake. You’ll need your live band or DJ to perform a healthy mix of music genres, from pop and rap to golden oldies and slow tunes. This way, you appeal to everyone. Plus, no one can resist a cheesy one-hit wonder.

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Offer ‘dancing shoes’

Have you ever danced in stiletto heels? It’s not a fun time. Balancing on these high heels while twerking to Cardi B might lead to a few falls, so it’s best to offer alternative footwear. A cute idea is to have a ‘dancing shoes’ stand where guests can grab a pair of flip flops before heading out onto the dance floor. Place them in different bins based on size, so that everyone has a shoe that will fit. Make sure the flip flops are brand new for hygiene reasons, and place a sign saying that each guest should keep their pair for the night to avoid people chopping and changing flip flops.

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Have a ‘cool down’ zone

After dancing up a storm, you’ll probably be sweating quite a bit. Have a dedicated ‘cool down’ zone alongside your traditional seating, where your guests can rest their weary feet. Offer tons of seating, cute handheld fans and refreshing fruit-infused water to help them rest up before they take to the floor for round 2.

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In Advice

How to ask for cash instead of physical wedding gifts

November 9, 2020 No Comments

Planning a wedding is expensive, not to mention the honeymoon and the new life you’ll build together afterward. It’s easily understandable why many couples would prefer a cash gift instead of a physical gift on their wedding day.

It can sometimes feel a bit classless to ask for money, but it doesn’t need to be. However, it’s important to do it the right way to avoid offending some older family members or putting pressure on anyone to contribute more than they were originally willing to spend on a gift.

Here are some tips to get that big tip at the end of your big day:

Don’t ask for money on your wedding invitation

The wedding invitation is to introduce your upcoming union and is all about the good vibes. Adding a clause that you’re expecting cash from your guests can be construed a bit tasteless. Instead, set up a wedding website where you can include a link to a cash registry or banking details of an account set up specifically for the cash gifts.

Let your guests know how you plan to spend the money

While you don’t owe anyone an explanation, giving your guests a general idea of how you plan to spend the money might make them more willing to contribute. For example, if it’s a honeymoon fund for a dream vacation or house renovations fund, your guests will know that their money is going toward something important.

It could also be a good idea to set up a specific target amount, with a live tracker displaying how close you are to your goal. Some might feel even more willing to contribute if they know you are closer to reaching your dream.

Use a cash registry

If you feel awkward asking for money outright, you can easily direct your guests to your cash registry on your wedding website. There are sites that run it all for you, so all you need to do is fill in the details and add the link, and voilà. Try out South African sites like Wrapistry or Gift Tree.

Set up cash boxes at your reception

Some people don’t trust online banking or are simply not technologically-savvy. Give your older guests an in-person option by setting up a cash donation box at your reception. You’ll need your wedding planner or a minder to keep an eye over the box throughout the evening to make sure the money stays safe.

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In Advice

Summer-inspired escort cards that will brighten your guests’ day

November 6, 2020 No Comments

Summer is officially here in the Mother City, bringing with it happier days and tons of sunshine. The season offers so many fun themes to explore for a wedding day.

When you think of summer, what comes to mind? For us, it’s the sea, delicious cocktails, and lush green gardens. The pictures that spring to mind can easily be expanded on to create fun summer-inspired escort cards.

From seashells and coconuts to oyster shucking knives and potted plants, there are so many easily accessible items you can use to add a bright and seasonal twist to your day.

Here are some unique options to be inspired by:

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A post shared by Love Always, Me (@lovealways.me) on Jun 30, 2016 at 4:05am PDT

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A post shared by shay | hand lettered market (@handletteredmarket) on Nov 21, 2019 at 6:15pm PST

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In Advice

Wedding favours that won’t break the bank

November 6, 2020 No Comments

Wedding favours are a sweet way to show your guests your appreciation for sharing in your special day. While not essential, it is a nice touch to give your guests an exciting send-off.

Anyone who has planned a wedding before knows how expensive it can be. Things add up quickly and unexpected costs can crop up at any minute, so it’s best to be financially savvy where you can be.

If you’re working with a tight budget, fear not. There are tons of affordable wedding favour options to incorporate into your big day. Some of them are easily DIYable, which means you save on labour too.

From seedlings to tea, hangover kits made of mini bottles of water and painkillers, to DIY tic tac toe, you can make a wedding favour out of pretty much any common household item.

Here are some ideas that won’t break the bank:

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In Advice

To hire a wedding planner or DIY?

November 6, 2020 No Comments

With a million things to decide on, from cakes, decor, and venue amongst others, making the decision whether to hire a wedding planner or to do everything yourself is a tricky decision.

The logistics can take away from the thrill of enjoying your big day. It’s no wonder so many choose to hire a wedding planner to plan their big day so they can focus on the fun.

While wedding planners are more experienced and flexible, those who want 100% control will probably be better doing doing it themselves.

If you enjoy planning and doing things yourself then, by all means, you should plan your wedding. This can also be another way to save money because it will cost you less than having to pay a professional.

Here are the pros and cons of hiring a planner.

The Pros

– Your wedding will have an expert look to give it the extra flair and beauty

– You will not worry about things going wrong, because that is not your responsibility

– Pros already know who to call and for what to make your big day amazing

– Your budget gets a professional eye and you will get a fresh perspective of ideas

The Cons

– You will lose some control over the planning of your own wedding

– You will spend more money paying a professional than you would if you were doing it yourself

– You may have a difficult time trusting someone with every detail, and have disagreements from time to time

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In Advice

Choosing the best suit style for your body type

November 5, 2020 No Comments

Unsure of what suit will fit you best? It’s important to choose the right style and wear what flatters your shape most. Looking good is guaranteed to make you feel good!

Take a look at these tips and tricks to find the perfect fit for you.

Slender and tall

Tall men often have trouble finding pants that cover their ankles completely. Make sure your pants are the right length, as pants that are too short will seem skimpy. Alternatively, you cold opt for ankle grazers which are meant to be shorter and end just above the ankles. If you are slim and want to add more texture to your shape, opt for a blazer with padded shoulders. Dark colours work well with taller postures.

Muscular

If you are a fitness enthusiast and have the muscles to prove it, you could possibly wear any style and rock it. However, remember to choose the right size. Buying too small to enhance your muscles is not smart. You will feel uncomfortable and there is always the risk of popping buttons. The correct size will set you off just fine.

Short and bulky

Go for smooth textures, without too many bells and whistles. The idea is to make you look taller, so opt for vertical stripes or buttoned blazers. Make sure the pant legs are not too long and don’t scrunch at the bottom. Rather get them hemmed if you can’t find a size that fits the waist and legs equally well.

Slender and short

If you have a small frame, you get to go all out. Lighter colours will make you appear larger and stylish accessories will be pleasing to the eye. A bit of extra shoulder padding will also go a long way, and keep an eye out for shoes with a slightly raised sole.

Large

If you are more man than muscle, fret not. Dress smartly in slimming colours like navy and charcoal, and avoid attracting attention to your waistline. Vests are flattering and will conceal any insecurities. Make sure your pants fit nice and snug, not baggy as that will make you seem bigger. The right size is key.

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In Advice

Simple yet chic wedding hairstyles to wow the crowd

November 4, 2020 No Comments

While many brides want to be different on their special day, your hair is not something you need to be unique.

There is no need to go crazy with a wedding hairstyle. In 20 years time, you don’t want to look back at your wedding pictures and hate your hairstyle. Sometimes, a classic look is best.

Soft flowing waves or a chic chignon are popular for a reason. They are eternally glamorous styles that have been in fashion for decades.

Whether you want your hair up or down, a simple hairstyle can quickly be elevated by adding a fun hair accessory. From a flower crown to jewel-encrusted clips, choose a look that goes with the overall vibe you have in mind. This way, you have the classic look with a little something for added personality.

Take some inspiration from these brides.

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