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    Getting cold feet before your wedding day can be disastrous. Getting married is a major life step and it’s natural that doubts will creep in, but a full change of heart is a huge issue.

    While the phrase is common in the English language, it is often related to engaged couples who experience a sudden change of feelings. But where does this saying come from? As with any tradition in the wedding world, it has a unique and complicated origin.

    Having ‘cold feet’ can refer to any instance in which someone loses courage or confidence for a specific event. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest use of the phrase can be attributed to writer and poet Stephen Crane.

    In the 1896 edition of “Maggie: A Girl of the Streets,”, the author wrote: “I knew this was the way it would be. They got cold feet.”

    By the early 1990s, the phrase entered the common lexicon and was mostly used on college campuses before the term ‘coldfooter’ became synonymous with those too afraid to fight in the Great War.

    Soon, the saying extended to more spheres of society and became common parlance. It became especially popular in the wedding world in the 1990s after the film ‘Runaway Bride’ premiered.

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    Disagreeing with someone you love is never fun. Having conflicting feelings and opinions can often leave you feeling misunderstood or unloved. Your feelings are valid, but it’s also important to remember that sometimes, having an argument is the best thing for your marriage.

    While it’s not always pleasant, arguing is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship. People won’t get along 100% of the time, and things are bound to end up in a disagreement at some point. Conflict can help couples understand each other more deeply and gain empathy for one another.

    Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t shy away from an argument:

    Arguing prevents issues from building up

    If something bothers you, the best thing to do is to bring it up with your partner. Otherwise, it will grow and grow as you bottle up your frustrations, which will ultimately cause you to become resentful and eventually blow up. This can make the situation much worse than it ever needed to be.

    Fighting keeps couples honest and accountable

    When we argue, we reveal new facets of ourselves. It can help you realise how much you care about a particular topic, which in turn will help your partner understand you and your worldview more.

    At the same time, having disagreements also exposes our shortcomings. Something you do and doesn’t give a second thought could be causing your partner frustration, and by arguing about it you learn about it. Criticism can help you grow and become a better person.

    Fighting is an opportunity to better your communication

    An argument can easily become tense when couples lead with anger. Instead, use this conflict as an opportunity to communicate more effectively. The focus should be on how you resolve your arguments in a healthy way.

    Avoid insults and screaming, and focus on listening instead. Laying down your thoughts in a calm manner will help de-escalate a situation and show maturity.

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    Counselling might seem like it’s only for those who have been married for a while and are struggling. However, if you’d like to avoid this fate, it is recommended you try pre-marital counselling.

    This isn’t to say you need it because your marriage is likely to be doomed but rather, it can help couples identify their stances on some important things that many often don’t realise they even need to discuss.

    Here are some areas you should consider talking about with a therapist before getting married:

    Conflict resolution 

    While it is likely you’ve been together for a bit of time and had your fair share of fights, conflict is a bit different when you’re married. This is mostly because you can’t just break up, you have to stick it out.

    With your counsellor you can discuss how you can fight and resolve your fights in a more constructive manner than you may have previously been doing.

    Sex expectations

    Again, you may have been having great sex for a while but going into a marriage can mean different expectations, especially since this is the most time you’ll be spending together.

    A counsellor can help you openly discuss the expectations you have for sex in married life and work on ways to carry communication in this arena forward.

    Division of labour 

    Some couples move in together before marriage so discussing how to divide up the chores but for those who don’t or those who haven’t managed to communicate this properly, discussing it with a counsellor can help.

    Even though you could do this on your own, having a third neutral party makes it easier in the case you feel that the other person is being unfair or not shouldering enough responsibility.

    Finances 

    This is a big one. No matter what kind of contract you sign, discussing finances is vital. Money is a hard topic for most people and not knowing your partners’ financial situation and expectations is guaranteed to cause problems later down the line.

    Since money is such a touchy subject it is a lot easier to discuss it with another person who can help you set boundaries and find a common ground to build from.

    The kid question

    While the big overarching question of whether you should have kids might have been broached, more nuanced discussions on whether you want more than one and how you hope to raise them can be discussed with a counsellor.

    You can also look early at how kids will affect your life, without just being thrown into it.

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    Black Friday is fast approaching, and savvy brides should use this day of savings to prep for their big day. With the stress of planning a wedding, why not spoil yourself with some skincare? This way, you’ll be looking and feeling great come your big day.

    There are many local beauty and skincare brands offering special deals this Black Friday. Here are a few of our favourites.

    Swiitch Beauty

    Swiitch Beauty is a South African beauty brand born out of the internet. From blush palettes to brow gel, their products are designed to enhance natural beauty. They’re also incredibly affordable and aesthetically pleasing to boot.

    They are hosting Swiitch Week from 23-30 November, during which almost all their items are on sale. This is their biggest sale of the year, so make sure you don’t miss out!

    SKIN Functional

     

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    SKIN functional offers a range of products expertly formulated using optimal concentrations of effective and trusted ingredients to restore and maintain the skin’s ideal functioning. The brand was created to demystify skincare jargon and misinformation to deliver honorable “skintelligence”.

    Take steps to a better skincare routine by splurging on  SKIN functional’s 20% off sale, running from 22-30 November. At checkout, type sale20 in the coupon code text box, click ‘apply coupon’ and the discount will automatically be applied then proceed to checkout.

    Thoclor Labs

     

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    Thoclor Labs is a Biotechnology Company dedicated to blending the powers of medical science with the miracles of nature. They develop and produce the world’s most advanced skin aftercare treatments and revolutionary skin rejuvenation products.

    The GF Skin Series developed by Thoclor Labs, and backed by extensive research, makes the quest for youthful healthy skin a reality. Combining rejuvenation with healing means that our products are proven to give you the best skin possible.

    At Thoclor Labs you have an option to sign up for a 6 month GF2 subscription, where you receive 6 bottles of GF2 and pay for only 5. Your 6th bottle will be delivered for no charge at the end of your subscription. Free courier delivery included for every bottle. 
    In addition to the free bottle (you normally receive with your subscription) the Black Friday special is 15% off the subscription which basically equates to double the discount.

    Lulu & Marula

     

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    Lulu and Marula is a natural, ethically produced cruelty-free skin and body care collection developed in Cape Town by Jesslynn Shepherd. It focuses on clean, simple and sustainable ingredients that are free from artificial colours, fragrances, parabens, petrochemicals, synthetics or other harmful ingredients.

    They will be running their Annual Give Back Friday initiative over Black Friday Weekend. Lulu & Marula has partnered with their Marula Oil supplier to raise money from all online purchases over the Black Friday weekend which will go towards planting new Marula trees. They will be offering all online customers 20% off their purchase, and donating 20% of their purchase to the Marula tree planting initiative. The promotion runs from Friday morning (November 27) until Sunday evening (November 29). To date, Lulu & Marula has planted over 300 Marula trees through the initiative!

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    Carrying a bridal bouquet has been a time-honoured tradition for centuries. In Ancient Rome, brides would carry flowers as they were believed to signify new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility.

    During the Victorian Era, the act of giving and receiving flowers came to be known as an expression of love. As they were then linked to love and romance, they increasingly became incorportated into weddings.

    Flowers all carry their own special meaning, although many modern brides simply opt for the ones they find the most visually pleasing. While classic white lilies or romantic red roses are always in style, we have been loving explosions of colour. Vibrant shades of pinks, yellows and blues offer so much life and personality to your bridal bouquet.

    You have two options when opting for this colourful creation. Pick complementary shades of pinks, reds and oranges and calm them down with white flowers, or go big with all the primary coloured-flowers you can find.

    Here are some floral bouquets to inspire your own:

     

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    2020. The year we spent indoors. Now, summer is here, and with restrictions having eased somewhat we’re finding ourselves more inclined to spend time outdoors in the sunshine.

    “While it’s important to remember that COVID-19 is by no means behind us, and all safety precautions such as mask-wearing, sanitising and social distancing should be adhered to when out and about, bidding farewell to this year while enjoying the great outdoors our country has to offer is something to celebrate,” acknowledges Themba Ndlovu, Clere For Men and Clere For Men Active brand manager.

    He adds that when spending time outside it’s important to take your skin into account. “Summer can be harsh on your skin if you don’t prep it or look after it properly. The heat, air pollution, perspiration and excess oil build up are the not so nice side effects of the season. This is where skincare comes in. It’s important to switch up your skincare routine as and when your skin requirements change.”

    Ndlovu advises on what you should focus on when it comes to your skin this summer:

    Eat healthy: You must have heard that you are what you eat. This may sound clichéd but it’s true your skin is directly impacted by your diet and the lifestyle choices you make. Avoid oily, fried food. Get your glow with proteins, Vitamins A and C. A yoghurt smoothie with fruits such as strawberries and apple is a great way to start your day.

    Wash your face: Maintaining a clean face is key year-round, but because the heat makes you sweat more, keeping pores unclogged is more challenging during summer. A deep-cleaning face wash formulated for daily use will help free your skin of dirt build up without drying it out. Once daily is enough but add a second wash on extra active afternoons.

    Moisturise: Although our skin tends to become oiler in summer and perspiration increases this doesn’t mean you should skimp on moisturiser. In fact, the drier you leave your skin, the more oil it will generate naturally to compensate. The speediest route to summer skin? Internal hydration by drinking water and external by applying moisturiser. Apply a moisturiser daily, preferably one that offer long-lasting moisturisation. Both Clere For Men and Clere For Men Active lotions and crèmes will help moisturise your skin for up to 48 hours keeping your skin healthy and looking its best.

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    Grooms want to go bold on their big day should opt for a white suit. Crisp, classic, and cool, this look is enduringly stylish.

    A white suit works for almost all seasons. It complements a winter wedding and adds a lighter feel to go along with a summer soiree. What’s great about a white suit is that it looks great in any style, from a classic tuxedo to an edgy double-breast.

    You can opt for white from head to toe, or bring in some dimension with a coloured shirt or suit lapel. The beauty of this look is that it is easily customisable.

    Here are some dapper grooms doing it big:

     

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    You never know how a wedding will affect you until you plan your own. Even the calmest and collected people can turn into bridezillas when the stress hits.

    Everyone is bound to be overwhelmed in the months and days leading up to their big day. For those who believe in the astrological powers of the zodiac, their signs might have a big impact on how you behave come wedding day.

    Here is what kind of bride you’ll be based on your zodiac sign.

    Aries (March 21–April 19)

    No one is more trendy than an Aries individual. As the first sign of the zodiac, they love to lead the way and be trailblazers, so nothing normal can be predicted with them

    The Aries bride will opt for an unusual element to give their big day a talking point, like arriving on a balloon ride or by skydiving. However, like the ram it is symbolised by, Arians tend to have quick tempers you don’t want to be caught up in. They are also overly competitive, so the Aries bride will work extra hard to have the best wedding ever just for the bragging rights.

    Taurus (April 20–May 20)

    Practical yet stubborn, Taureans are classic Earth signs. They tend to be perfectionists, but are also traditionalists at heart.

    This sign likes things in order, and will likely hire a wedding planner to make sure all goes to plan. They hate being rushed, so avoid putting any unnecessary pressure on them so that they don’t explode. They can also be very set in their ways, so trying to convince them otherwise is a mission in itself.

    Gemini (May 21–June 20)

    Gemini’s can be hard to pin down. They are indecisive in nature, intelligent and outgoing yet impulsive and unreliable. They are also ruled by Mercury, the planet of communications.

    The Gemini bride is all over the place. Gemini changes their minds in a heartbeat, causing them to make reckless decisions. Because of this, they can be quite unreliable so it’s fair to say that this bride will infuriate others as she flips flops on wedding plans.

    Cancer (June 21–July 22)

    Highly emotional and introverted, Cancers are known for being one with their feelings. They are incredibly loyal and caring, so having their love means you will always be protected.

    Being so emotional, the Cancer bride will focus on family on their big day. Their something borrowed will be extra special, and they will carry out traditions to honour their loved ones. However, Cancer signs can be quite moody and overly sensitive, so this bride will have quite a few swings as she prepares for her big day.

    Leo (July 23–August 22)

    Much like the king of the jungle, Leos are passionate and confident beings. They are bold personalities who like to make a statement. These trendsetters like to lead the way and would opt for something unique and daring on their big day.

    The Leo bride is determined to have her way and will surprise her guests with something different. However, she is also stubborn and struggles to accept criticism because of her over-confidence, so she might not be very receptive to alternative suggestions.

    Virgo (August 23–September 22)

    Virgos are practical perfectionists. Logical and dependable, this Earth sign is known for taking a systematic approach to life. Their style tends to be modest, simple, and polished, just like they are.

    The Virgo bride’s wedding will be just like her: perfect. Every hair will be in place because she managed down to every fine detail. She is on top of everything and anticipates issues before they even arise. However, Virgo’s also tend to be very picky and overthink everything, making settling on ideas much harder.

    Libra (September 23–October 22)

    Like Taureans, Libras are also ruled by Venus, the planet that governs love, beauty, and money. Fun, caring, and fair, they make for excellent friends.

    As a natural peacemaker, the Libra bride will be incredibly tactful and diplomatic when working with others to plan their big day. However, their indecisiveness and inability to confront situations may cause their dream wedding to slip away as they work to please everyone else.

    Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

    Scorpios tend to be very private in nature and hate to be the centre of attention. However, as the most passionate signs of the zodiac, they love to express their feelings and give in to pleasure.

    Intensely goal-oriented and brave, the Scorpio bride will not hold back if they want something. However, this sign also tends to be jealous, stubborn, and controlling, so anyone trying to interfere with their plans will face their vicious sting.

    Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

    Of all the zodiac signs, Sagittarius individuals are usually the most fun. Free-spirited and independent, they love to roam free and explore the various facets of the world and life.

    While their independence is what makes them so lovable, it is also their greatest weakness. Sagittarians get bored easily and like to do things their own way. They are also prone to egotism, so the Sag bride can easily get frustrated if someone is not in support of their unusual ideas.

    Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

    Capricorns are the classy sign. They are typically very grounded and thoughtful, preferring the simpler things in life. They are also incredibly hardworking

    Being the independent and determined type, the Capricorn bride will not rest until she has reached her goal, or in this case her dream wedding. She will meticulously plan everything and will expect just as much from those around her because of her high standards.

    Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

    Unique, artistic, and idealistic, Aquarians seem to always be lost in their thoughts. Represented by the water bearer, the mystical healer who bestows water, or life upon the land, they are easy-going and fun yet graceful and bold.

    With their progressive nature, the aquarian bride will do something different for her big day. This unique gesture will be incredibly thought out and symbolic, but their love of thinking outside of the box might lead to an idea too big to execute in reality. Aquarians also tend to have quick tempers, so this might cause them to snap easily if things don’t work out.

    Pisces (February 19–March 20)

    Pisces individuals are dreamers, often at odds with fantasy and reality. Those with this complex sign tend to be empathetic, compassionate, and sensitive but also overly emotional, impressionable, and closed off.

    Approach this bride with caution. She will want something unique for her big day, and to incorporate everyone because of her generous and compassionate nature. However, she is easily swayed which can overwhelm her, causing her to get upset and shut down.

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    Weddings are pretty cut and dry with their general structure, so why not cut loose and do something different where you can? While a small part of your overall day, your escort cards can bring an event to life.

    Escort cards are small items designed to lead your guests to their tables. Traditionally, a simple name card would suffice but many modern couples are looking to inject their personality and humour into their big day.

    Get creative and offer something to remember with your escort cards. These days, anything and everything could work. From miniature skateboards to coffee cups and even dinosaur figurines, the possibilities are truly endless.

    Here are a few fun and funky escort cards we’ve found:

     

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    Love a fun escort card situation so naturally we were wild about these gold party animals! ?

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    In previous decades, living together before marriage was a big taboo and completely unheard of. Following the sexual revolution of the 1960s and the growth of women’s autonomy, many couples choose to move in together as a step before marriage.

    While some believe that moving in is a logical step before marriage is even considered, others still stand firm that it can hurt a relationship more than it can help. Here are some pros and cons to consider when deciding whether to move in.

    Pros 

    – It is a good way to test a relationship

    -You get to know your partner incredibly intimately

    -It can be a step towards marriage if that is what you’re discussing

    -Helps financially so you can split living costs

    Cons 

    -It sometimes confuses the situation as one partner may expect it to mean marriage while the other just sees it as the next step

    -It can break your relationship if you’re not ready

    -It takes a little shine off the newlywed sparkle since you’ve already experienced living together

    So? Should you do it? 

    While there are studies regarding the statistics on whether couples who move in make it, there is no real way to quantify or decide for each couple. A couple who has never moved in together could get married and realise they can’t stand living together just as easily as a couple could move in, get married later and live happily ever after. It is really about the two individuals and their relationship.

    If you’re concerned, ask the following questions regarding the move before making the leap:

    1. Why do you want to move in with your partner now?
    2. If you don’t, consider asking yourself why not
    3. Have you discussed what moving in signifies to each of you?
    4. Are you prepared for the possibility that you may break-up even after moving in?
    5. What are some deal-breakers you need to discuss before making this decision?

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