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In Advice

How to elope – legally

November 14, 2019 No Comments

When you think of elopements, visions of secret romantic getaways spring to mind. A day of shared love with you and your partner is endlessly meaningful and simple. However, that doesn’t mean it will be effortless. While often marketed as the easy option, there are still a number of variables to consider when opting to elope. Here is what you need to know.

Legality in South Africa:

The solemnisation and registration of civil marriages, customary marriages and civil unions are all managed by South Africa’s Department of Home Affairs. As a South African citizen, your marriage has to go through the necessary paperwork in order to be legal.

In order to receive a marriage licence, you must:

– ensure that you are legally allowed to marry

– understand the legal consequences of a marriage, particularly that marriages in South Africa are automatically in community of property, unless a valid ante-nuptial contract has been entered into before the marriage, and

– make sure that your marriage will comply with all the legal requirements for a valid marriage.

Necessary documents:

On the day of your wedding, the following documents must be produced:

– Identity documents for each person getting married

– If a foreign national is marrying a South African citizen, they should both present their valid passports as well as well as a completed BI-31 Form (Declaration for the Purpose of Marriage, Letter of no impediment)

– If the wedding is for a minor (a person under the age of 18 years), the written consent of both parents/ legal guardian or the Commissioner of Child Welfare or a judge should be submitted on Form DHA-32 as well. If the minors getting married are under the ages of 18 for boys or 15 for girls, the written consent from the Minister of Home Affairs will also be required

– If any of the persons getting married are divorced, then the final decree of divorce should be furnished

– If any of the persons getting married are widowed, the deceased spouse’s death certificate must be submitted.

A Home Affairs-wedding requires at least two witnesses. These witnesses and the marriage officer must then sign the marriage register following the solemnisation of a marriage. The marriage officer will issue the parties with a handwritten marriage certificate (BI-27) free of charge. The marriage officer must then submit the marriage register to the nearest office of the Department of Home Affairs, where the marriage details will be recorded in the National Population Register (NPR).

Marrying abroad:

If you want to marry abroad, you will be subject to the laws of that particular country, so it is of utmost importance to research their specific requirements at their official embassy. In most cases, you will be required to submit a Letter of No Impediment (LNI). The LNI is a certificate issued by the Department of Home Affairs Head Office to confirm the current marital status of an individual and that they are free to marry.

Application forms can be submitted to the Department of Home Affairs or an SA High Commission office. If you are divorced, you will have to submit your decree of divorce along with your application. It can take up to six months to receive your letter depending on processing time, so the earlier you can apply, the better. The certificate is valid for six months from the date of issuing.

Importantly, it must be issued by the Department of Home Affairs Head Office, not a Regional Home Affairs Office, in order to ensure legality. The LNI can only be legalised if an original, official Home Affairs letterhead, signed and stamped by the authorised Home Affairs official (Head Office only) has been provided.

Image: Unsplash

In Advice

Groomsmen pranks for an extra memorable day

November 14, 2019 No Comments

Pranking the groom on his wedding day can be risky business. He is likely already on edge and any small thing could set him off. If you’re planning on pranking the groom, be sure to tread carefully. After all, you don’t want to be the guy who ruins the day for the groom. “Harmless” is the mood you should aim for with your pranks.

What is a harmless prank, you ask? At a wedding, a harmless prank is anything that doesn’t offend the couple, doesn’t affect the day overall, and doesn’t come across as disrespectful.

If you’re looking for a few ideas, we’ve got some for you.

– “You’re late!!”

While the groom is asleep, change the time on his watch and phone. Set the time two or three hours ahead. Make sure you wake up bright and early to wake him up. Frantically run into his room the morning of the wedding shouting about how late he is. When he checks the time, he’ll panic too. Little does he know, he is not late at all.

– “You’re a joke”

This is not so much a prank, but usually gets people laughing. If you’re giving a speech, all you need to do is throw in tons of embarrassing stories about the groom. Another classic groomsman move.

If you want something a bit more risky, we’ve got two ideas for you. But be warned, pranks during the ceremony may not be well received, no matter how harmless. If you’re doing this, be certain that you know the groom AND BRIDE will take it well.

– “That’s not the ring!”

When the time comes to hand over the ring to the groom, hand him a toy ring or a ring pop instead. This is sure to catch everyone’s attention.

– “A for effort”

Get the other groomsmen in on this one. Each groomsman should hide a number written in bold inside their jackets. After the couple’s first kiss, get the guys to reveal the numbers as if they’re rating the kiss or giving it a score.

Finally, take a look at these two perfectly executed pranks on the groom, and decide if you have the pre-planning skills to pull them off:

– Best Man replaces bride in first look photoshoot

Groom-to-be Keegan prepares himself to see his beautiful bride for the first time. He is nervous and excited and surely can’t wait to see her. Little does he know, he is in for the surprise of his life. When he turns around, its not his bride but rather his best man in a wedding dress! If you’re going to try this one, you’ll have to get the bride in on it…and buy a wedding dress.

– Best man replaces groom’s suit

Best man Colm Carberry went out of his way to pull this prank on his brother. He requested that the suit company tailor a suit exactly like his brother’s, but two sizes smaller. He switched the real suit with the smaller one, and he set up a camera to catch his brother’s reaction to the extra small suit.

Which prank will you try?

Image: Unsplash

In Advice

Bride invites strangers to plan her wedding

November 14, 2019 No Comments

There are few things in life people will not give unsolicited advice on. From the way you should wear your hair to how to raise a child, strangers are always willing to offload their opinions on someone listening with half an ear. Anyone who has been a bride has experienced the earache of such opinions. This bride decided to give all these strangers what they so deeply want by letting them plan her wedding to the last detail.

Jen Glantz is no stranger to the wedding world. She is a professional bridesmaid and founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, the world’s first and only company where strangers can hire a bridesmaid to fulfill all necessary wedding-related duties. After being the bridesmaid in countless weddings, her time has finally come to walk down the aisle as a bride.

Glantz was inspired to put her wedding in the public’s hands whilst getting a manicure. Her manicurist noticed her engagement ring and immediately began listing wedding advice. A few days later, Glantz’s new website, Finally the Bride, was born, inviting strangers the world over to vote in polls categorised to represent every aspect of her wedding.

“Finally the Bride is an interactive book, released chapter-by-chapter, where you’re a part of the story,” reads the site. “You can vote on Jen’s biggest wedding decisions, share tips that can end up in the book, perhaps even find yourself as a main character in one of the stories (cough, cough, become her bridesmaid).

On the 15th of every month, new polls will open up in which strangers can decide how Glantz should go about planning her big day. From where to go for her bachelorette to how much she can spend on her dress, every aspect of her wedding is open for debate.

She has even invited people to vote on what her biggest wedding challenge should be. Options include “get a celebrity who she’s never met before to come to the wedding” and “invite all the people she’s been a bridesmaid for in the past and get them to come to the wedding wearing the bridesmaid dress they made her wear”.

Thus far, the public have decided that Glantz’s wedding budget must be between $15 000 – $30 000 and that she must get married in either July or October.

“When I check in on the results, I kind of panic a little bit, but then I think back to my commitment to this process,” Glantz told Insider. “I might have the most outrageous and most out-of-the-box wedding ever, and maybe the world is telling me, ‘Jen, this is what’s best for you.'”

Glantz hopes that this project encourages people to not sweat the small stuff and remember that a wedding does not make a marriage.

“In the end, our weddings signify two people coming together, plotting their future and everyone else around them, celebrating. That could be done in a warehouse. That can be done in a hotel banquet room. That can be done in your backyard. The meaning and the purpose still stay intact.”

Image: Instagram / Jen Glantz

In Advice

The pros and cons of having a hotel wedding

November 13, 2019 No Comments

Hotel weddings are popular venues for a reason. Hotels are generally beautifully decorated and have the facilities to cater for weddings. It is essentially a one-stop shop, making it one of the most convenient venues to choose from. Of course, as with any wedding venue, there are some limitations.

Take a look at the pros and cons of this venue type to see if it would work for you:

The location

The beauty of this venue is that you can have both your ceremony and reception in one place. Hotel venues are usually already pretty and elegant and so you will not have to do much decorating.

However, if you would like to decorate, you might be limited in terms of what you are allowed to do in the space. You will also have to accept the fact that this venue means that your wedding will have a standard ballroom look and you might not be able to have much personalisation.

If you do decide to have your wedding in a hotel, they will most likely book rooms for the bridal party and groomsmen to get ready in. Guests that have travelled for the wedding will be able to stay in the hotel and won’t have to worry about transport to and from the venue, plus, the hotel might even give a group booking rate.

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The facilities

Hotels will have plenty of parking space, bathrooms and the ability to house a lot of people with ease. There will be built-in sound systems for all audio requirements. The staff are experienced in dealing with lots of people at large events which will keep things running smoothly. You won’t have to rent any furniture or cutlery or crockery as they will have more than enough for your event.

But then again, this leaves little room to personalise your wedding. if you want your wedding to be unique, you might feel constrained by the limited options of this kind of venue.

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The logistics

While the convenience of hotel weddings is appealing, it also means that you might be limited by hotel rules. Since the venue is in a working hotel, your wedding might have a time limit as the noise might bother other guests. You could potentially have to use the hotel bar for drinks and their catering service instead of being able to choose your own.

Another negative is that hotel weddings are generally quite expensive. Even if the hotel offers wedding packages, these might limit you even further in choosing your own photographer or videographer as you might have to use the ones that come with the package.

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While you might save on rental costs with a hotel wedding, the venue alone could be quite costly. You also run the risk of being bound by vendors approved by the hotel. at the end of the day, however, it will probably save you a lot of time and stress when you’re planning the wedding if your heart isn’t already set on specific vendors.

Feature image: Unsplash

In Advice

Professional bridesmaids: A trend of the future?

November 12, 2019 No Comments

Choosing your bridesmaids can be tough. It comes with all kinds of complications like having to choose between friends, having the friend you chose be unavailable for the wedding, or not having enough people to complete your bridal party. Professional bridesmaids, it seems, are on the rise as the best solution to these complications and more.

Kerstyn Walsh, a professional bridesmaid who has been part of more than 150 weddings, operates her very successful business (Hire a Bridesmaid) in Sydney. She explains to the Daily Mail that “Brides often need someone who is willing to do all the jobs.” Depending on the tasks required of her, Walsh’s fees range between $1000 (R101 59) and $8000 (R812 74).

The jobs Walsh listed in her repertoire include taking on administrative tasks like consulting with vendors, helping with various chores throughout the special day so that family and friends can give their full attention to the wedding and the couple, and sometimes simply to bring the number of bridesmaids up to equal the number of groomsmen.

This list is already attractive enough to get us interested in professional bridesmaids. When we consider the lengths Tifanny Wright, a UK-based professional bridesmaid, goes to for her clients, the option seems almost too good to be true. Wright has changed her hair colour for a bride who wanted all her bridesmaids to be brunettes. She also convinced an entire bridal party to do a bootcamp instead of the classic bachelorette party. She has even spied on a groom at his bachelor party (not that we suggest you request this service). Wright does a consultation for £25 (R475). Thereafter, her services fees could go as high as £5000 (R95 153).

It’s clear then that a bride can ask way more of a professional bridesmaid than a regular bridesmaid. Asking too much of your best friend who is also your bridesmaid can get a bit awkward. But if you’re paying for a professional bridesmaid, you can ask her to do (just about) anything. A professional bridesmaid can’t object to the dresses you want either.

The benefits of a professional bridesmaid seemingly starts to pile up when you consider that a “normal” bridesmaid has much less experience (if any at all) in the type of planning required for this job than a professional bridesmaid would have.

With all of this acknowledged, we must say that the idea of a professional bridesmaid does seem much less personal than having a friend or family member as a bridesmaid. Having somebody who knows you, your story, and the in’s and out’s of how you got to your big day by your side is part of what makes things special.

At any rate, you may struggle to find a professional bridesmaid in South Africa. So this may not be a choice you have to make any time soon. But with the professional bridesmaid market on the rise in Australia, the UK, and USA, you never know.

Image: Unsplash

In Accessories

Wedding dress shopping timeline

November 12, 2019 No Comments

One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the bride’s dress. The marriage too, but let’s be honest, all eyes will be on the woman of the moment when she makes her triumphant walk down the aisle. With all this attention, you’ll definitely want your look to be picture perfect.

Wedding dress shopping is an experience. Making a dress or even just having one altered takes time. To make sure you stay on schedule, follow our wedding dress timeline.

12 months before the wedding:

– Research: Before you begin wedding dress shopping, you have to know what you want. Having a general idea of how you want to look will make the shopping experience that much easier. Scour Instagram and Pinterest for inspiration. It also helps to make a Pinterest board so that your bridal party and shopping assistants at bridal stores can greater understand your vision.

– Budget: Before you enter a store, you need to have a budget. If you don’t have a budget, you risk spending way beyond your means. When setting up your budget, make sure to include all the extra expenses such as alterations, shipping and accessories so that you have a ballpark figure that you cannot go over.

10 months before the wedding:

– Start wedding dress shopping: If you thought finding the One was tough, you haven’t gone wedding dress shopping yet. With so many silhouettes and styles available, it is easy to become overwhelmed.

Take your time and visit a few wedding dress stores to see what they have to offer. During this time, you can also start to get a feel of the the styles that look best on you, which will make your final decision much easier.

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8 months before the wedding:

– Say yes to the dress: After months of visiting bridal stores, now is the time to make your choice. By 8 months, you should have your wedding dress locked down and ordered. It may seem early, but choosing your dress this early leaves enough time for alterations and fittings which can often take months to complete.

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5 months before the wedding:

– Accessorise: remember the saying, “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue”? Now is the time to incorporate it into your wedding attire.

Whether it be an extravagant veil or a bridal hair piece, there are so many ways to top off your bridal look. The 5-month mark is the perfect time to go shopping for shoes, jewellery and other other accessories to compliment your dress.

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3 months before the wedding:

– First fitting: Chances are, you’ll have two to three fittings to make sure your dress is the perfect. At your first fitting, you will cover all the alterations that need to be made, whether it be a shorter hemline or extra beading.

It is crucial to have this fitting months ahead of the wedding to allow your seamstress enough time to make all the necessary changes. Make sure to bring your shoes and accessories along so that you can see the final look a little more clearly and make the necessary adjustments.

6-8 weeks before the wedding:

– Second fitting: The second dress fitting is for minor revisions. You will be fitting on your dress to see how the alterations at your first fitting came out and if any other changes need to be made. Once again, make sure to bring along your shoes and accessories. If possible, have your hair styled and your bridal makeup done so that you can see every component of your look together.

2-3 weeks before the wedding:

– Final fitting: All the alterations should be complete at this point, so the final fitting is simply to ensure that everything is perfect. This is the time when your entire look will come together. It is advised that you come prepared with your shoes and accessories, and have your hair and makeup done to get the big picture of your bridal attire.

the week before the wedding:

– pick up your wedding dress: it’s finally done! Your next task is to pick up your wedding dress and leave it somewhere safe. If you are following tradition, you’ll want to keep your dress out of your partner’s sight, so you will need to be strategic about where you will store it.

the day of:

Enjoy your wedding day: this one is pretty self-explanatory. The day has finally arrived, and now is the time to bask in your happiness while wearing your dream dress.

Image: Unsplash

In Advice

Groomsmen gift ideas

November 12, 2019 No Comments

This might not be something men think about a lot, but the fact is, your groomsmen give just as much time, energy and money towards your wedding as any loyal bridesmaid. The least you can do is say thank you, and show them that you really appreciate them sharing your journey to the altar with you. Depending on your budget, you can go big or small.

Of course, men are notoriously difficult to give gifts to. Here are some cool ideas to help you out:

Personalized beer case
We love this wooden case, and carving their name on it adds a personal touch.

Braai kit
You can’t go wrong with this one. Always handy!

Travel mug
For all the campers, travellers and always-on-the-go dudes.

Bluetooth speaker
With a small speaker that’s easy to carry, your boys will always be the life of the party.

Liqueuer
Not only is liqueur super classy, it actually tastes better than you think!

Picture: Unsplash

In Advice

The pros and cons of hiring a wedding planner

November 11, 2019 No Comments

Planning a wedding can be tough. With all the moving parts, you’re bound to feel overwhelmed. So why not rely on a professional to do it for you? Wedding planners are experts in all things wedding.

Hiring a wedding planner, however, doesn’t work for everyone. If you’re struggling to figure out if a wedding planner is right for you then check out our list of pros and cons.

Pros:

– Less stressful: Having a wedding planner takes all of the planning and scheduling off your hands. All you really need to do is say yes or no to the plan and sign the cheques. If you are someone who gets overwhelmed quickly, a wedding planner will be amazing for you. You can breathe a sigh of relief knowing someone else will put in the time and effort to bring your vision to life.

– Discounts: Since they have worked in the business for so long, wedding planners have connections and can often score discounts or deals with vendors. This way, you can actually save money on a service.

– New ideas: Let’s face it, you’re probably scouring Pinterest for wedding inspiration, which could lead to your big day being quite cookie-cutter. Wedding planners have seen and done it all, and often come with fresh ideas to create a unique spin on a classic. They can even show you ideas you would never have thought of. You can rely on them to make your wedding day special and memorable for the right reasons.

– They think of everything: A lot can go wrong on your wedding day. if you’re not a professional event planner you might not consider the smaller details that can all affect the day. Being professionals, wedding planners would have already factored all variables in and set a Plan B in place.

Cons:

– Less control: A wedding planner is both a blessing and a curse. After discussing your vision, you will have to relinquish control to the expert. If you are someone that likes to be in control and know every detail, then hiring a wedding planner might not be right for you.

– Costly: You’re paying for the wedding planner’s expertise and that can often come at a high cost. If you’ve got a tight budget then a wedding planner will probably not fit into it.

Image: Unsplash

In Advice

The latest wedding trend: Touch-up stations

November 11, 2019 No Comments

It might sound unnecessary, or even a little vain but we’re not here to judge. All we know is, touch-up stations are becoming a thing! A touch up beauty station is a great idea for a bridal party that wants to have all the fun but still be photo ready at a moment’s notice.

Touch-up stations are literally just that: stations set up at your wedding venue for any necessary make-up touch-ups.

Depending on the wedding venue, it can be set up in the bathrooms or a neutral space. There are a few options you can consider:

You can easily (and cheaply) just create a private corner by a mirror for everyone who wants to bring their necessities and leave it there for the day.

You can also dedicate a whole pop-up stand or mobile home and supply all the items yourself.

There are even companies who rent out mobile beauty bars and can send you stylists who are ready for the quick touch-up or the emergency sewing kit.

Here are some essentials your station should include:

– Tissues
– Cotton wool
– Ear buds
– Make-up remover
– Lip balm (get one that uses finger application for hygiene reasons)
– Mascara
– Hair comb (add a cleaning product for guests to clean it after use)
– Hairspray
– Anti-perspirant
– Tampons/sanitary pads
– Needles and thread
– Hand lotion

Picture: Pexels

In Advice

Engagement parties: Yay or nay?

November 8, 2019 No Comments

Getting engaged is a big deal. We get it. When your loved one pops the question, or says yes, all you want to do is shout it out to the world. Adventure awaits. But how practical are engagement parties really?

The upside:

FUN

There’s really not much to explain here. It’s a good time. You get to celebrate this special time in your life with people you care about!

Sharing stories

It’s natural that everyone will want to know how it happened, who asked whom and how. Was it a grand gesture or a private moment? It’s all pretty exciting. So instead of having to answer a bunch of questions over and over, it’s a great opportunity to tell your love story while everyone is gathered.

Show off the bling

The real reason most ladies want to throw a party! If your partner gave you a customary ring, you are bound to be super proud of it. Everyone will want to see it up close, and you will want to show it off. Sometimes, it’s okay to brag.

The downside:

The money issue

Sigh. Why is everything so darn expensive? Unless you’re a celebrity, it will probably hurt your wallet. You’re already spending money on the wedding, the honeymoon, the ring and dress… An engagement party seems like an unnecessary expense.

It can be stressful

Planning a wedding is already pretty stressful. There is a lot to do and there are many people involved, all wanting to weigh in on how it should go. You have a ton of things on your mind. Planning one more event might add to the stress and only make you anxious.

Finding the time

We know it is supposed to be about the couple, but the reality is, everyone’s busy. Supposing you and your fiancee can find an open date, all your guests might not be available. They are already putting time aside to attend the wedding itself, and it might be hard to find another date and time that suits everybody.

Yay or nay?

In conclusion, of course, it’s a personal choice so it’s up to you as a couple. However, we think it would be wise to rather put the time, money and energy towards the big day. You’ll see everyone there anyway, and those who really care will call or drop by to say congrats and share in your happiness.

Picture: Pexels