We all hope for a smooth-sailing kind of wedding day, but of course, there’s always the odd chance that some drama will go down.
You might think no one would be rude enough to show up to a wedding uninvited, but it can happen. Rather have a game plan worked out on how to handle it than get caught off guard.
Here’s how to avoid having unwanted guests show up, and what to do if it happens.
1. Be clear on the wedding invitations
Firstly, make sure that you are very clear about who is invited when sending the wedding invitation. Sending one card to a family when you only intended to invite the parents, for instance, could cause a misunderstanding. The best way to avoid this is to put the names of your guests on the card, and state whether or not plus-ones and children are invited.
Here’s an example: Instead of saying “Dear Maxwell family”, rather say “Dear Julia and John, please join us in the celebration of our wedding. We regret, we are not able to accommodate children”.
2. Follow up on unwanted RSVPs
Should you receive an RSVP for someone who was not directly invited, you have the full right to contact the person and politely ask them not to come. This is most likely to happen in the case of invited guests who want to bring uninvited partners. Contact the invited partner, and gently but firmly say that you really do not have space for more people than invited.
3. Make a decision about whether to let them stay
Once you’ve done all the invitations right, there is still a chance that someone might show up out of the blue. A long-lost cousin you have no contact with might feel wronged and shows up to confront the family, or an ex-partner tries to interfere with your new relationship.
In cases like these, you need to decide whether you will force them to leave or let them stay and adopt a “the more the merrier”-attitude, provided there is no drama. You will probably be too caught up in your own fun and happiness to bother about the plus-one that snuck in after all. If it’s more serious than that, you should address it.
4. Speak up
Should the situation need sorting out, you will have to face the person and ask them to leave. It will probably be unpleasant, but it is needed. Be friendly and kind, and take your partner or a member of the bridal party with you. Take them aside in private and tell them that it’s wrong for them to be here. Here’s an example: “I’m really sorry I couldn’t invite you, but I feel that it’s better if you are not here today. Please leave the wedding, and we can talk more later.”
5. Know who to call
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. If the uninvited guest for some reason refuses, you need to have backup. The person might be intoxicated, aggressive or just plain rude but you do not need that on your special day. If you have a wedding planner, call them for assistance. If not, call the venue security or the manager, and explain the situation. It might be a good idea to also save the nearest police station’s number too, just in case.
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Whether you’re giving the maid of honour speech or are the father of the bride, wedding speeches are a bit daunting for everyone.
If you’re a bit nervous about standing up in front of a room full of people, here are some tips to make your speech sparkle.
Prepare, with notes
These are people you’ve probably known for ages, but you still need to prepare. Trying to wing it will only leave you rambling and sweating. Even if you don’t write down what you want to say word for word, general ideas jotted down will keep you on the right path.
Read the room, before you’re in it
The awkwardest part about giving a wedding speech is the uncomfortable silences that sometimes crop up when you try to make a joke or speak to something no one else understands. Think about who will be there and how you can include everyone while still touching on your connection with the wedding party.
Take a deep breath and take it slow
A big part of wedding speech nerves is the speakers rushing through their speech and making it difficult to hear. This only makes the speaker more nervous as the audience don’t respond as they expect to the speech. When you walk up to the mic, don’t start talking right away, take a deep breath and collect yourself. When you start speaking, speak slower than normal, it may sound weird to you but it will sound perfect to everyone else.
Make eye contact with people seated close to you
It may be nerve-wracking but keeping eye contact with different people close to you can actually help balance you and feel like you’re directing your words at an actual person rather than the entire room altogether. Since this is a speech for the bridal party, you can look at them if you prefer.
Give yourself an uplifting pep talk
Before it’s your time to go up rather than telling everyone how nervous you are, psych yourself up by saying even just to yourself that you’re excited. This will put you in a positive mindset and help you be brave for the big moment.
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Eight years of marriage is a massive achievement. Things may have changed, but hopefully your love is still as strong or even stronger.
Every year is a special year for a married couple, as it marks another 365 days of their union. However, each anniversary has its own special meaning, according to tradition.
The eighth year is traditionally symbolised by bronze. As bronze is made of copper and tin, it represents the blending of two elements together, thus creating a stronger product. These elements are individually strong, but made even more durable when they come together.
Here are some traditional bronze gift ideas to give your partner:
– Jewellery
– Bookends
– Wine goblets
– Belt buckle
– Personalised wine bucket
– A sculpture
– An ornate vase
– A bronze-trimmed mirror
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The amount of stress we’ve had to deal with this year has been immense. Not just on personal mental health but there has been, a knock-on effect on our relationships, too.
We’ve been locked indoors together for months on end. We’ve had to endure loss of income, health issues and separation from friends and family. Parents have had to take on the daunting extra duty of home-schooling. . Within this context, many relationships have taken strain. That’s why it’s essential, if you can, to try and get away from it all and treat yourself to a well-deserved break. A chance to rekindle that romantic spark and reconnect as a couple after this crazy year.
Here’s how a trip away can benefit your relationship with your significant other:
Nature
Remember when we could only exercise in that one small time period each day? Parks, forests and streets were packed with people simply breathing in the fresh air and communing with nature as we found a renewed appreciation in the power of nature to lift our spirits. So, pick a holiday destination where nature is abundant and the outdoors are celebrated, like the Maldives, with its open spaces, white sand beaches, swaying palm trees and abundant sea life.
There are so many land and water sports, and outdoor activities to enjoy in the Maldives – most of which are all-inclusive if you book in a resort like Club Med (who have great deals to the Maldives at the moment!). The Maldives is also one of the few places which South Africans can travel to without quarantining, plus you simply get a visa on arrival (super easy!).
Self-care
The adage of putting your own oxygen mask on before helping others applies here too. You can’t build a strong relationship unless you are strong inside yourself. A holiday is certainly a form of self-care, especially if you go somewhere which offers the things which help you recharge – indulge in quiet time, outdoor activities, beauty treatments, wholesome food or something else entirely. Whether you practise self-care together or separately, your relationship can only be better for it.
Laughter
The saying “laughter is the best medicine” was so apt this year because where would we have been without humour? Whether it’s watching silly sitcoms on Netflix during lockdown, laughing at ridiculous situations or witty memes on social media– humour can be a lifeline in stressful times like these.
Holidays can give you space to relax and unwind, and make time for spontaneity, happiness and laughter – things we all really need after this pandemic. If you choose an all-inclusive holiday package all your needs are taken care of from the moment you arrive, leaving more time for enjoying the moment and making new memories!
Honest communication
We may have spent most of this year inside the same four walls, but that doesn’t mean that we’ve always been communicating effectively. In fact, you may have spent much of your leisure time on your individual laptops watching Netflix in separate rooms!
This trip can be a time to stay away from screens, and really spend time together with no work or household chores to distract you. You can really talk about what’s happened in 2020, how this made you both feel, and how you can work together to tackle issues and be stronger, together.
Reflection and planning
Using this rare time to communicate, now’s a great opportunity to reflect on the kind of lives you want to achieve. 2020 has forced us all to re-evaluate what really matters to us, showing us how important our loved ones are, how valuable our physical health is and why it’s vital to slow down our lives to enjoy simple pleasures. Time away from the mundane gives you space to do this reflection exercise together, so you can make a plan to work towards the life you envisage in the new normal.
This year has had a detrimental effect on our stress levels, and holidays are one science-proven way to improve on that. In a 2009 study, Canadian researchers found that taking holidays helped to buffer job stress among a sample of 900 lawyers. We may not all be lawyers but we’ve certainly all experienced stress this year – so dust off that suitcase, get planning and get packing. You deserve it and your relationship needs it.
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