When you find the person who you want to spend forever with, you are aware of the different personality traits you each possess.
We spoke to Helen Searra, a qualified life coach about wedding planning and here is what she had to say about grooms who have no interest in wedding-planning.
“While planning a wedding may be of interest to you, he may not share the same feeling. This does not mean he isn’t interested in the wedding.
“Having different interests and hobbies make a relationship interesting. You can learn from one another. Find out if something you’re interested in might be something he’s interested in but has never had the opportunity to explore, and vice versa.
F”ocus on each others strengths. Some people have no idea or desire to party plan. Don’t take this personally!
Find a group of friends or family who love party planning.
“Share the fun of planning with people who are interested, that is the best way to generate fabulous, creative ideas.
“Have fun putting the event together and sharing the progress with your partner rather than setting him up to fail.
“The couples attitude and behaviour during the wedding planning can set up a repetitive dance in the marriage going forward, should they come from overly invested expectations of each other.” concluded Searra.
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Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected].
So you’ve just tied the knot! Before you head to the wedding reception, you and your partner need to capture some memories. Perhaps the venue itself offers a…
It’s your big day! All eyes are on you, and that dress! The wedding gown may be one of the most important elements of this occasion of love. Well, to the bride at least. It’s something that every girl imagines herself in and it’s absolutely vital to many a bride-to-be that the dress leaves jaws dropped and heads turned.
We’ve gathered a few of the most flattering wedding dress silhouettes for your body shape.
1. A’s for days! For all the gorgeous ladies with beautiful curves, the A-line silhouette may appeal to you. It’s usually fitted at the top to emphasise the waist and then flares out at the skirt. It’s a very flattering shape not just for curvaceous brides but all body shapes.
2. Wanting to highlight your curves a bit more? The trumpet silhouette is what you’re looking for. It hugs your curves, and flares out from the knee down. As body-hugging as it is, it still allows for a lot of movement.
3. The sheath shape. If you’re petite or slender, this is very flattering. It’s tight-fitting and elongates the body.
4. Looking to make an even bigger statement? Have a look at the mermaid style. It’s similar to the Trumpet shape mentioned earlier but a bit more dramatic. It’s also a bit more constricting, however.
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5. Off to the ball! The classic ball gown silhouette emphasises your waist. The fullness of the skirt means this dress compliments various body types. If you have a ‘plank’ shape, it creates the illusion of bigger curves. For women who are a bit more busty, this dress can create a nice balance.
6. Dropped waist. This gorgeous silhouette flares out a little bit below the waistline. It compliments taller brides, as it can elongate the torso area.
At the end of the day though, it’s about the dress you feel the most beautiful and confident in and your opinion matters most. There are no actual rules – just go for it.
Picture: Pixabay
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Along with the excitement of a wedding comes all the events and parties that lead up to the big day. One of the most popular pre-wedding celebrations is the bridal shower. Or is it the kitchen tea? They are similar, but there are a few differences.
Kitchen teas are more common in Australia, South Africa and New Zealand, whereas the US, UK, Belgium, Netherlands and a few other countries in Europe tend to host bridal showers.
The kitchen tea is a time to celebrate the bride-to-be, and guests bring items that can be added to the newlyweds’ kitchen as gifts. It is typically hosted at the bride’s or her mother’s house. Female friends and family are invited – kitchen teas are typically attended only by the women in the bride’s life. It is usually quite a relaxed environment and can involve fun games.
The bridal shower is a party hosted for the bachelorette. Her guests ‘shower’ her with gifts of any kind, that can be for her personal use or for her and her future spouse’s home. Brides-to-be may create a gift registry for their guests to help with ideas. The bridal shower provides the perfect opportunity for both sides of the family to mingle!
There’s no need to keep things too traditional, though. You can mix it up a bit by having a theme. You can even customise the party according to what the bachelorette likes. For example, a bride-to-be who enjoys the outdoors might appreciate a hike or scenic route, or a bachelorette with a creative streak may love a cake-decorating party.
Remember to save all the ‘naughty’ things for the bachelorette party, though!
Picture: Pexels
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Whether you are paying for the wedding yourselves or your parents are contributing, you will need to calculate how much money you have to spend. Once you have this figure, immediately set aside 5-10% of that for contingency.
Establishing and sticking to your budget is the best gift you can give yourself as a couple. In order to do this, you have to ensure that all your planning is documented. But before you start crunching numbers, think about the overall feeling you want your wedding to have as this will affect how you spend within your budget.
Do your research on vendors and get estimates on how much each thing will cost. This will include everything from venue to flowers to the dress and so on. Then get quotes from vendors and write it all down next to estimated costs.
Now that you know what kind of wedding you would like to have and how much money you have to spend, put together a rough guest list. The number of guests determines your venue, food and alcohol.
These are generally the largest expenses and a wise rule to follow is to allocate 40% of your budget to these three things.
It is time to discuss your non-negotiables with your partner (try to keep it down to three). These are things that you have always dreamed of having at your wedding and are willing to spend the money needed in order to achieve them. Research vendors and get quotes so that you can allocate it to the budget and then see how much is left to spend on the rest of the wedding. If you are already over budget based on your list, or close to the end of your budget, have a look at your priorities again and see what you can reduce.
Now that you’ve got all your quotes and guest list numbers, you can create the spreadsheet. You can get a template online or create your own but try to keep it as simple as possible. Put your overall sum in the top corner somewhere and then create these tabs: estimated, modified and actual.
Your estimated tab will be amounts that you have found based on research.
Modified will have real quotes from vendors.
Actual will be the final amount that you end up paying.
Time for a reality check – does your budget allow you to achieve what you want? If not, you may have to adjust your budget if that is an option or adjust your expectations.
Steps to take in order to ensure you stick to your budget:
- Figure out how much you have to spend.
- Research vendors and get quotes before settling on your budget.
- Write a list including all researched costs and quotes from vendors.
- Write down your proposed guest list
- Create the spreadsheet and input all the relevant information.
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