Everything is organised: Your dress, your hair and make-up. The catering and photography are all systems go and you and your spouse-to-be are super excited for the big day. There’s just one issue left to tackle: the guests. You both love your families, but they can be a handful. This cousin is angry with that aunt, and that uncle hasn’t spoken to this one’s dad in years. Hopefully, you or your partner’s family members are mature enough to behave well at the wedding for your sakes and not ruin your day. But you never know!
So how do you handle family feuds on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life? Here are some things to keep in mind to help you prevent the much-dreaded drama:
1. Be smart with seating arrangements
When it comes to practical things like seating, be mindful of who sits next to whom. Of course, it might not be possible to keep everyone happy, but you can at least try to arrange it in a way that arguments will be least likely to break out.
2. Never get involved in the details
Remember, if it’s not your fight, it’s not your place to intervene. You have bigger things to worry about! For you to try and get in between will waste energy and emotional resources you’re supposed to save for joyous moments. Keep out of it as far as possible. When either of the parties involved try to drag you in, just calmly but firmly say something like “I understand that it’s tough for you, and I really appreciate that you’re here for me. I will not be able to talk to him/her about this, but why don’t you join me on the dance floor? I love this song!” This way, you move the attention away from the issue and hopefully remind them that you’re all there to enjoy the wedding.
3. Try to give everyone equal attention
Again, don’t choose sides. It’s important that you show everyone you are happy for them to be there for you and that you appreciate and love them all equally. Avoid spending too much time with any particular person or table so as not to create more friction.
4. Communicate beforehand
If things are that serious and you’re worried it might actually get out of hand, it might be wise to talk to each of the parties involved separately before the wedding day. Schedule a coffee date or write them a personal email explaining that you are looking forward to spend time with them but that you also expect them to behave a certain way on the day out of respect for you. Make it clear that you want them to be comfortable, but that you can’t control everything. Ask them to consider you and your partner during the day and set their differences aside.
5. Enjoy your day – regardless
At the end of the day, you have to choose whether you will allow other people’s behaviour to upset you or not. We know this isn’t always easy, but for one day you are allowed to focus on you and your own joy. Focus on the happy moments and the well wishes, the delightful food and beautiful surroundings. This is meant to be a celebration of love and all you should really be concerned about is the fact that your partner can’t stop smiling at you.
Picture: Pexels
