Weddings Archives | Page 5 of 17

In Weddings

Getting divorced in South Africa is more expensive than you think

July 20, 2020 No Comments

South Africa has quite a high rate of divorce. According to Stats SA, four out of ten marriages end in divorce before their tenth anniversary. The truth is, nobody wants their story to end in a separation, but sometimes you have no other choice.

DivorceLaws.co.za, a website established by Family Law and Divorce Lawyer Bertus Preller at Maurice Philips Wisenberg in Cape Town and author of the book Everyone’s Guide To Divorce and Separation, published data about divorce in South Africa. According to the website, the divorce rate declined from 2017 to 2018 but despite this, the numbers remain high.

Data based on 25 284 divorce forms obtained by Stats SA showed a decline of 0.4% (from 25 390 in 2017 to 25 284 in 2018). Most divorce proceedings are started by women.

“The 2018 data reveal that more wives than husbands, 13 218 (52,3%) women in comparison to 8 791 (34,8%) men started divorce proceedings and 1 523 (6,0%) divorces were started by both husband and wife,” they said on the website.

Additionally, Business Tech reported that since the beginning of lockdown, divorce in the country has increased by 20%.

With such high divorce rates, one begins to wonder how much divorce actually costs. The total cost depends on the complexity of the settlement, with issues which may include division of assets or child maintenance.

According to Parent24, in the case that a couple collaborates to finalise all of these complexities and reach an agreement, the divorce can have a total cost coming to R7000 to R10 000. If the divorce is contested, however, it will be much more expensive.

When both individuals do not agree on the terms, they incur additional costs by going back and forth and keeping lawyers for longer, and having to go to court.

Attorneys charge big money for their services. Some who are well-experienced charge between R2000 and R3000 an hour. So, by increasing the time you spend with them, you increase your fees tremendously.

One might think that doing it yourself is the best option in an effort to save money. However, Lee Hancox, head of channel and segment marketing at Sanlam told Business Tech that it may cause more trouble.

“Sometimes there’s the temptation to rush into a ‘quickie’ DIY divorce that seems cheaper and faster – perhaps you want to get out of the emotionally stressful scenario as fast as possible,” she said. “This can be risky. Particularly if you’re not a legal expert, what you may be putting into your divorce agreement could be called into question when you get into a divorce court, or, worst-case scenario, could be to your detriment in the long run. ”

The result of this could cost you more in the end, so it may be better to stick with a professional.

If you’re wondering what else may increase your spending during or after divorce, here are some expenses that result from separation:

– Two households instead of one,

– Additional child care expenses,

– Separating contracts like medical aid, cell phone contracts, insurance, bond payments and others.

David Thomson, senior legal adviser at Sanlam Trust told Business Tech that professional help to guide you in the process makes a huge difference.

“You have to consider the impact of divorce on the whole financial picture. In a partnership, one person may have taken responsibility for the finances, so following a divorce, sudden financial independence could be daunting for the other partner,” he explained.

“Additionally, divorce might mean that one has to go back to work. Plus, it has potentially big consequences if there are children involved as arrangements must be made regarding payment of school fees; medical aid and the like.”

“Divorce is complicated, no matter who you are and how wealthy you may be.”

Image: Unsplash

In Advice

How to have an out-of-this-world Star Wars wedding

July 6, 2020 No Comments

If your love is out of this world, a Star Wars wedding theme may be perfect for you. Lovers of the iconic franchise can easily incorporate elements of it into their big day in both over-the-top and subtle ways.

Depending on your style and preference, you can go big or small. You could have Darth Vader officiate your wedding, or have your bridesmaids carry lightsabers instead of bouquets. Or, you could be more demure and simply have references to the film added to your seating chart or wedding cake.

Here are some ideas to include this theme into your decor in a variety of ways.

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Feature image: Unsplash

In Weddings

The evolution of the rice toss tradition

July 2, 2020 No Comments

The wedding exit is a special moment as newlyweds step out for the first time as a married couple. Traditionally, excited guests line the steps and hurl handfuls of uncooked rice at the couple on their way.

The rice toss tradition is an interesting yet strange one that can be dated back to the Ancient Romans. Here’s how it started and evolved over time.

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The origin:

In Ancient Roman times, marriage was symbolic of expansion, both in terms of starting a family and growing one’s assets. Because of its affordability and easy availability, rice was used to usher newlyweds into their marriage and encourage both fertility and prosperity. The rice is meant to resemble rain, which is also a positive symbol on a wedding day. Romans also used wheat and oats as alternatives.

The tradition began losing popularity after a rumour grew that birds would eat the rice once the wedding was over and their stomachs would explode from it. In the US, state legislation banned the tradition entirely in 1985 to protect unsuspecting birds. However, this theory has since been proven false, the rice doesn’t actually expand in a bird’s stomach and cause them to explode.

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Modern times:

Nowadays, the rice toss doesn’t hold the same weight it once did as modern couples are more conscious of their surroundings. Eco-friendly, alternative options are more commonly used for the perfect exit moment.

If you’d still like to have a rice toss but in a way that’s kinder on the environment, consider using items like dried petals, fresh leaves, or eco-friendly confetti made of growing paper.

Feature image: Pexels

In Legal & Administration

More South Africans applying for divorce amid lockdown

July 2, 2020 No Comments

There has been a reported increase in divorce applications and interest since lockdown came into effect in South Africa. The reasons behind the choice, however, are varied.

New stats reveal that South Africa is ranked at number 83 out of 154 countries in the world for its divorce rates. Local law firm DIY Legal says they have seen a 20% increase in divorce applications since level 4 lockdown was instated as the courts reopened for the service. The firm took a deeper look at these concerning stats to understand the reason behind it.

According to DIY Legal, there are many reasons South Africans cite as the basis for wanting a divorce. 16% of respondents said their choice was down to a lack of love, respect or affection from their partner.

Brendan McNulty, founder of DIY Legal, explains additional stressors like unemployment, financial strain and being stuck at home all day also contribute to these statistics.

It is important to note that an increase in divorce rate is currently being experienced worldwide, South Africa is not unique in this regard. There are various reports relaying a surge in divorce applications in China. National media has reported that marriage registration offices in some districts in Xi’an, capital of Northwest China’s Shaanxi Province, have experienced unprecedented divorce appointments since their reopening on March 1.

“As a result of the epidemic, many couples have been bound with each other at home for over a month, which evoked the underlying conflicts, adding that the office had been closed for a month, therefore the office has seen an acutely increasing divorce appointment,” an official from the registration office told reporters. “Usually the office would see a wave of divorcement after Spring Festival and the college entrance examination.”

Saudia Arabia has seen a 30% increase in divorce applications, and in Britain the divorce rate increased by 42% between late March and mid-May.

Feature image: Unsplash

In News

The origin of Mr and Mrs

May 28, 2020 No Comments

Mr and Mrs seem like given titles for those that choose to walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’. Have you ever wondered where these titles come from? The origin might surprise you.

The titles originally had nothing to do with marital status. Cambridge University historian Dr. Amy Erickson explains that ‘Mrs’ and ‘Miss’ derived from the word ‘mistress’ while ‘Mr’ comes from ‘master’.

“Few people realise that ‘Mistress’ is the root word of both of the abbreviations ‘Mrs,’ and ‘Miss,’ just as Mr is an abbreviation of ‘Master.’ The ways that words derived from Mistress have developed their own meanings is quite fascinating and shifts in these meanings can tell us a lot about the changing status of women in society, at home and in the workplace,” she said

According to author Samuel Johnson, a mistress could be defined as “1. A woman who governs; correlative to subject or servant; 2. A woman skilled in anything; 3. A woman teacher; 4. A woman beloved and courted; 5. A term of contemptuous address; 6. A whore or concubine.”

Back in the mid-18th century, ‘mistress’ didn’t have quite the negative connotations it has today. In those days, a mistress typically referred to a woman of high economic or social capital, rather than a married woman. A woman referred to as Mrs in the 18th century was thus not necessarily married.

Those on the lower scales of society were simply referred to by their names. For example, the lady of the house might have been Mrs Abernathy, while the scullery maid would simply be Anna Black.

Mr and Mrs were on equal standing, and Erickson argues those that held these titles were more like businessmen and women as they governed servants or apprentices, and were quite literally the masters and mistresses of their trades.

It was only in the late 18th century that the use of Mrs became attached to marital status. The title Miss, which was originally a title for young girls, started to be used as a term to refer to an unmarried woman of a high social status, who was often a teacher. These young, socially ambitious single women wanted their own title that would mark their social class but not lump them into a group with the older businesswomen and heads of households that typically held the title of Mrs.

This new term thus shifted the meaning of Mrs to signify a married woman and create a distinction between young and older.

Why the pronunciation of mistress turned to ‘missus’ is unclear. In A Critical Pronouncing Dictionary, and Expositor of the English Language from 1828, author John Walker suggests its a result of colloquialism.

“The same haste and necessity of dispatch, which has corrupted Master into Mister, has, when a title of civility only, contracted Mistress into Missis,” he wrote.

Feature image: Unsplash

In Decor

Create enchanting table decor with roses

April 23, 2020 No Comments

Flowers are always a good idea, as they bring colour, texture and smell lovely too! With all the incredibly beautiful flowers out there, it’s hard to choose the right ones for your wedding tables.

While roses have been used for ages, we never get tired of looking at them. In season during South Africa’s summer months, they are readily available in most parts of the country and are available in so many different kinds and colours that you are spoiled for choice.

Think romantic, playful and sensual. We take a look at modern trends on how to make your tables pop with roses:

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Image: Pexels

In Celebs

John Legend, Chrissy Tiegen host stuffed animal wedding for daughter

April 1, 2020 No Comments

Self-isolating has gotten to us all, even celebrities. While at home, John Legend and Chrissy Tiegen are finding inventive ways to keep their two children entertained. They hosted a wedding for daughter Luna’s stuffed animals, Chloe and Nosh.

Chloe and Nosh said ‘I do’ in a beautiful beachside ceremony. Luna walked the pair down the aisle and naturally, Tiegen officiated the ceremony. Luckily for us, the wedding was livestreamed on Instagram Live so we could all virtually attend.

“Thank you for gathering here today on this very special day,” Teigen said as she officiated the ceremony. “It’s a beautiful day. Well deserved in what has become 26 weeks of an incredible relationship.”

“It was unexpected at first, as there were many different animals in the house,” she continued. “But who knew that Chloe and Nosh would get along so well. They’ve loved each other since the first second they laid eyes one another and they’ve never spent a night apart.”

John Legend serenaded the newlyweds during their first dance with Selena Gomez’s “Hands to Myself”.

Watch the heartwaming ceremony here:

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-V7WnfJUQi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Feature image: Instagram / Chrissy Tiegen

In Bridal Shower

Dramatic wedding entrances you won’t believe

March 27, 2020 No Comments

Simply walking down the aisle on your wedding day is so expected. Some brides and grooms feel the need to really set themselves apart on their big day, and opt for grand entrances.

From a skydiving groom to a flying bride, here are a few OTT moments you need to see.

A bride and her balloons

Ballerina beauties

Let the sky fall

Light ’em up

The greatest show

Feature image: Screenshot

In Advice

‘Something blue’-inspired wedding decor

February 13, 2020 No Comments

‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’. The age old Victorian era saying still holds weight today with many couples who opt to incorporate it into their big day.

Representing the sky and the ocean, blue is symbolic of freedom, imagination, inspiration, and sensitivity. Its a gentle hue that offers calming properties. ‘Cool blue’ is also the Pantone colour of the year, and its already popping up everywhere. Stay on trend by incorporating this colour into your wedding decor. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

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Also read: The meaning behind ‘something old, new, borrowed and blue’

Feature image: Unsplash

In Advice

How weddings have changed over the years

February 6, 2020 No Comments

Weddings come with tons of customs and traditions, the history of which is always quite interesting. Many couples are eager to incorporate age-old practices into their weddings. Over the years, however, the practices have changed and transformed.

For those who want tradition and modernity, or who would prefer to customise their wedding to be more original, perhaps insight into how wedding traditions have changed over the years will help to find a middle ground.

– Asking for permission

In years gone by, it was often considered respectful to ask a woman’s father for her hand in marriage. Today, women have much more agency and are no longer considered to be “passed on” to their husbands. Many still follow this custom as a sign of respect. However, others have completely done away with the tradition.

– Veils

Originally, the wedding veil was a way to protect the bride from evil spirits on her wedding day. In 1849, however, Queen Victoria donned a veil as fashion for the first time ever. Since then, many brides have decided to go without a veil or have replaced it with other accessories such as flower crowns.

– Not seeing each other before the ceremony

In the past, it was considered to be very bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. This tradition started at a time when arranged marriages were more common, and was a way to ensure that a groom did not have a change of heart before the ceremony.

Today, many couples have “first look” shoots. They have a private moment together before their nuptials to capture the first moment they see each other in their wedding attire.

– Receptions

Today, we have large receptions that take months of preparation and planning. We offer full meals and often have a constant flow of food and drink for our guests. Previously, a wedding reception was merely some cake and tea at the home of the brides parents.

– The classic vows

The classic wedding vows, which can be traced back to 1549, say that the bride promises to “love, honour, keep, obey, and serve” her husband to be. The last two words are often dropped, these days.

– Rice throwing

Traditionally, newly-weds were sent off from their weddings by having rice tossed at them. Today, bubbles, eco-friendly glitter, or sparklers, amongst other things are often used instead.

Image: Unsplash