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    A brief guide to sending out thank you cards

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    The wedding is over. Now you can finally relax, right?

    Nope! There is still one thing left to do – send out thank you cards. This may seem like a daunting task, but it has to be done. The general rule for sending out thank you cards after a wedding is that you have 3 months to do so, but try to do it as soon as possible.

    Some tips for making this process as easy as possible:

    • When opening gifts, keep a list of every gift received and who it was from. This will help you when you are actually writing the cards as you won’t have to rack your brain trying to remember who gave what.
    • Keep a pen and your wedding stationery next to your bed so that you can write a few cards each night when you get into bed. This is better than writing them all at once as you want the cards to be as appreciative and sincere as possible which can be hard to maintain after you’ve already written 50 cards. It also takes the pressure off finding time to sit down and write them all.

    A few things to include in the card: specify the gift that was received so that the card is personalised, write something personal about the giver, and comment on the joy that the gift will bring you.

    The best tip I can give when writing a thank you card is: NEVER start with thank you. Start with any other sentence. If you start with thank you, you won’t know what to say next.

    A great thank you card doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done.

     

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    Setting a wedding budget and actually sticking to it

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    Whether you are paying for the wedding yourselves or your parents are contributing, you will need to calculate how much money you have to spend. Once you have this figure, immediately set aside 5-10% of that for contingency.

    Establishing and sticking to your budget is the best gift you can give yourself as a couple. In order to do this, you have to ensure that all your planning is documented. But before you start crunching numbers, think about the overall feeling you want your wedding to have as this will affect how you spend within your budget.

    Do your research on vendors and get estimates on how much each thing will cost. This will include everything from venue to flowers to the dress and so on. Then get quotes from vendors and write it all down next to estimated costs.

    Now that you know what kind of wedding you would like to have and how much money you have to spend, put together a rough guest list. The number of guests determines your venue, food and alcohol.

    These are generally the largest expenses and a wise rule to follow is to allocate 40% of your budget to these three things.

    It is time to discuss your non-negotiables with your partner (try to keep it down to three). These are things that you have always dreamed of having at your wedding and are willing to spend the money needed in order to achieve them. Research vendors and get quotes so that you can allocate it to the budget and then see how much is left to spend on the rest of the wedding. If you are already over budget based on your list, or close to the end of your budget, have a look at your priorities again and see what you can reduce.

    Now that you’ve got all your quotes and guest list numbers, you can create the spreadsheet. You can get a template online or create your own but try to keep it as simple as possible. Put your overall sum in the top corner somewhere and then create these tabs: estimated, modified and actual.

    Your estimated tab will be amounts that you have found based on research.

    Modified will have real quotes from vendors.

    Actual will be the final amount that you end up paying.

    Time for a reality check – does your budget allow you to achieve what you want? If not, you may have to adjust your budget if that is an option or adjust your expectations.

    Steps to take in order to ensure you stick to your budget:

    1. Figure out how much you have to spend.
    2. Research vendors and get quotes before settling on your budget.
    3. Write a list including all researched costs and quotes from vendors.
    4. Write down your proposed guest list
    5. Create the spreadsheet and input all the relevant information.

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    Bachelor parties gone wrong

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    Before the “I do’s” come the infamous bachelor parties. Fuelled by movies like The Hangover, there are certainly some crazy and shocking stories out there. Here are a few stories from anonymous brides- and grooms-to-be of stag do’s that didn’t go quite as planned.

     

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    In one groom’s story, the stag do started out fairly tame, with everything fairly in order. As the party proceeded however, along came the stripper. Organised by his group of friends, the groom-to-be was unaware of who the woman was. It was only upon her arrival that he saw the stripper was his ex-girlfriend’s mother – certainly not a pleasant surprise.

    In a separate story, the bachelor spent the night before the big day drinking copious amounts of alcohol. The menu included a fifth of rum, 30 beers, a bottle of whiskey, and more – followed by a head injury and a blackout. The husband-to-be only woke up just four hours before the wedding and managed to make it there just in time, an hour before the ceremony started.

    Another man had been dating his fiancée for a few years. She had recently made friends with a man at work. The groom-to-be had mixed feelings about the colleague but somehow this man ended up being a groomsman. At the stag do, after a lot of alcohol, the bachelor broke down in tears and left his own party. The partygoers later found out that the suspicious co-worker was having an affair with the bride-to-be.

    Hoping to be a little smarter than others, one bachelor decided to have his party a week before the wedding. He also not-so-smartly indulged in a little too much alcohol (we’re starting to see a pattern here) and fell off a deck, three floors above the ground. He attended his wedding with two broken wrists and a shaved head due to the stitches he needed above one of his ears.

    A different groom-to-be decided to party it up in Vegas. He met a girl there and the two exchanged numbers, to his fiancée’s knowledge. The bride-to-be was at home with a tablet that must was linked to the bachelor’s phone, and received all the texts between the two. The wedding was called off.

    So whether it’s confirming that you DON’T know the stripper, knowing your alcohol limits, trusting your gut or steering clear of high-rise venues, here are some of the crazy stag do situations you definitely want to steer clear of experiencing yourself.

     

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    Save the planet… one eco-friendly wedding at a time

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    By Yashna Balwanth

    Contrary to popular belief, being environmentally and socially responsible on your wedding day is easier and possibly cheaper than you think. What could possibly be more important than protecting the Earth? Small considerations can make a world of difference – like using seasonal and local flowers flowers instead of importing them.

    Being eco-friendly is fashionable, will boost your eco-consciousness levels – and perhaps even turn a few guests into eco-warriors. We’ve put together a few conscious decisions to consider to make your special day more eco-friendly and your wallet a little happier.

    Disposable confetti
    Every bride wants to be showered in glittery confetti. In reality, you are throwing microplastics everywhere. An eco-friendlier alternative to this is to use biodegradable confetti which are made from flower petals. Or punch out confetti circles from leaves, colour them metallic and voilà. These are materials that still look as beautiful in pictures and will do exactly the same job.

     

    Re-use wedding attire
    Being eco-friendly also means finding more than one use for certain items, this includes wedding attire. By allowing your bridal party to choose their own style of dress within your colour palette, they will wear the dress again since it is something they have chosen for themselves. The bride’s dress can also be a vintage or pre-loved garment, perhaps handed down through generations. Don’t grow too attached to your wedding gown, you can have it altered once the wedding is over into two separate pieces of a top and skirt, then mix and match it within your closet for multiple uses.

     

    Potted vs cut flowers
    Cut flowers do not have a long lifespan. Why not opt for a potted centerpiece instead? These can also double up as wedding favours for guests to take home, which help save on costs. However, if you really do want cut flowers for decor, work with a company that can have the flowers reused after the function or even donated to a hospital or community centre.

     

    Digital stationery
    Let’s be real for a second… how many of us actually save wedding invites of friends and family? This is wasted paper and a waste of money printing invitations that still need to be hand delivered to guests. Besides the digital realm keeping us in touch with one another, it has also helped with invitations and notices to guests. Wedding websites can be set up for minimal costs and can also keep track of the guests who have rsvp’d and those who have not.

     

    Food donations
    It comes as no surprise that weddings attract a lot of wastage when it comes to food. Whether guests didn’t show up, or caterers over prepared, there is always waste of perfectly good food that shouldn’t be thrown away. Perhaps leftovers can be donated to a shelter for the homeless or even handed out to a nearby children’s school. Ensure your caterers are aware of your plans to donate so the food is not thrown out unintentionally.

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    Dinner Service: Buffet vs. Plated

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    Should you serve a plated dinner or buffet dinner at your wedding? A few things to consider when making this decision: What sort of atmosphere are you trying to create? What is your budget? And how many guests will be attending?

    Generally, a buffet dinner is much more casual than a plated dinner as the evening is less structured than a plated dinner. A plated dinner can be structured in the sense than you can plan speeches and toasts and even dancing in between courses. If you want your wedding to be a formal affair, then serving a plated dinner is the best option. Plated dinners ensure that there is no chaos that could come with buffet dinners when everyone goes to get their food.

    With a plated dinner, everyone eats at the same time and will be finishing up at the same time and you can move on to the next part of the evening.

    In order to control the chaos that comes with buffets, you have to think of ways to control the traffic by setting up lines to get food or setting up two buffet tables with the same food to limit long lines or sometimes even scheduling times for each table to go and get their food. This results in each table eating at different times and can hinder your desired proceedings for after dinner.

    Buffet caters for larger groups and a variety of tastes, meaning there is usually something for everyone, which is appreciated by your guests. But being served is also appreciated; and if you offer special meals for people with dietary requirements, everyone will be happy.

    Budget-wise, it is tricky to determine which style of dinner service is more cost-effective as there are many factors that will influence the cost of the type of dinner service that is chosen.

    Buffet style is generally considered more cost-effective as you do not have to hire as many waitstaff as you would have to if you do plated. However, you cannot determine exactly how much food will be needed and can therefore end up over-catering or have the possibility of running out of food.

    Plated dinners are easier to plan as the caterer will know exactly how many portions of each dish are needed and there is no possibility of waste or running out of food. You can also save in this way as you control each persons’s portion size.

    At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you will need to decide on the type of atmosphere you are trying to create. If you want a formal wedding, a plated dinner service is the better option as it is much more structured and guests are not expected to stand around and attempt to balance their plates while trying to get their food all the while being in their formal clothing.

    If you want a more casual wedding then buffet is the better option because  guests have the freedom to structure their own evening by eating when they want and how much they want, just ensure there is enough food.

     

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    Should you tip your wedding vendor?

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    By Mariska van Zyl

    There’s no denying that planning your wedding can be exciting, overwhelming and very expensive. So establishing a budget and planing ahead is crucial. There are a few hidden costs when it comes to your wedding day, tipping vendors being one of them.

     

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    Photographers & Videographers:
    It’s not necessary to tip the photographer and videographer if they own their own business as all the costs will usually be included in the contract. If you feel that they went the extra mile you can add an additional amount to the agreed price or you can send a thank you gift after the wedding.

    Catering staff and Bartenders:
    If your contract doesn’t include tip, you should tip 10 to 20 percent of the total catering bill. If you have an open bar, bartenders do expect to receive a tip from guests as they serve the drinks but it isn’t necessary as they’ll already receive a fixed amount from the venue.

    Hair & Makeup artist:
    When you hire a hair and makeup artist that owns their own business, you aren’t obligated to tip them. However, if you go to a salon you are expected to tip as you would going for a normal appointment.

     

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    Officiant:
    While it isn’t customary to tip religious officiants, however if you want to thank them for their service, you can send them a thoughtful gift or better, make a donation to their place of worship.

    Musicians and DJs:
    If you are hiring an independent band or DJ, you aren’t obligated to tip, however when the band or DJ is being booked through an agency, tipping each member is standard.

    Tips are meant to to be given to vendors who go above and beyond their contracted duties, so remember to have a look at the vendors’ contracts to see if any gratuity is added in the costs. If your budget is tight, there are other ways of giving “tips”. You can give your vendors excellent reviews or refer them to other friends that are getting married.

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    Deciding on the shape of your engagement ring

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    There are many popular diamond shapes to choose from when it comes to engagement rings. The top ten are: round, princess, oval, marquise, pear, cushion, emerald, asscher, radiant and heart.

    The shape of the diamond refers the basic outline when viewed face up. The cut of a diamond refers to how the diamond’s facets are arranged and its ability to reflect light. The most common cutting style is brilliant (cut with 57 or 58 facets to maximise sparkle) and then there is also the step cut which is generally used when cutting square and rectangular shapes (used for cutting emerald and asscher shapes).

    Considering the 4 C’s and your budget when deciding on a shape is important but what it really comes down to is personal preference and each shape has its own charm.

    Round

    A round shaped diamond is the most popular choice for an engagement ring as it looks good on most hands and in most settings. Almost all round diamonds are cut brilliant which maximises the potential brightness. However, due to the high demand of this shape, the cost per carat is higher than other shapes.

    Princess

    This shape is also very popular due to the fact that it has a unique shape and has a slightly lower price per carat than the round shape. It also works in most ring setting styles, although it should be set with 4 prongs to protect all four corners. A brilliant cut princess diamond rivals the brilliant round because it offers that sparkle at a lower price. Its square shape also easily disguises imperfections meaning that you can choose pretty much any carat size.

    Oval

    This shape is becoming more popular and it is an adaptation of the brilliant cut round shape so it is perfect for those who like the sparkle of the round but want something a bit more unique. The elongated shape creates the illusion of a larger size and makes the finger appear longer and slimmer. It is also flexible in terms of setting styles and hides small imperfections.

    Marquise

    This long and narrow shape has one of the largest surface areas in the upper part of the diamond of all the shapes. It makes the size appear larger than it is and makes the finger seem longer and slimmer, like the oval. Symmetry is important when cutting this shape as the two end points should align and the right and left sides should form a mirror image. It should be set with 2 prongs to protect the two points.

    Pear

    This shape is a combination of the round and marquise shapes with a tapered point on the one end. It also has the lengthening and slimming effect on the finger due to its asymmetry. It is feminine, unique and elegant. This shape also needs to be symmetrical and set with a prong at the point for protection. You can decide which direction you would like the point to face but positioning the point to face the fingernails is more flattering on the hand.

    Cushion

    Cushion cut is a square shape with rounded corners. This style shows clarity (imperfections) well which is something to take into consideration when deciding which of the 4 c’s is most important to you – high clarity in this case. This shape works well in vintage settings.

    Emerald

    This shape was originally for cutting emeralds, hence the name. Due to the way it’s cut, it produces a hall of mirrors effect rather than the sparkle that comes with brilliant cuts. It also emphasises the symmetry that comes with this shape. It is flattering on the hand and the long lines and flashes of light that come with this shape bring a sense of elegance. It is not such a common choice for an engagement ring meaning that you can find more affordable options in higher quality than other shapes. However, this shape does not hide imperfections as well as shapes that are cut brilliant.

    Asscher

    This shape has an antique feel to it and is similar to the square emerald but with larger facets. The more facets, the more sparkle. But like the emerald and because of the open and square cut corners, it does not hide imperfections well and so a high clarity is necessary.

    Radiant

    This shape is the first square shape to be cut brilliant, the second being princess. A square radiant shape is similar to princess but with cropped corners. It will often look the same as princess if it is set with four prongs covering each corner. A rectangular radiant shape is perfect for those who like the look of the emerald shape but want the shine that comes with the brilliant cut. Clarity is less of a concern with this shape as the many facets hide imperfections.

    Heart

    This shape is a classic symbol of love but carat weight is important as the shape is difficult to achieve in diamonds smaller than 0.50 carats. Symmetry is also important in this shape. The irregular shape of a heart cut means it will need to be set with more prongs to protect the stone. The many facets that come with the cutting of this shape will ensure a lot of sparkle.

    Now that you know what each shape has to offer, you need to decide what is most important within your budget – size or quality?

    If size is important to you but you are on a budget, you should consider a shape that appears larger than the carat weight indicates, such as the emerald and marquise.

    If having a very sparkly ring is important, you should choose a shape that is cut brilliant rather than step.

    If clarity is important to you but you are on a budget, choose a shape that has many facets (like round and princess) because the facets help to hide imperfections.

    It is recommended to narrow your choice down to two shape options and then try on the rings that are available to you within your budget to see what you love most.

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    Which classic wedding hairstyle is right for you?

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    When it comes to hairstyles for your wedding day, you need to take account for the type of hair that you have. This will help to determine what kind of style will work best.

    You also need to consider what comes with each style in terms of needed products and up-keep/touch ups. If you don’t want to worry about what your hair looks like, then choose a style that is quite structured. These generally come with little maintenance.

    For styles that are less structured, as you will either have to have a touch up at some point or accept the fact that your hair will look different to how it was when the wedding started.

    So let’s take a look at each classic hairstyle and you can decide which one will work best for you.

    Bun

    You can choose a high bun or a low bun, both are elegant looks. A bun keeps your hair in place for the whole event. It is also a great option if you don’t like having your hair in your face. It’s also great for those who get hot easily as having the back of the neck open helps one to keep cool. The bun style also allows for you to add hair accessories or clip your veil into the bun.

    Half up/half down

     

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    This is hairstyle is for those who want to keep their hair out of their face but still want the flowing look. It is, however, difficult to keep the hair in place throughout the wedding. If you do decide on this style, you should be okay with your hair being a little messier towards the end of the event. This style works for most hair lengths and textures.

    Ponytail

     

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    You can do a high ponytail or a low one for a more romantic look. This style allows you to keep your hair out of your face and works for short and long, thick and thin hair. It also shapes your face.

    Loose, flowing curls

    This is an effortless and laid-back look. It works for most hair lengths and textures. Those with thicker hair might need a touch up as the weight of the hair will cause the curls to drop. Also, those with difficult hair will have to be weary of the weather because frizz is a real thing.

    Braids

    Braids are great for creating a styled look but still making sure that your hair is structured. If you have unruly hair, then a braid would be a good option for you. The only issue that comes with braids is that for them to work best, you can’t have any layering in your hair.

    Your wedding day is one of the most memorable days of your life, so of course you want to look your best but you also want to be comfortable and enjoy the day or night without constantly worrying about your hair.

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    My favourite wedding moment

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    Wedding Etc asked a group of brides and grooms to share their best memories of their weddings … and whether there was anything they’d do differently.

    1. COMPLETE SURPRISE

    ‘The thing that I enjoyed most about my wedding was NOT the planning. I am blessed to have a fabulous mom who did everything for me, all based on three Instagram pictures I showed her when I got engaged. I walked into the venue on the day not knowing a thing – I was blown away and appreciated every little detail. I felt like it was done for and not by me, which only made me feel more special on my special day. It’s a cliché, but it was a fairy tale and I thoroughly enjoyed every single bit of it. Thank God for moms!’
    – Zakia

    2. LIKE A PRINCESS

    ‘Being all dressed up isn’t usually me. I’m normally a plain Jane, but on the day, I felt like a completely different person with all of the make-up, the jewellery and the dress – like a princess!’
    – Paashanta

    3. DREAM GOWN

    ‘My most memorable moment was when my father told me how proud he was of me. After that, he walked me down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. We decided to have a small wedding, so my dress wasn’t anything glamorous. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would get my dream gown, regardless of how big or small the wedding was.’
    – Stephanie

    4. LOVE IN BRAZIL

    ‘We started dating in Rio while we were doing mission work for our church. A few months later, we got married. There with no notice, and we wouldn’t change a thing about our small, impromptu South American wedding. I would have preferred it if my husband hadn’t left his honeymoon packing for the last minute (making him late for our wedding), but at least we can laugh about it now.’
    – Verna

    5. CAUGHT ON CAMERA

    ‘I enjoyed how relaxed the atmosphere was, despite it being my wedding. We had a destination wedding, so our entire family was on this relaxed holiday buzz. It was so refreshing and it made everyone that much more present. If we could change one thing, it would probably be our video. We spent so much time, money and effort on the photographer that, come time and budget for the videographer, we were quite limited. Our video is beautiful and captures the memories, but seeing how professionally done it could have been, with the fantastic technology nowadays, we secretly want to redo ours!’
    – Hassan

    6. RAIN DANCE

    ‘We got married in late December, and in a rain-starved Western Cape, so we didn’t really think we needed to have a plan in case the skies opened up. Well, they did – our wedding day was the only day it rained that whole summer. It was a blessing in disguise, though, because our very small wedding party all ended up huddling under a garden umbrella together, drinking wine (and the odd shot of tequila), laughing, smiling and taking turns to dance in the rain. Weddings don’t always go to plan, but they often turn out better than you could’ve ever imagined.’
    – Andrea

    7. LAUGHING ALL THE WAY

    ‘The best part of my wedding day was how much fun I had. I expected it to be a stressful day, but that wasn’t the case at all. My husband and I laughed so much and we weren’t stressed at all. The only thing
    I regret is that we didn’t take enough photos and I wish we had planned a bit better when it came to time management.’
    – Yumna

    8. THE FIRST LOOK

    ‘The best part of my wedding day was when I saw my wife for the first time. She looked absolutely angelic. It was at that moment that I realised that I would be spending every day with the most beautiful woman in the world. I don’t think there’s anything I would change about that day.’
    – Rameez

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    Throw the best wedding ever in 7 simple steps

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    Want a truly unforgettable wedding day? Of course you do! Pull it all together and throw the best wedding ever with our simple 7-step guide.

    1. CONSIDER HIRING A WEDDING PLANNER

    Many couples set out thinking they can accomplish planning a wedding on their own. In the case of smaller weddings, this is definitely achievable, but if you have big plans for yours, hiring an experienced professional is the way to go. Other than having the benefit of them taking the reins and allowing you to really enjoy yourselves, wedding planners can customise specific packages according to your needs and budget, and recommend trusted vendors they have worked with in the past.

    2. TAKE TIME TO GREET ALL OF YOUR GUESTS

    Some of them will have travelled from far just to attend your wedding. Show them just how much you appreciate their presence by taking time to greet everyone. It doesn’t have to be all at once – spread the quality time throughout the evening so you get around to spending time with each person; whether it be a quick chat over a drink, visiting their table during dinner, or shaking it out later on the dance floor.

    3. SPEND 20 MINUTES JUST ENJOYING THE MOMENT

    It may seem like an obvious thing to do, but you’ll probably be so wrapped up in other aspects of the wedding that you may even forget to just take a deep breath, relax and live in the present moment. Set aside a few minutes to tell your spouse how much you appreciate them and how you’re looking forward to experiencing this next chapter of your lives together.

    4. CREATE CHARGING STATIONS

    We’re sure you don’t want your guests glued to their phones the entire night, but having a few plug points with chargers available in well-placed areas is a nice (not to mention modern) way to show your guests you care. This will also encourage them to capture some pics for Instagram, so be sure to put up a sign nearby with your wedding hashtag if you have one.

    5. HAVE AN MC

    While it may seem unnecessarily formal, choosing a family member or friend with a commanding voice to be the master of ceremonies on the day will come in handy for announcements or gathering people for group photos. Try to keep speeches to a minimum to maximise dining and social time.

    6. ASK FOR SONG REQUESTS

    A great way to make sure your guests are grooving it up on the dance floor until the early hours is to ask them for song ideas. Lock down the ones that are most special to you and your partner first, but pepper the big day with submissions from your friends and family. Ask them to RSVP with their top pick, or allow them to ask the DJ to play their favourite tracks on the day.

    7. SERVE LATE-NIGHT SNACKS

    If you plan to extend the wedding festivities late into the night, you may want to cater for those still standing. The last thing you want is for your guests to go home hungry, so hire a food truck to dish out midnight snacks, such as boerie rolls, popcorn cones and gourmet sliders, or simply order a few pizzas for the really ravenous. A coffee stand is also a great option – guests will be grateful for a warming pick-me up.

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