When you find the person who you want to spend forever with, you are aware of the different personality traits you each possess.
We spoke to Helen Searra, a qualified life coach about wedding planning and here is what she had to say about grooms who have no interest in wedding-planning.
“While planning a wedding may be of interest to you, he may not share the same feeling. This does not mean he isn’t interested in the wedding.
“Having different interests and hobbies make a relationship interesting. You can learn from one another. Find out if something you’re interested in might be something he’s interested in but has never had the opportunity to explore, and vice versa.
F”ocus on each others strengths. Some people have no idea or desire to party plan. Don’t take this personally!
Find a group of friends or family who love party planning.
“Share the fun of planning with people who are interested, that is the best way to generate fabulous, creative ideas.
“Have fun putting the event together and sharing the progress with your partner rather than setting him up to fail.
“The couples attitude and behaviour during the wedding planning can set up a repetitive dance in the marriage going forward, should they come from overly invested expectations of each other.” concluded Searra.
Image: Unsplash
Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected].
Along with the excitement of a wedding comes all the events and parties that lead up to the big day. One of the most popular pre-wedding celebrations is the bridal shower. Or is it the kitchen tea? They are similar, but there are a few differences.
Kitchen teas are more common in Australia, South Africa and New Zealand, whereas the US, UK, Belgium, Netherlands and a few other countries in Europe tend to host bridal showers.
The kitchen tea is a time to celebrate the bride-to-be, and guests bring items that can be added to the newlyweds’ kitchen as gifts. It is typically hosted at the bride’s or her mother’s house. Female friends and family are invited – kitchen teas are typically attended only by the women in the bride’s life. It is usually quite a relaxed environment and can involve fun games.
The bridal shower is a party hosted for the bachelorette. Her guests ‘shower’ her with gifts of any kind, that can be for her personal use or for her and her future spouse’s home. Brides-to-be may create a gift registry for their guests to help with ideas. The bridal shower provides the perfect opportunity for both sides of the family to mingle!
There’s no need to keep things too traditional, though. You can mix it up a bit by having a theme. You can even customise the party according to what the bachelorette likes. For example, a bride-to-be who enjoys the outdoors might appreciate a hike or scenic route, or a bachelorette with a creative streak may love a cake-decorating party.
Hyland shared a photo of the moment Adams got down on one knee on her Instagram. She captioned the sweet picture with “That can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff”, a quote from the 1995 film It Takes Two. Adams posted a video filmed on a drone of him proposing to Hyland, along with some cute images of the couple.
Hyland showed an interest in Adams back when he was on The Bachelorette. The two started flirting on Twitter in 2016 but only made things official in late 2017. The happy couple had been in a long distance relationship, since he lived in Nashville, Tennessee and she in Los Angeles, California, but took things to the next level in August 2018, when Adams moved in with Hyland.
The couple share three dogs and have stated that things have been weirdly normal and moving in together has brought them closer than ever – definitely a good thing when you’re about to tie the knot with someone.
Whether you are paying for the wedding yourselves or your parents are contributing, you will need to calculate how much money you have to spend. Once you have this figure, immediately set aside 5-10% of that for contingency.
Establishing and sticking to your budget is the best gift you can give yourself as a couple. In order to do this, you have to ensure that all your planning is documented. But before you start crunching numbers, think about the overall feeling you want your wedding to have as this will affect how you spend within your budget.
Do your research on vendors and get estimates on how much each thing will cost. This will include everything from venue to flowers to the dress and so on. Then get quotes from vendors and write it all down next to estimated costs.
Now that you know what kind of wedding you would like to have and how much money you have to spend, put together a rough guest list. The number of guests determines your venue, food and alcohol.
These are generally the largest expenses and a wise rule to follow is to allocate 40% of your budget to these three things.
It is time to discuss your non-negotiables with your partner (try to keep it down to three). These are things that you have always dreamed of having at your wedding and are willing to spend the money needed in order to achieve them. Research vendors and get quotes so that you can allocate it to the budget and then see how much is left to spend on the rest of the wedding. If you are already over budget based on your list, or close to the end of your budget, have a look at your priorities again and see what you can reduce.
Now that you’ve got all your quotes and guest list numbers, you can create the spreadsheet. You can get a template online or create your own but try to keep it as simple as possible. Put your overall sum in the top corner somewhere and then create these tabs: estimated, modified and actual.
Your estimated tab will be amounts that you have found based on research.
Modified will have real quotes from vendors.
Actual will be the final amount that you end up paying.
Time for a reality check – does your budget allow you to achieve what you want? If not, you may have to adjust your budget if that is an option or adjust your expectations.
Steps to take in order to ensure you stick to your budget:
Figure out how much you have to spend.
Research vendors and get quotes before settling on your budget.
Write a list including all researched costs and quotes from vendors.
Write down your proposed guest list
Create the spreadsheet and input all the relevant information.
There are all kinds of unique wedding traditions across the world, some of them rather strange. We compiled a list of the eight oddest we have come across.
Banging on the wedding night in France
Source: Twitter
This may not be the kind of banging you would expect on the wedding night. Family and friends gather outside the house of newlyweds to bang on pots and pans. The couple then also serves their guests drinks and snacks. This age-old French tradition is known as Charivari.
Fat arms in Mauritania
Source: Medical News Today
In Mauritania, brides work towards becoming chubbier in preparation for their weddings, as it is believed to be a good luck charm in their tradition.
The groom is beat with fish in Korea
Source: Twitter
South Koreans believe that in order to make the groom ready for the first night of the marriage, his feet should be beaten by dead fish and bamboo sticks.
Scotland’s “Blackening Ritual”
Source: The Scotsman
This age-old tradition involves family and friends showering the couple with all sorts of disgusting things and then tie them to a tree. This is done to help the bride and groom prepare them for anything life throws their way.
Crying for a month before the wedding
Source: Twitter
Chinese brides have to cry every day for an hour for the entire month leading up to their wedding. For the Tujia people in China, crying ushers in a good wedding or life event.
Stealing brides
Source: Pixabay
In some small villages in Germany, grooms aren’t guaranteed that their brides will make it to the altar on time, or at all. Kidnapping the bride is an old custom, beloved by pranksters, and carried out by friends of the betrothed-to-be. The locals might provide clues for the groom as to where his bride is, provided they are invited to the wedding. If they do not receive an invite, however, custom demands that the brideless groom pick up the bar tab – for the entire pub.
Carrying coins in shoes
Source: Twitter
In Sweden, brides are decked out from head to toe in tradition. They often wear crowns made of myrtle flowers, which symbolise virginity, marital fidelity, and good luck on their heads. In their shoes, they tuck one coin each – a silver coin in the left shoe from their father, and gold one in the right from their mom. The coins symbolise hope for the couple’s marital prosperity.
Pin the cash on the bride
Source: Pinterest
Weddings in Cuba are nonreligious civil ceremonies. Even so, they are often extravagant affairs, earmarked by interesting customs such as the “money dance”.
Meant to help fill the newlywed’s coffers, this tradition is also tons of fun for guests. After the formal ceremony’s pomp and circumstance is over, male wedding guests who wish to dance with the bride must first pin money to her dress.
Tennis star Caroline Wozniacki stepped off the court and walked down the aisle in a ceremony worthy of high praise.
The blushing bride shared the first look at the behind the scenes bits and pieces that went into making her big day possible – from dress details to pictures at her wedding venue.
Most impressive was how she custom-created the event to include her sporty personality.
Wozniacki and her now husband, former professional basketball player David Lee, were even named sports’ most romantic couple by Vogue this year – it’s so easy to see why.
She wore an Oscar del la Renta dress that perfectly matched the dreamy setting of the castle ruins at the idyllic Castiglion del Bosco in Tuscany. The details of her dress were handsown and it fit her like a glove. The ethereal gown was embellished with cascading floral details and her train was perfectly designed to fit down the 262-foot long aisle.
The bid day was managed by event planner extraordinaire Alex Fitzgibbons of Fait Accompli, the very same company that managed Duke and Duchess of Cambridges’ and the Duke and Duchess of Sussexs’ phenomenal ceremonies.
The aisle was an extravagant show of drama lined with white roses and purple snapdragons, featuring two large urns overflowing with flowers. Fitzgibbons ensured the most dramatic entrance for the bride as the stone pathway that runs along the property was her entry point.
Caroline was escorted down the aisle by her father at exactly 6pm wearing a classic cathedral length tulle veil and diamond earrings and a bracelet by Ruchi New York.
The groom looked dashing in his Tom Ford suit and the pair said their vows in front of 120 close family and friends, including bridesmaids Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian.
As the fiery Tuscan sun started to dip, the couple were pronounced husband and wife.
After the ceremony guests made their way to an unforgettable cocktail bar set up and dinner commenced at 8pm. A sleek long table framed by a canopy of greenery intertwined with lights and candles welcomed guests.
A three-course Italian dinner was served during speeches.
The bridesmaids wore mint green ensembles with designs to suit each one’s personal style.
Wozniacki and Lee took to the floor for the first time as husband and wife to the classic some “Love Someone” and an evening of unforgettable happiness and love ensued.
The long-awaited wedding of Game of Thrones star Sophie Turner and musician Joe Jonas finally took place in June and we couldn’t help swoon over the stunning Louis Vuitton by Nicolas Ghesquière wedding dress she wore.
Rumour has it the intricately detailed work of art took over 10 embroiders working for 1 050 hours on 14 metres of fabric to finally complete the immaculate creation.
Each panel of the dress was decorated with 5 400 crystal beads complimented by 50 400 white beads with a veil to match – which also took 48 hours to hand embroider.
The gorgeous couple were wed in a French chateau and a general theme of French flair was certainly present throughout the affair.
It goes without saying that Sophie’s stylish assumable was the envy of brides-to-be everywhere as she happily made her way down the isle. We can’t all afford Louis Vuitton wedding gowns but we can most certainly dream, drool and pin it on our Pinterest boards.
Counselling is an imperative part of getting married. Couples can get swept away in the planning of a wedding, losing sight of the reasons why they are getting married. Speaking to a counsellor is essential for a couple as it will assist in mediating and fine-tuning the individual needs of each person’s expectations of marriage.
Helen Searra, Cape Town-based life coach, says it is imperative to start off such a huge commitment on a positive note.
“By getting a professional involved, it will allow both parties to be heard, without interruption, so that clear communication can be made. It offers a safe environment for couples to access their emotions and concerns thereby addressing issues that may otherwise lay dormant for years,” said Searra.
Her other advice is: Marriage is about being real and counseling allows you to get real with each other, without losing your identity while you are in the “contracting” stage of your relationship.
“When we meet our life partner we not only bring 2 people into the contract, we bring our families, friends, childhoods, different belief systems, cultures and life experiences. Investing in emotional support in building the best foundations for your relationship from the beginning is vitally important.”
With the help of a counsellor, there is no worry to small or obstacle too big for a couple to overcome before getting married.
Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected]
Corey Newman often watched his girlfriend, Marlowe Epstein, do the Washington Post crossword puzzle, so he worked with the Post’s crossword creator to write a puzzle with answers related to Epstein. The clue for 51 across was “Words with a certain ring to them,” and the answer was “Will You Marry Me.” The puzzle was published in the paper, and an unsuspecting Epstein completed it with the help of Newman. Slide 3: Coffee Cup Canadian coffee chain Tim Hortons asks customers to “roll up the rims” of the cups to see if they won a prize. So Jeff Chapman snuck a tiny note that read “Will you marry me?” under the rim of his cup and gave it to girlfriend Jaimie Baisley to unroll.
Choosing the diamond, making the purchase, popping the question. Three tasks that require a sufficient amount of consideration but once they’ve been accomplished, and before you make the big announcement, there’s something else you should think about: insurance. Not particularly romantic but extremely important nonetheless. This piece of jewellery is far too valuable, in numerous respects, for you to lose or have stolen. Wedding Album gets some pointers on protecting this valuable asset from Mutual & Federal‘s Head of Product Solutions Fourie Grobler.
1 Choose the right insurance policy
All risk insurance is perhaps the most effective insurance coverage for a specified item such as an engagement or wedding ring. The policy ensures that, while you’re away from home, your ring that you wear daily will be covered if lost.
2 Keep all documentation
Hang on to documents such as the jeweller’s valuation certificate, a photo of the ring, and, of course, the receipt. These are crucial in speeding up – and smoothing out – the process of making an insurance claim.
3 Value your ring regularly
‘It’s very important to update the value of your jewellery on a regular basis to make sure that your sum insured is adequate,’ says Fourie. So ensure you have your ring is valued every year so that the insured value is up to date with the replacement value. A jeweller will either offer you a free annual valuation or charge a flat rate for one. The latter option includes an updated valuation certificate.
