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    How to plan your engagement party

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    Congratulations, you’re engaged! Traditionally, the first step in wedding festivities is to throw an engagement party celebrating your upcoming nuptials with your nearest and dearest. Here are some key steps to planning your perfect engagement party.

    Choose the hostess with the most-est:

    While tradition states that the bride’s parents typically throw the engagement party, it is not a hard and fast rule. Today, anyone can host the party, whether it be a family member, close friend or even joint hosts. Just remember that the host will be the main funder of the party, so they have to be prepared to pay.

    Pick a date:

    Next step is to find the right date. However, this is not an easy feat. Think about the scale of the party and how long it will take to plan things before setting a date. If you are going for a big, extravagant party then allot more time to plan. Engagement parties typically occur soon after the engagement but can still be held months after the fact.

    You will also need to take into consideration the schedules of your guests. For example, if family members out of town will have to travel long distances to attend, ideally don’t host the party during the week.

    Plan your guest list:

    This is an important step. Remember that the people you invite to your engagement party will also have to be invited to your wedding. As such, this guest list is a preliminary list for your big day. If you’re not sure how big your wedding will be, allow your engagement to be more intimate so that you don’t invite too many people and create an expectation.

    Set up a budget:

    Party planning can quickly get expensive if you don’t have a financial guideline in place. Set up a budget in which you allocate certain amounts of money for the venue, food and drinks, invites and other party planning necessities. This makes every following step much easier as you narrow your options to fit financial means. Remember to leave a margin for extra expenses too!

    Location, location, location:

    Now that you know how big your guest list is, you can choose a venue that will accompany everyone. The venue will speak to the type of party you want. For example, having a party in your parents’ back yard will give an intimate feel, whereas a grand ballroom will give a more luxe feel. This way, you can create a vision of the type of decor you want too.

    Send invites:

    With date and location secured, you can now send out invites. Make sure you send these out with enough time to arrive and give your guests time to plan. At least 3 weeks before the party is ideal. Luckily, your type of venue also helps to determine the style of invitation, making the design element much easier. Make sure to let your guests know the dress-code to avoid outfit disasters.

    Set up a menu:

    Now that you know the venue, your menu can perfectly correspond. For example, if it’s a cocktail event, finger foods work best. A family-style menu works best for intimate gatherings. Don’t forget to include drinks in this! Your menu should work for you, your budget and the style of party you’re aiming for.

    Plan your decor:

    At this point, you should already have an idea of the type of decor you want. Now is the time to do your research and purchase things that will bring your vision to life. Simply adding mini-candles and fairy lights can add a whimsical yet romantic feel. Use fabric to bring in colour schemes, and flowers to soften the space.

    Gift registry:

    While not expected, some guests may want to gift you and your partner at your engagement party. To prep for this, you can set up a gift registry. Remember to focus on low- to medium-priced gifts, as people will most likely spend more on a wedding gift. You can also ask guests to donate to a chosen charity in lieu of gifts.

    Dress to impress:

    As the first taste of wedding festivities, it is typical, though not required, that engaged pairs wear white to their engagement party. Regardless of colour, make sure that your outfit works well for the venue and style of party you are throwing. For example, a casual sundress won’t work for a formal event, and a beaded gown might be a bit too dressed up for a poolside celebration.

    Enjoy!

    You’ve made it! Now is the time to revel in your excitement and celebrate your future with your loved ones.

    Image: Pixabay

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    5 simple and unique ways to propose

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    Proposing is a special and memorable event, but it doesn’t have to be over the top to make an impact.

    Here are some unique and simple ways to propose that won’t leave you planning for days, cause you stress and will ensure an instant ‘yes!’

    1. Include your fur-baby

    If you share a pet, a great way to pop the question is to include them in the proposal.

     

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    How could you refuse this proposal? . . . . #proposalideas #propose #engagement #hesaidyes #shesaidyes #labrador #petproposal

    A post shared by Karina ODonnell (@simplyproposalsuk) on

    2. Photo booth proposal

    A fun way to propose that will also capture the moment.

    3. Scrabble Tiles

    Suggest a game of scrabble and use your tiles to spell out the proposal.

    4. Incorporate food

    Who wouldn’t want to be proposed to and get some yummy food at the same time?

    5. Photo album

    Create a photo album filled with memories and on the last page, ask your partner to marry you.

     

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    It’s a pleasure to share one’s memories. Everything remembered is dear, endearing, touching, precious.

    A post shared by Heilsa Handmade Photo Album (@heilsadiyalbum) on

    Image: Pixabay

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    A quick guide to women popping the question

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    Traditionally, it has always been that the man proposes to the woman. But in this day and age where gender roles are changing and same-sex relationships are legal and accepted, more and more women are bending the knee.

    Just do it

    Whether you’re a woman in a same-sex relationship or a straight relationship, you should disregard what is traditionally accepted and be able to propose to your partner. If you feel the time is right and that you and your partner are in a place to get married, there is no need to wait for them to propose; you can ask them to marry you.

    The moment

    The proposal should go the same as any traditional proposal in the sense that you plan the proposal. Look at creating a special moment that will become a beautiful memory in your relationship.

    A symbol of love

    If you are a woman proposing to a woman, then it is likely that you will present an engagement ring. If you’re a woman proposing to a man, you should consider presenting some sort of gift that they can keep forever and has sentiment to it. A great proposal gift for a man is a watch, and a great addition to that would be to get it engraved.

    Despite the fact that a woman proposing is not the norm, it certainly should be. With the dismantling of gender roles, leaving proposals solely up to men should be dismantled too.

    At the end of the day, it is a decision to get married and it should not matter who asked whom.

    Image: Unsplash

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    Engagement party venue: Gorgeous George

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    Now that you’re engaged, you’ll want to have an engagement party to celebrate with your family and friends.

    Where to have it?

    Gorgeous George is a new boutique hotel situated in the central Cape Town featuring a stunning rooftop and Gigi restaurant and bar. It is the perfect venue as it has everything you need: beautiful views, delicious food, curated drinks and seating for up to 80 guests. But don’t take our word for it – have a look for yourself:

    Restaurant and Bar

    Lounge Area

    Dining Area

    Bar Area

    Rooftop

    Lounge Area

    Dining Area

    Pool Area

    All in all, Gorgeous George is a stunning venue that will cater to your every need.

    If you would like to hire the venue, contact Gorgeous George at: +27 87 898 6000

     

    Images supplied by Gorgeous George

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    How do you know when you are ready for marriage?

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    Deciding who to spend forever with is a life-changing decision. We spoke to Cape Town-based life coach, Helen Searra, on how to determine whether you are ready for marriage or not.
    “There are a number of signs that indicate when we are ready for marriage, starting with our circle of close friends.  For instance, when our friends take their romantic relationship to a more serious and committed level, like getting engaged. This thought of following suit may become more apparent, where it may have only been a subconscious idea beforehand,” said Searra.
    She continued, “when we can’t imagine our lives without our partner, we identify them as our soulmate and are drawn to creating our own sanctuary to share with them. This is a sign.”
    “When speaking to each other about long-term plans and believing that one can be in a relationship with one’s partner forever. Knowing that one wants to be married rather than just the idea of having a wedding day. These are all tell-tale signs,” explained Searra.
    “When we have ticked off the things on our bucket list of a single life and are confident the rest of our bucket list would include our partner or bring no harm to the relationship.”
    “When our family and friends love our partner and we have discussed our different family types, belief systems and cultural differences and begin designing our own set of rules, as two separate individuals being on the same page. When we reach a certain emotional and spiritual maturity,  both having a voice,  and are able to find our way back to each other after a disagreement. These are all indicators that one is ready for marriage,” concluded Searra.
    Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counselling sessions and couples counselling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen at [email protected]. 
    Image: Unsplash
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    Not all grooms want to plan a wedding…

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    When you find the person who you want to spend forever with, you are aware of the different personality traits you each possess.
    We spoke to Helen Searra, a qualified life coach about wedding planning and here is what she had to say about grooms who have no interest in wedding-planning.
    “While planning a wedding may be of interest to you, he may not share the same feeling. This does not mean he isn’t interested in the wedding.
    “Having different interests and hobbies make a relationship interesting. You can learn from one another. Find out if something you’re interested in might be something he’s interested in but has never had the opportunity to explore, and vice versa.
    F”ocus on each others strengths.  Some people have no idea or desire to party plan.  Don’t take this personally!
    Find a group of friends or family who love party planning.
    “Share the fun of planning with people who are interested, that is the best way to generate fabulous, creative ideas.
    “Have fun putting the event together and sharing the progress with your partner rather than setting him up to fail.
    “The couples attitude and behaviour during the wedding planning can set up a repetitive dance in the marriage going forward, should they come from overly invested expectations of each other.” concluded Searra.
    Image: Unsplash
     Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected]. 
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    Kitchen tea or bridal shower – what’s the difference?

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    Along with the excitement of a wedding comes all the events and parties that lead up to the big day. One of the most popular pre-wedding celebrations is the bridal shower. Or is it the kitchen tea? They are similar, but there are a few differences.

    Kitchen teas are more common in Australia, South Africa and New Zealand, whereas the US, UK, Belgium, Netherlands and a few other countries in Europe tend to host bridal showers.

    The kitchen tea is a time to celebrate the bride-to-be, and guests bring items that can be added to the newlyweds’ kitchen as gifts. It is typically hosted at the bride’s or her mother’s house. Female friends and family are invited – kitchen teas are typically attended only by the women in the bride’s life. It is usually quite a relaxed environment and can involve fun games.

    The bridal shower is a party hosted for the bachelorette. Her guests ‘shower’ her with gifts of any kind, that can be for her personal use or for her and her future spouse’s home. Brides-to-be may create a gift registry for their guests to help with ideas. The bridal shower provides the perfect opportunity for both sides of the family to mingle!

    There’s no need to keep things too traditional, though. You can mix it up a bit by having a theme. You can even customise the party according to what the bachelorette likes. For example, a bride-to-be who enjoys the outdoors might appreciate a hike or scenic route, or a bachelorette with a creative streak may love a cake-decorating party.

     

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    PAMPAS and WINGS ? it’s a winning combination – another repost from The other side of the world … some serious wedding inspiration if you search #sydneywedding With huge thanks to #Repost @jewelphonflowers with @get_repost ・・・ How gorgeous does @nawalsaudi look with her floral and pampas wings for her Kitchen Tea! We can’t wait to create some more magic for your Wedding ? Wings @jewelphonflowers Table @prop_my_party Desserts @munchies_sydney Cake @sugarpot4me Cookie Ring @the.cookie.plate Brownies @nourasgoodies #jewelphonflowers #weddingflowers#weddingstylist #weddinginspiration#sydneywedding #sydneyflorist #bridalflowers #eventstyling #flowers #wedding #weddingreception #florist #sydneyflorist #weddingideas #stylist #weddinginspo #kitchentea #desserttable #flowerwings #pampas

    A post shared by EXPRESS YOURSELF WEDDINGS (@suffolkweddingshed) on

    Remember to save all the ‘naughty’ things for the bachelorette party, though!

    Picture: Pexels

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    Setting a wedding budget and actually sticking to it

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    Whether you are paying for the wedding yourselves or your parents are contributing, you will need to calculate how much money you have to spend. Once you have this figure, immediately set aside 5-10% of that for contingency.

    Establishing and sticking to your budget is the best gift you can give yourself as a couple. In order to do this, you have to ensure that all your planning is documented. But before you start crunching numbers, think about the overall feeling you want your wedding to have as this will affect how you spend within your budget.

    Do your research on vendors and get estimates on how much each thing will cost. This will include everything from venue to flowers to the dress and so on. Then get quotes from vendors and write it all down next to estimated costs.

    Now that you know what kind of wedding you would like to have and how much money you have to spend, put together a rough guest list. The number of guests determines your venue, food and alcohol.

    These are generally the largest expenses and a wise rule to follow is to allocate 40% of your budget to these three things.

    It is time to discuss your non-negotiables with your partner (try to keep it down to three). These are things that you have always dreamed of having at your wedding and are willing to spend the money needed in order to achieve them. Research vendors and get quotes so that you can allocate it to the budget and then see how much is left to spend on the rest of the wedding. If you are already over budget based on your list, or close to the end of your budget, have a look at your priorities again and see what you can reduce.

    Now that you’ve got all your quotes and guest list numbers, you can create the spreadsheet. You can get a template online or create your own but try to keep it as simple as possible. Put your overall sum in the top corner somewhere and then create these tabs: estimated, modified and actual.

    Your estimated tab will be amounts that you have found based on research.

    Modified will have real quotes from vendors.

    Actual will be the final amount that you end up paying.

    Time for a reality check – does your budget allow you to achieve what you want? If not, you may have to adjust your budget if that is an option or adjust your expectations.

    Steps to take in order to ensure you stick to your budget:

    1. Figure out how much you have to spend.
    2. Research vendors and get quotes before settling on your budget.
    3. Write a list including all researched costs and quotes from vendors.
    4. Write down your proposed guest list
    5. Create the spreadsheet and input all the relevant information.

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    Do couples need counselling before marriage?

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    Counselling is an imperative part of getting married. Couples can get swept away in the planning of a wedding, losing sight of the reasons why they are getting married. Speaking to a counsellor is essential for a couple as it will assist in mediating and fine-tuning the individual needs of each person’s expectations of marriage.
    Helen Searra, Cape Town-based life coach, says it is imperative to start off such a huge commitment on a positive note.

    “By getting a professional involved, it will allow both parties to be heard, without interruption, so that clear communication can be made. It offers a safe environment for couples to access their emotions and concerns thereby addressing issues that may otherwise lay dormant for years,” said Searra.

    Her other advice is: Marriage is about being real and counseling allows you to get real with each other, without losing your identity while you are in the “contracting” stage of your relationship.
    “When we meet our life partner we not only bring 2 people into the contract, we bring our families, friends, childhoods, different belief systems, cultures and life experiences. Investing in emotional support in building the best foundations for your relationship from the beginning  is  vitally important.”
    With the help of a counsellor, there is no worry to small or obstacle too big for a couple to overcome before getting married.
    Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected]

    Image: Pexels

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    Crossword puzzle proposals

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    Corey Newman often watched his girlfriend, Marlowe Epstein, do the Washington Post crossword puzzle, so he worked with the Post’s crossword creator to write a puzzle with answers related to Epstein. The clue for 51 across was “Words with a certain ring to them,” and the answer was “Will You Marry Me.” The puzzle was published in the paper, and an unsuspecting Epstein completed it with the help of Newman. Slide 3: Coffee Cup Canadian coffee chain Tim Hortons asks customers to “roll up the rims” of the cups to see if they won a prize. So Jeff Chapman snuck a tiny note that read “Will you marry me?” under the rim of his cup and gave it to girlfriend Jaimie Baisley to unroll.

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