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    Marriage is an old institution but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been updated over the years. This is especially true when looking at marriage advice for brides and wives from the 1900s.

    The rise in the feminist movement and women in the workforce have been major factors in creating more equal, modern married relationships. However, this wasn’t always the case, with women relegated to the home and caring for her husband and children.

    While some advice, like making time for each other and not going to bed angry, may have stood the test of time, other bits of wisdom have not. Take a look and have a laugh at the absurd expectations of women from the past and then leave these tips in the history books where they belong.

    Don’t bother him with your problems

    “Don’t bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.” –Sex Today in Wedded Life, by Edward Podolsky, 1943.

    Your nagging will cause the divorce

    “I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.” – Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer, 1951.

    Sex is not for fun and not for you

    “At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.” – Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride, 1894.

    Pink underwear is key

    “That the underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying , but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the colour… should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.” –Married Life and Happiness, William Josephus Robinson, 1922.

    Don’t be lazy

    “Nothing destroys the happiness of married life more than the lazy, slovenly wife.” –Bath Chronicle, Dobbin Crawford, 1930.

    Don’t clean too well

    “Men like a clean house, but fussing about all the time, upsetting the house in order to keep it clean, will drive a man from the house elsewhere.”- Married Life And Happiness, Dr. William Josephus Robinson, 1922.

    Picture: Pinterest

    In recent years, it’s been quite trendy for bridesmaids to have their own unique looks, whether it be with various dress cuts or different gowns entirely. Why should they have all the fun?

    The mismatched groomsmen trend is slowly picking up, and we are here for it. There is no rule that your groomsmen have to match. Let your groomsmen flaunt their fashions with some unique styles.

    This option is also great for those who already have good-fitting suits, as they don’t need purchase a new one for the big day. This saves them some coin and adds the comfort of knowing you look good in the suit already.

    Your best guys can mismatch in many ways. Go with different shades of a specific colour, personalised neckwear of even a variety of bold patterns.

     

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    Feature image: Unsplash

    Spring is in the air. The weather is heating up, the flowers are blossoming and better days are ahead.

    With weddings allowed under Level 2 lockdown, wedding planning can go full steam ahead. We love a Spring wedding because the weather is not overbearingly hot, and nature acts as the perfect backdrop.

    If you’re planning a spring wedding, extend that theme into your wedding cake. This theme is all about having fun and enjoying life, there is nothing serious about it. Opt for pastel colours, and include your favourite flowers as decoration.

    Here are terrific tiers to inspire your own:

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    Feature image: Pexels

    When it comes to wedding fashion, grooms are often forgotten about. It’s easy to slip on a simple black suit and call it a day.

    However, stylish grooms deserve better. Those not afraid to make a statement, should go bold with a crisp, white suit. This can be risky business and will require some expert styling.

    A white suit works for almost all seasons. It complements a winter wedding, and adds a lighter feel to go along with a summer soiree. What’s great about a white suit is that it looks great in any style, from a classic tuxedo to an edgy double-breast.

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    When opting for a white suit, it is crucial to match your whites. Wearing an ebony jacket and pearl-hued trousers will emphasise the different shades and look off.

    The easiest way to ensure your whites match is to have your suit professionally made in the same fabric or rent a full suit that has been made from one fabric.

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    Finish this look off by carefully considering your accessories. A brown shoe adds a stark difference and a bit of richness, while a black shoe is eternally classic.

    Grooms can go fully monochromatic with a matching white shirt, or break up the look with a coloured shirt. We advise a light-coloured shirt like a soft blue, pale pink or even a subtle pattern to keep up the airy look. Just avoid stripes, you don’t want to end up looking like a sailor!

    Since this look is quite bold already, its best to be simple and keep accessories to a minimum. All you need is some good neckwear and a watch to finish off this look.

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    Feature image: Unsplash

    We’ve all got some extra mirrors laying around somewhere in the house. This easily accessible and affordable item works wonders as DIY wedding decor, all you need is a sharp eye for detail.

    Mirrors can be repurposed as wedding decor in a number of ways. Use a large mirror as a seating chart by writing your table information in permanent marker, or use smaller mirrors as escort cards.

    They can also be used as table numbers and table decor, or even as a table runner! Depending on the size and shape, its uses are endless.

    Here are some magical ways to give old mirrors new life:

    Credit: Pinterest
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    Credit: Pinterest
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    Credit: Pinterest
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    Credit: Pinterest
    Credit: Pinterest
    Credit: Pinterest

    Feature image: Unsplash

    Michelle and Barack Obama are a powerhouse. The former President of the United States and former First Lady have always leaned on each other throughout their marriage, and rise to power – Michelle has opened up about the difficulties they faced along the way.

    In an Instagram post, the former First Lady shared a brand new image from their 1992 wedding, along with a few wise words on marriage.

    “Last week on The #MichelleObamaPodcast, Conan and I reflected on our marriages. This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities—bringing us so much joy, meaning, and support every single day,” she wrote.

    “But one thing is for sure: It also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. That’s one thing I’ve learned.”

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    The Obama’s tied the knot on October 3, 1992 at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. Almost three decades later, the pair have built an incredible empire and expanded their family with daughters Malia (22) and Sacha (19).

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    Speaking on the podcast, Michelle explains that their marriage has not always been easy.

    “There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window. And I say that because it’s like, you’ve got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn’t mean you quit. And these periods can last a long time. They can last years,” she said.

    “Young couples, they face these challenges and they’re ready to give up because they think they’re broken. And I just want to say, look, if that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage.

    “And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would’ve missed all the beauty that was there as well.”

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    Feature image: Instagram / Michelle Obama

    While the standard assumption is that celebrity marriages don’t last, there are actually some Hollywood couples who have proven that love conquers all. These great talents are also great partners and have shared their wisdom with fans over the years.

    Here are our favourite bits of marriage advice from celebrity couples.

    Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell

     

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    Although not legally married, Goldie and Kurt have been together for more than 30 years.

    “Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy. Family. Fun. Laughs. Sex,” Goldie told People. “If you don’t nurture that, and remember, you’re done.”

    Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka 

     

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    Everyone’s Instagram couple goals, Neil and David aren’t just good on the gram but are actually good at building a strong bond in reality as well.

    “In our relationship, communication is super important,” Neil said to Entertainment Tonight. “Good friends of ours said, ‘You need to talk it out,’ and if that means raising your voice, you need to raise your voice. Know what you’re talking about. Know where you’re standing as opposed to letting stuff build up, I guess.”

    Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson 

     

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    Tom Hanks, everyone’s favourite star/dad gave out the marriage advice you would expect from such a lovely, humble guy. 

    “We just like each other,” he said. “You start there … I still can’t believe my wife goes out with me. If we were in high school and I was just funny, I’d never have the courage to talk to her.”

    Emily Blunt and John Krasinski

     

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    Another favourite pair, Emily and John combine major Hollywood stardom with their down-to-earth, funny style.

    “We really trust each other,” she told E! News. “We’re very honest with each other. We sort of have a shorthand and secret language that ultimately is gonna work for us.”

    Chrissy Teigen and John Legend 

     

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    Everyone knows that Chrissy and John are great together, especially because she teases him so much on social media. Her advice reflects their “all in good fun” attitude.

    “I think it’s really important to be complete partners in crime,” Chrissy told Well+Good. “I love the mentality of ‘us against the world.’ Even when you have kids, never forget your relationship as partners and lovers – that’s so important.”

    Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard

     

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    These two have weathered incredible storms and come out on the other side stronger. Acknowledging you need some help is key and this couple know first hand.
    “We have a very healthy marriage and we got there by doing therapy when we needed it, and constantly doing fierce moral inventories,” Kristen once told People.
    Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade 

     

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    Finally, Gabriella and Dwayne have the advice that trumps all others: Don’t listen to advice. The beautiful couple understand that each relationship is personal between those involved so taking on the world’s pressures doesn’t help.
    “Stop listening to people who have failed miserably at relationships as they offer relationship advice; that’s the first thing,” she told Ebony. “Second, my ‘perfect’ relationship isn’t the next person’s. Stop comparing your life, your love and your marriage. Everyone [doesn’t] have to match for it to be real, amazing and beautiful. It only needs to be [those three things] to you.”
    Image: Instagram/GabUnion

    Planning your big day is an exciting time, filled with a number of moving parts. Beyond your wedding flowers and seating chart, it’s important to give lots of thought to the legal side of getting married.

    As you join hearts with your partner, you also enter into a legal agreement that can have serious repurcussions later on in life. As such, this might be the most important decision you make in the lead up to your big day.

    Couples intending to marry will have to sign a marriage contract. South Africa has three main matrimonial property systems, and each option will largely impact on the couple if they decide to divorce later on in life.

    Marriage in community of property:

    Legal Wize explains that marriage in community of property essentially combines the estates of the married couple. Property and debts acquired prior to or during the marriage are shared equally in undivided shares (50%). Both spouses are jointly liable to creditors.

    South African law automatically opts for this marital regime unless another regime is selected. This is the most popular agreement in the country, although it’s not the advisable option for many reasons.

    This contract makes you responsible for all debt incurred by your spouse, including debt incurred before your marriage. Your financial position could thus be weakened by your partner. In the event your assets are seized by a court order to pay creditors for money owed to them, all of your assets can be taken because your estates are joined.

    Beyond this, if your spouse dies without a will in place, the surviving spouse is only entitled to half of the assets. The other half are automatically granted to any dependents like children, or the deceased’s nearest relations in the absence of kids.

    Of course, if the marriage ends in divorce then all assets will be split equally, regardless of what you came into the marriage with.

    This option makes the most sense for couples who enter into the marriage with little assets. However, you cannot predict the future. You might hit it big later on in life and your relationship with your partner may turn sour, but you will still have to share your assets equally in the event of divorce.

    Marriage out of community of property with accrual:

    Another option is to marry out of community of property with accrual.  The accrual system is a formula that is used to calculate how much the larger estate must pay the smaller estate if the marriage comes to an end through death or divorce.

    Only property acquired during the marriage can be considered when calculating the accrual. The accrual system does not automatically apply and must be included in an ante-nuptial contract.  

    An ante-nuptial contract is a contract entered into to regulate whether a marriage will be out of community of property with/without the accrual system. It must be signed by the persons entering into a marriage, two witnesses and a notary public, and it must be registered in the Deeds Registries office within the prescribed time period.

    Marriage out of community of property without accrual:

    If a couple decides to marry out of community of property without the accrual system, the spouses have their own estates which contain property and debts acquired prior to and during the marriage (“what is mine is mine and what is yours is yours”). Each spouse is separately liable to his/her creditors. Prior to the marriage, an ante-nuptial contract must be entered into to indicate that the marriage will be out of community of property. 
    This marriage contract protects your individual assets, but disadvantages the spouse who earns less. The breadwinner of the relationship will end up with greater assets because they likely paid for it, disadvantaging the other spouse and all of their unpaid efforts in the marriage. This is especially damaging for those who stop working to raise their children while their partners work, as their reproductive labour goes unrecognised by the law.

    Feature image: Pixabay

    Ethereal: Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems not to be of this world. Float down the aisle in a dreamy creation of soft fabrics and silhouettes. Ethereal dresses are perfect for the bride wanting to exude a subtle sophistication.

    This style is all about softness. Opt for airy cuts with billowing sleeves and a-line skirts that move with your every step. Adding layers builds on this fantasy and produces an even more delicate touch.

    Think of fabrics like tulle, silk and lace to create this dream. Incorporate delicate applique details on top to perfectly finished it off.

    Turn your dreams to reality with these magical gowns:

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    Feature image: Pexels

    Food, glorious food. Everybody loves a little snack to tide them over during the day. While you will likely have a yummy spread set out for your guests during cocktail hour, you can also use food for another function.

    Escort cards are small personalised items to guide your guests to their seat. Unlike a seating chart, they can take the card with them. This card can really be made of anything, from seashells and marble slabs to pot plants and mini booze bottles.

    Food-lovers can extend this theme and give their guests something to nibble on by using bite-size snacks as escort cards. Any treat will work, as long as its small and individual-sized. You can go fruity with lemons and berries, use blocks of your favourite cheese on skewers or label chocolates.

    Here are some delicious bites you should think of adding to your big day:

    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest
    Seat and eat: Food-inspired escort cards
    Credit: Pinterest

    Feature image: Pinterest