Whether you want animals as a backdrop for your wedding photos or using them for your grand entrance, live creatures aren’t for your wedding decoration. It may seem ‘stunning’ or produce that extra ‘wow’ factor, but at the end of the day, it’s cruel and not fair on the animals.
Recently, a bride thought it would be a great idea to use goldfish in her centerpieces. She thought it would be a lovely idea to have a pair of goldfish in a bowl on each table, which symbolised her nuptials. The bride expected guests to take the goldfish home, as a ‘sort of’ wedding favour.
Sounds foolproof right? Wrong.
The maid of honour tried her best to discourage the bride from this idea, but sadly, she would not budge. As hard as it may seem, not everyone wants to go home with an unexpected new pet. As the wedding reception commenced, she was left with having to keep an eye on the fish centerpieces. A few goldfish checked out a little early, but the newly married couple had ‘spares in the back’.
By the end of the night, as the maid of honour predicted, guests left without their special ‘wedding favours’. The maid of honour was saddled with 100 goldfish. She rushed to the pet shop to get a bigger tank but many had died by the time she got home.
In the end, only one out of the 100 goldfish survived. The fish named Sun lived for five years, a duration longer than her friendship with the bride and even longer than the marriage.
The use of animals as wedding props doesn’t end there. Elephants have been used in wedding ceremonies for decades. These majestic creatures are kept captive, and live in fear of being forced into submission by abuse. The elephants are used to make an entrance or exit by the couple, for the wedding photoshoot and sometimes just as decoration.
Taking them out of their natural habitat and subjecting them to the needs and desires of your wedding day is not okay.
Picture: Pixabay
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Counselling is an imperative part of getting married. Couples can get swept away in the planning of a wedding, losing sight of the reasons why they are getting married. Speaking to a counsellor is essential for a couple as it will assist in mediating and fine-tuning the individual needs of each person’s expectations of marriage.
Helen Searra, Cape Town-based life coach, says it is imperative to start off such a huge commitment on a positive note.
“By getting a professional involved, it will allow both parties to be heard, without interruption, so that clear communication can be made. It offers a safe environment for couples to access their emotions and concerns thereby addressing issues that may otherwise lay dormant for years,” said Searra.
Her other advice is: Marriage is about being real and counseling allows you to get real with each other, without losing your identity while you are in the “contracting” stage of your relationship.
“When we meet our life partner we not only bring 2 people into the contract, we bring our families, friends, childhoods, different belief systems, cultures and life experiences. Investing in emotional support in building the best foundations for your relationship from the beginning is vitally important.”
With the help of a counsellor, there is no worry to small or obstacle too big for a couple to overcome before getting married.
Helen Searra is a Cape Town-based life coach. She has been practicing for 10 years in her field. She offers individual counseling sessions and couples counseling both in person or remotely over Skype. She offers package deals of either 4, 6 or 8 sessions. To enquire for a rates card, contact Helen on [email protected]
Image: Pexels
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By Mariska van Zyl
There’s no denying that planning your wedding can be exciting, overwhelming and very expensive. So establishing a budget and planing ahead is crucial. There are a few hidden costs when it comes to your wedding day, tipping vendors being one of them.
Photographers & Videographers:
It’s not necessary to tip the photographer and videographer if they own their own business as all the costs will usually be included in the contract. If you feel that they went the extra mile you can add an additional amount to the agreed price or you can send a thank you gift after the wedding.
Catering staff and Bartenders:
If your contract doesn’t include tip, you should tip 10 to 20 percent of the total catering bill. If you have an open bar, bartenders do expect to receive a tip from guests as they serve the drinks but it isn’t necessary as they’ll already receive a fixed amount from the venue.
Hair & Makeup artist:
When you hire a hair and makeup artist that owns their own business, you aren’t obligated to tip them. However, if you go to a salon you are expected to tip as you would going for a normal appointment.
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This forest ceremony area is just mind blowing at @beloftebos_wedding_venue What do you guys think?
Officiant:
While it isn’t customary to tip religious officiants, however if you want to thank them for their service, you can send them a thoughtful gift or better, make a donation to their place of worship.
Musicians and DJs:
If you are hiring an independent band or DJ, you aren’t obligated to tip, however when the band or DJ is being booked through an agency, tipping each member is standard.
Tips are meant to to be given to vendors who go above and beyond their contracted duties, so remember to have a look at the vendors’ contracts to see if any gratuity is added in the costs. If your budget is tight, there are other ways of giving “tips”. You can give your vendors excellent reviews or refer them to other friends that are getting married.
Picture: Unsplash