Polygamy is the practice of being wed to more than one spouse. According to Merriam-Webster polygamy is defined as “marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time”. It is legal in South Africa under certain circumstances. Many African traditions allow polygamy as it is normal for a man to have more than one wife.
Before 1998
According to section 11(3) of the Repeal of the Black Administration Act (BAA) and the Natal Code of Zulu Law of 1985, women in customary marriages were seen as less than their husbands and held a lower status. They were regarded as a minor. This act meant that women in these marriages could not own property and acquire credit.
There were attempts to fix this. Section 11A was implemented. It removed the property and credit issue but did not change their legal status. Changes were then made to consider women over the age of 21 as legal majorities. This however did not work because Section 27(3) of the Natal Code (1985) still stated that a husband had control of his wife or wives.
Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998 (RCMA) made these unions legal including polygamous marriages. This law was instated in order to improve a womans position in a customary marriage. It was here that it was first stated that a woman shall be equal to her husband.
Our law now
South African law states that in order for a polygamous marriage to be legal both partners need to be over the age of 18, they must consent to the union under customary law, that law must be followed, negotiated and celebrated. This was instated in Act No. 120 of 1998.
A customary marriage must be registered. This is very important especially with polygamous marriages. If you wed a man in a traditional ceremony, you may consider yourselves as married. If your husband weds again and that marriage is registered at Home Affairs, the registered marriage parties are entitled to everything because it’s on record.
If the marriage is not registered and the husband dies there is a chance that she will be left with nothing. The husband’s family can claim everything and explain that the wife or wives will not get anything because there is no legal obligation.
It’s a man’s world
South Africa does not recognise polyandry which is the practice of a woman having more than one husband. This is because polygamy is legal under certain circumstance in South Africa. The circumstances being practices of various cultures and religions in South Africa. Unfortunately there are no religions or cultures that recognise a woman having multiple husbands. So if there’s no recognition it doesn’t fall under ‘certain circumstances’, therefore only men are legally allowed to be polygamists in South Africa.
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Your nails may seem insignificant compared to your wedding dress but they still need to stand out. Your hands will be on show, from guests wanting to have a look at the shiny new rock to the photographer capturing different angles of it.
Nail designs have come along way in the last few years. From single to multi-colours, various finishes and nail art, some brides opt for the classic French tip look but you don’t have to stick to the norm.
Simple with a twist
If you want to maintain a simple look, what about a neutral colour with a touch of nail art? It still looks elegant but includes a fun element.
Don’t be scared of length
Long claw-like nails are in and look great. If you’re unsure on what shape to get, ask your nail technician to shape the nails according to your hands.
Glitter for days
Looking for more of a sparkle for your wedding claws. You can get glitter on one nail or a few, a strip of shine or go for a glitter ombre technique.
Have fun with finishings
If you’re not one to experiment with colour, how about changing the finishings. Try a matte, metallic, sheer, textured or pearl finish. Make sure to ask your nail salon what they offer because a lot of the time it’s not on display.
Artsy nails
Wanting to showcase the creative side? Add some nail art or pattern on your nuptial nails.
Special tips
How about plain nails with a funky tip. Opt for various patterns, colours or (don’t forget the) finishes.
Don’t be afraid to mix and match, there is really no reason to play by the rules.
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By Mariska van Zyl
Step aside bride, it’s important for the groom to look sharp on his wedding day too. Here are our 5 fashion rules no groom should break on their wedding day:
The perfect fit
Even the most expensive suit can make you feel and look uncomfortable on your wedding day, so getting the perfect fit is key. The hem of the suit jacket sleeve should fall on the wristband. The bottom hem of the jacket should cover your pants pockets and the vents should remain closed. Your trousers must be comfortable when standing and sitting down. The hem of the trousers should just hit the top of your shoes. Whether you are buying or hiring a suit, get it properly measured and make sure the suit is altered to fit.
Coordinate with your bride
Inevitably, the bride’s outfit will be the one everyone is looking at, so your outfit should compliment rather than compete with hers. Here are some ways you can match your bride:
• If she is wearing a ball gown, you should compliment her by wearing a black tuxedo
• An off-white lace dress pairs well with a tailored tan suit
• If she is wearing a minimalistic, elegant gown, a slim-cut grey suit will do the trick
Less is more
When it comes to groom’s fashion, you don’t want to upstage the bride, but you don’t want to fade away either. Stick to the basics but change the little details – a patterned pocket square, cufflinks, a tie pin and fun socks can add tons of detail without going over the top.
Groomed to perfection
Just because your everyday grooming routine takes less than 10 minutes, doesn’t mean your wedding day should be the same. Take some time on the day to properly groom and pamper yourself to make sure you look your absolute best. And remember, you‘re going to want to look like the best version of yourself so avoid trying out any new grooming trends on the day or the days leading up to it.
Stick to the theme and season
While your go-to idea might be to reach straight for that tuxedo, the colour and style of the suit needs to match the look and feel of your wedding. The time and place of your wedding will also play a big role – morning vs evening and indoor vs outdoor. For daytime or outdoor weddings you might want to consider a lighter shade suit, while darker hues will work best for more formal evening ceremonies. If your wedding is in winter, you can get a bit playful with rich colours and textures, whereas for a summer wedding it’s best to keep it cool by wearing light-weight fabrics.
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Shopping for your wedding dress is a significant part of your wedding journey. For some brides, this is the time when it all starts to feel real, so make sure your experience is as good as it can possibly get:
1. Take your time
Don’t rush the process. Book an appointment to go look at dresses and try them on, but don’t think of it as something you can do over lunch. You need at least two to three hours to try on as many dresses as you wish, to take your time to look at them properly and consider what they feel like. You’ll most probably be spending a large amount of money on your gown, so take your time to make a proper decision that you won’t regret.
2. Enjoy the attention
With everybody’s eyes fixed on you and all the ooh-ing and aah-ing, it can get a little overwhelming. Don’t see this as a time to feel pressured or under scrutiny, but rather as an opportunity to be spoiled and admired. And who doesn’t love that!
3. Wear the right underwear
Don’t make the mistake of wearing black underwear or a bra that doesn’t fit properly. You want to be able to see the complete look as it would be on your wedding day. Take a few options along – a strapless bra, something offering a little more support, stickies and seamless nude panties.
4. Do your homework
It’s important to know what you like, but more importantly, what you don’t like, before putting on a dress. Do some research on silhouettes, types of fabrics, lengths, colours and detail beforehand so that you don’t feel overwhelmed by all the options on the day of trying on. That said, be open to suggestions and trying on dresses you’re on the fence about. You might end up loving something you never thought you would.
5. Take your own shoes
You need to be able to walk comfortably while wearing your dress, so if you already have your wedding shoes, take them along. If not, take something with a similar heel and height of the shoe you’d probably go for to get the best idea of what’s going to work. This is also important for making sure the length of the dress is right for you.
6. Be realistic
A multi-layered dress with tons of hand-stitched jewels and paperthin straps might look beautiful on the hanger, but if you’re blessed in the bust department, you may need something with a little more support up top. Be realitic about what fits your body type and will flatter you the most instead of setting your sights on something that just won’t work.
7. Set a budget beforehand
You absolutely need to be clear about what you can afford before even setting foot in the shop. Tell your consultant before he/she makes any suggestions so that they can’t force any higher price on you. This might give you slightly less options, but will avoid you setting your heart on a dress that you just can’t afford. Also, don’t be afraid to negotiate – if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
8. Don’t bring a crowd
Your entire wedding party and their ancestors don’t have to be at your fitting. Everyone has an opinion, and this will just add fuel to your anxiety fire. Take along a bridesmaid, a family member or a friend who knows you and who’s opinion you trust. You want your confidant(s) to be honest with you, but also respect your wishes.
9. Don’t put pressure on yourself
If you’re wanting to lose weight before your wedding, good on you, but don’t let this drive you insane. Don’t put pressure on yourself to fit into a 6 if you’re normally a 10. You can always have a dress altered to make it smaller, but not vice versa. Also, don’t put pressure on yourself to find something immediately or at the first shop you set foot in. Give yourself ample time to shop around and try out as much as possible.
10. Timing is everything
If you’re getting married in a year, now is the time to start booking appointments. If you want to get a dress custom made, you need to give your designer enough time to make the dress, as well as do any alterations if necessary. If you’re buying off the rack, don’t rush it. Shop around and make sure you’re confident in your decision, but also make provision for any alterations, so that you know your dress will be completely ready a month in advance.
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