The ex-factor: Should you invite them?

The ex-factor: Should you invite them?

The million dollar question! If you were in a serious relationship before dating your current partner, you might wonder how to go about it. You can’t deny that they were a significant part of your life, but you also don’t want to create unnecessary tension or make anyone uncomfortable, least of all yourself or your new partner.

So, if it’s something you’re considering, it largely depends on a few factors. Keep these in mind when making your decision:

Do you have a relaxed friendship with them? If so, and hopefully in that case they are friends with your current partner too, of course you should invite them. That probably means you broke up on good terms and have put the past behind you. We say go for it.

If, however, things did not end on a good note and there is unfinished business, or unresolved feelings from their side (hopefully not from yours!), then it might be a no-go. You might think you are just being polite, but the truth is, you don’t owe them anything. Having them there might just create opportunity for a scene you don’t want.

If they are the plus-one of an invited guest, but you did not actually plan on inviting your ex, discuss this with your partner and the invited guest. If it makes you or your spouse uncomfortable, you can talk to the guest and sensitively explain why you don’t think it’s a good idea. Any reasonable person would understand if they are made aware of the situation.

Lastly, in which ever scenario you find yourself, avoid two things: Trying to make your ex jealous with your new partner, and disregarding your new partner’s feelings. If you’re trying to make anyone jealous, you might have to work on some issues and make sure you really are over your ex. Remember, your new life with your new partner should kick off with a happy start and if it would hurt them, we say don’t go there. It’s not worth it.

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